Reporting for Duty
by MissyMaestro
Summary: An accident left the U.S.S. Enterprise with an opening for a navigator. The admiral's choice to fill the spot quickly angers the crew- until they meet the new commander.
1. Chapter 1

The crew of the U.S.S. Enterprise fell silent as the new tactical officer boarded and reported to the bridge. Captivated eyes followed as the commander strode solemnly through the corridor, not pausing to exchange niceties or greetings with the crew. The sound of the sharp footfalls hung in the air, punctuating everyone's bated breath.

Captain Kirk swallowed back his emotion and stood to meet the new officer. He offered a nervous look with Spock, but quickly realized his emotion was being wasted on the Vulcan hybrid. Stealing a glance toward Scotty, Kirk prayed the man understood his emptiness. Judging by his unusually long face, Scotty did. Behind him, Uhura was chewing on the inside of her lip feverishly. Sulu cleared his throat and turned back to the monitors, hoping desperately for a distraction.

The officer, already donning a yellow shirt, stood and addressed Kirk. "Captain. I have been assigned to the Enterprise as navigator and science officer. I'm reporting for duty."

"Yeah. I received the papers," Kirk mumbled. Taking a deep breath and steeling himself, he looked into the face of the woman standing before him. "Commander Chekov."

The woman resembled her late brother in every way. Her milky skin and straw-colored hair would have made her beautiful in any other setting, but invoked painful hurt here. Chekov had never spoken about himself much, but had brought up his twin sister when he did. Now, her blue eyes, identical to his in every way, bored into Kirk's very being, and he took a step back from the woman.

"I apologize if my presence makes you uncomfortable. I would take no offense if you put in a request to have me transferred to another starship." Chekov said, breaking the silence. Her Russian accent danced about, though her tone was serious. She sucked in her cheeks as she took a deep breath and awaited the response.

"No, no. You belong on the Enterprise." Kirk replied. "Forgive me. It's just-" he trailed off. When words didn't come, he ran his hand over his face and sighed. He tried to recall the woman's face from the state funeral but couldn't conjure anything. That day had been a blur. Losing a crew member was always gut-wrenching, but young Chekov had sacrificed himself to save his crew and millions of people he'd never met. Kirk was supposed to speak at the funeral, but once he took the podium, he could only open and close his mouth his continued disbelief that the commander was gone.

"If I may," Spock interjected as he strode forward. "I believe I can lend an explanation for the less-than-warm welcome you are receiving."

"Spock," Kirk interrupted weakly.

The woman glanced between the two men with apprehension.

"You look so similar in appearance to the former Commander Chekov, you are bringing memories of him to the crew, which in turn is making them feel sorrow at his untimely death." Spock studied the woman's face, then nodded. "You have done nothing to warrant being transferred to another starship. I have every confidence in your abilities. You'll be a great asset to the crew. Your academy scores were phenomenal, much like your brother's."

"Yes, though my brother was always the smart one," the woman replied breezily.

"We're sorry," Uhura suddenly blurted. "I'm so sorry. He died saving-"

"I know how he died," the woman said. "I read the report. The manner in which he died was foolishly heroic, but that was very much my Pavel."

"We wouldn't be here today have your brother not stayed behind to-" Uhura paused and stifled a sob. "An entire planet was at stake, and instead of letting them die, he," her voice cracked again. Scotty embraced her and refused to make eye contact with Chekov. Still, tears began to trickle down his cheeks.

"Your pain reassures me that Enterprise family he served alongside loved him as well as I did." She clasped her hands behind her back.

"We're due to embark on our next mission and we're unable to proceed without a navigator, Captain," Spock announced.

"Right," Kirk said, nodding. He turned to Commander Chekov and beheld her. She was the spitting image of her twin brother, but as much as it hurt to see that same curly blonde hair and youthful appearance, it felt right to have her stepping onto the bridge. "Commander, forgive me. I got the papers, but I can't remember your first name."

"I'm Anya Chekov," she replied.

"Welcome aboard. You've served on a starship before, so you know what to do. Let's get to it, people!"

"I do, Captain," Anya replied. She took her seat at the bridge as the rest of the crew found their chairs. A small smile found her lips as she settled into her brother's place. No one paid much attention when the computer asked for Chekov's authentication code. Yet when she spoke, the a warmth settled over the crew.

"Nine. Five. Wictor. Wictor. Three."


	2. Two AM

_Thirty Days Ago  
_  
"Keptain!" Chekov's frantic voice came over the intercom. "It isn't working!"

Kirk touched his earpiece. "Okay, forget it! Scotty, beam him back! Chekov, it's lost. We did everything we could." He paced back and forth on the bridge of the Enterprise, waiting for the familiar white beams to appear in the chamber and deliver the boy back to safety. Chekov had beamed down onto a planet on the verge of implosion, hoping to disarm the device placed there by the Klingons. So maybe the planet would be lost, but Kirk would be damned if he'd lose one of his own. They'd evacuated as many of the population as they could, though thousands were left behind. "Bring it back in, Chekov."

"But the people!" Chekov exclaimed. "I'll keep trying! I can do it."

"You've got ten seconds, then you're coming back," Kirk replied. "Scott, lock on to him and prepare to beam him back."

Chekov's voice came across the intercom. "Keptain, I need more time! Just a little more time."

"Okay, there's no more time. We're bringing you up." Kirk turned to the technical officer. "Now." When beaming didn't begin immediately, the captain turned back to his officer. "Now, _now!"  
_  
"I can't get a lock. I can't- argh!" Scotty frantically tried to lock on to the navigator's position, his hands trembling as they flew over the screen.

"There's too much going on. He's moving too quickly. He needs to stay still!" He turned and looked for aid. "Someone else – hurry. Someone try. I can't get a lock."

"Well, _get_ a lock. If that thing blows, it's taking him and us with it." Kirk glanced at the countdown on the monitor. "Chekov! Hang tight, okay? We're bringing you back."

"Wait, wait, wait! I almost have it, Keptain!" the cry came again. Chekov grunted, and a metallic ping echoed across the transmission. "It's almost- I'm- I got it!" he exclaimed. Static crackled from the earpiece as a not-so-far-off explosion reflected in the windows of the Enterprise a second later.

"All right! I should never have doubted you," Kirk exclaimed. The fiery cloud below his concerned him little. Something in the device must have blown when Chekov disarmed it, but he was beamed down far enough away that the boy should be fine. The planet hadn't exploded and thousands of lives had been saved by the crew of the U.S.S. Enterprise. Kirk grinned. _All in a day's work._ "Beam him back, Mr. Scott."

Scott stared at the monitor as if he hadn't heard the order, his body suddenly rigid.

"Beam him back," Kirk repeated, turning back to the crew. "What are you waiting for?"

"Captain," Uhura said softly, gesturing slowly to the monitor suddenly flashing red.

As Kirk turned, the word TERMINATED flashed over Chekov's profile. "No, but he disabled it," Kirk replied as he shook his head. "Sensors must have gotten screwed up, or our signal. I don't know. Chekov, we're beaming you back," he announced. "Mr. Scott, get him back." He glared at Scott, who still hadn't moved. Kirk shook his head. "I said to beam him back!" His voice rose in pitch and volume. "Now!"

When silence as the only reply, Kirk snarled aloud. " _Get him back!"_ he yelled, storming to the console and pushing Scott out of the way. The screen appeared blank – no living organisms to beam. "This thing's broken. Isn't something here always broken? Would someone fix this?" He looked from face to face, searching for someone to jump in and bring Chekov back. "Chekov, can you hear me?"

"Captain," Sulu started softly. "He's-"

"He's probably getting his eyebrows singed. Look at that fire. Come on, someone get off your asses and fix this fucking thing!" Kirk kicked a chair and started to hyperventilate as he clasped his hands on the top of his head. _No. He was far enough away.  
_  
"There must have been a detonator built in to trigger a bomb as soon as the device was disarmed," Spock broke the silence.

"Shite," Scotty whispered. "How were we supposed to know?" He turned to Kirk. "How would we have known?"

"We weren't," Spock replied. "It was indeed a well thought out trap."

"He wasn't there, okay?" Kirk replied. "We beamed him down a kilometer away."

Spock seemed to hesitate before answering. "The screen showed Commander Chekov moving toward the-"

Kirk walked past the bridge and into the beaming chamber. "Beam me down. I have to get him."

"Captain," Uhura whispered. She shook her head.

"I know. I _know,"_ he conceded. "I have to get him." Kirk said solemnly. "I have to get him. We're not leaving him here. We're taking him home."  
\- x

Kirk jerked awake, panting for breath with heart pounding. Sweat had soaked through his shirt and bedsheets. "Fuck," he whispered to himself as he wiped the beads of perspiration from his face. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and groaned. Every night since the accident he'd dreamt of Chekov's death. _Death?_ Kirk thought. _Sacrifice. Murder. Doesn't matter now.  
_  
When the note had come from the admiral regarding a new navigator, Kirk's first gut reaction was to be offended. He'd argued that it was too soon, _much too soon_ to toss someone new into the Enterprise crew. Chekov's seat hadn't even cooled, yet they were pushing someone else in, replacing him as if he was simply a light bulb that had burned out.

" _You cannot embark on a mission without a navigator, and we simply cannot afford you any more bereavement time,"_ the board had decided and responded. The crew had been stationed and awaiting orders at an outpost following the explosion.

" _I cannot embark on a mission without Chekov, period."_ Kirk had spent hours discussing the boy's death with various crew members. The general consensus was a feeling of absolute loss and wandering. The captain was no stranger to the feeling of being lost in space, but this was different and infinitely more painful.

"It's true, Captain, we cannot function without someone in the navigator position," Spock had offered. "While we are not operational, space is not as safe as it could be. Lives could be in the balance."

Uhura had done her best to remain as unaffected as Spock, but broke down in the middle of her act. "We'll never be the same, will we?"

Scotty had avoided the conversation altogether by evading the captain, and Bones had tried to joke his way through it. None of the conversations would bring the clarity or closure Kirk had hoped for, but it was reassuring that no one seemed centered anymore. Though it was broken, the unity of the crew gave him hope.

Kirk sighed and got up to make coffee. He didn't bother looking at the clock. Once the nightmare awoke him, sleep was out of the question. "Oh," he gasped in surprise when he turned into the break room and found it occupied.

"Keptain Kirk," a lilting accent came.

"I didn't expect to see anyone at this hour, Commander Chekov," Kirk greeted the new crew member.

"Chekova, actually," the woman corrected him sheepishly. She gave him a lopsided smile.

"Chekova," Kirk repeated. "Sorry. Might take some getting used to."

"It is okay, Keptain! You did not know. If you should call me by Pavel's name, at least I'll know who you mean." Anya smiled again. "Keptain, it's okay. I am sad too. Some nights it is okay. I go to sleep and I dream good dreams. But when I wake up, the reality that my brother is gone? It's consuming. It's better to be awake, than to be caught off guard by zese thoughts. Is that why you are awake now?" She took a sip of coffee. "Please, sit. There is coffee in the pot."

Kirk nodded, poured himself a mug, and sat down across from the woman. After a few moments of silence, he cleared his throat and spoke. "I'm the one who sent him down there." He let his eyes drop to Chekova's boots, which were tapping lightly on the floor.

"Hmmm," she sighed a she held her cup between her hands and pressed it to her lips. "Perhaps you did," Anya replied. "But perhaps you would have suggested returning to Earth and abandoning the mission. You think Pavel would not have wolunteered and gone to help those people anyway? You think he would have allowed you to leave?" She shifted in her chair and watched Kirk process the statement. "You did not murder my brother, Keptain. You do not need to take that guilt and responsibility. I would feel much better if you did not."

"I can't help it. He was just a kid." Kirk buried his face in his hands. "Ugh."

"You are just a kid," Anya replied softly, laying her hand on Kirk's.

He snatched his hand away and sat up straight once more. "No. I'm the captain."

"Yes, sir," Anya replied quickly. She picked up her mug and stood. "I think I'll stretch my legs. I'll see you on ze bridge. Try to get some sleep, Keptain."

Kirk sighed. "Sorry, I'm sorry. Good night, Chekov."

"Chekova, Keptain." With a soft giggle, the girl had turned the corner and left Kirk sitting by himself, staring into his coffee and wondering if he'd ever be able to hear her accent and not hear Pavel Chekov's infectiously cheery voice. 


	3. Bridge Duty

Lt. Uhura cleared her throat and raised an eyebrow in the captain's direction. When no one paid attention, she hissed, "Jim!" across the bridge.

Kirk looked up, oblivious to why she seemed to angry. "Lieutenant?"

Uhura nodded toward his armrest.

"What?" Jim stared back at her.

She sighed. "The tapping, Captain. It's a little aggravating."

That was when Jim realized he d been frantically, manically drumming out rhythms on the armrest. "Oh," he replied sheepishly. "Sorry." _Add another one to the list of ways I channel my feelings so I don't freak out._ He'd managed to squash his knee jiggling, his nail biting, and his gum chomping. _What was another annoying habit to break?_

"Feeling all right, Captain?" Spock asked. "You seem to be exhibiting signs of post-trauma-"

"Yeah, I know," Jim snapped. "I'm all right. Thank you, Mr. Spock."

"Nevertheless," Spock shrugged, "I have summoned a medical officer to bring something to 'take the edge off,' I believe the phrase is. No one's looking for you to become emotionally compromised."

Jim scowled. "Gee, thanks. Everyone's emotionally compromised." He sat back in the captain's chair and took a deep breath. "I'm okay. Thanks."

Spock nodded and turned back to his work.

Consciously reminding himself not to drum his fingers, Jim stretched his neck and cleared his throat. He tried not to let his eyes wander to Chekov Chekova s - seat. He rolled his shoulders, curled his toes, and forced himself to scan the room without stopping at her. They'd be arriving at the first outpost soon to drop off some passengers before heading back into deep space. Yet until then there was nothing to do. Kirk twiddled his thumbs and stared at his boots. He stole a glance at his new officer. _Chekov. Chekova._ It was temping to take in her blonde curls, the milky color of her skin, and the familiar shape of her face. He held his breath and tried to hear as she muttered something to Mr. Sulu. _Stop. She isn't him._ Finally, Jim stood up to pace.

"Captain Kirk," a voice came. "Permission to come aboard."

"Granted," Jim called out, happy for a distraction. He waved the doctor over.

Anya reached over and tapped Sulu's arm. "Hey. Who's zat?"

"That's Dr. Greenberg," Sulu leaned over and explained. "She was-"

"Cat?" Anya whispered. "Pavel's girlfriend?" She studied the woman's somber face and frowned. "He always said she was so bubbly and cheery."

Sulu nodded. "Cat Greenberg, yes. She was." He looked back to Anya. "No one's really been themselves since the accident."

Anya nodded. "Zat explains why no one seems like ze people he told me about. Zis brilliant crew zat s more like a second family you all seem a leettle boring." She offered a smile but quickly let it fall away when Sulu heaved a sigh. "He was especially fond of you, Mr. Sulu."

A pained curiosity painted itself on Sulu's face. "What what did he say about me?"

"He was thankful for you coming on at ze same time as heem. He said you were like ze brother he always wanted." Anya squeezed the man's shoulder. "So I'm certain I will theenk ze same in time."

Sulu gritted his teeth and stared at the controls before him. "Thank you," he choked out.

Anya turned her attention back to Cat and found the doctor had been studying her. She raised a hand in greeting but let it drop when the doctor looked away. She quickly finished her business with Captain Kirk and turned to leave.

"Do you theenk I should say something to her? Introduce myself?" Anya asked Sulu.

He shook his head. "No, no. Let her come to you."

Anya made to stand. "But I need to-"

Sulu grabbed her arm and shook his head. "Anya. It s not your duty to apologize for being here." He raised an eyebrow and continued speaking when she sat back down. "Don't say that isn't what you're doing, because it is. That s all you've been doing since day one on board. Quit being sorry that you re here."

"But-"

"You're here because you're supposed to be here. Maybe it's weird circumstances, and maybe it's a shitty, stupid reason that you're here. But you are. You're here and I'm not sorry." Sulu swatted a tear from his eye. "I guess there's just supposed to be a Chekov in that seat."

Anya sat back in her- _Pavel's,_ she reminded herself - seat and let the words sink in.

"I heard you video calling someone and saying that you wanted to transfer to another ship," Sulu continued. "Don't. There is supposed to be a Chekov in that seat," Sulu repeated softly. He reached over and held up his hand toward her.

Anya stared at it in wonder before raising her hand, lacing his fingers in his, and squeezing.

"Knew you'd knew what to do," Sulu whispered.

"Hey, you're right. Zere's supposed to be a Chekov in zis seat." Anya smiled and for the first time since stepping on board, felt accepted.


	4. 3 AM Chess Club

Hot. It was too hot. _That's_ why Anya couldn't sleep. Or so she tried to convince herself.

She kicked the covers off and rolled onto her side. _There. Nice and cool. Sleep. Now sleep. Please sleep tonight. Sleeeeeep._

Instead of sleeping, her brain conjured images of Pavel's face – or tried to. His features weren't coming out right. Her face appeared on his body, or a completely different face contorted and changed as she tried desperately to get the features right. Suddenly panicked, Anya sat up and thought harder. _Twenty seven years you have seen his face,_ she reminded himself. _You cannot forget twenty seven years._ Still, her stomach knotted itself into an uncomfortable nausea. Her heart pounded in a panic. _I can't remember his face. I can't remember what he looks like._ Sweat formed at the back of her neck and suddenly she was once again too hot.

Flipping on the light, Anya jumped from bed and clumsily knocked the items from her nightstand onto the ground as she searched for her tablet. She pulled a folder of videos up on the device and sighed in relief when her twin's face projected into the air in front of her. He laughed at something she couldn't see and smirked at the camera. Anya zoomed in on his image and watched him intently. The video had been taken by their mother the last time they were on Earth. She'd thrown the twins a join birthday celebration and insisted on documenting the whole thing, start to finish.

"Pavel," Anya breathed in relief. She sat the tablet down, left the projection on, and sat cross-legged on the bed. "Eef you can hear me, somewhere, somehow," she trailed off and bit her lip. "Zey miss you here. You should see ze poor decter's face whenewer she sees me." The projection played. Pavel beamed. Laughed. Drank. Laughed more. Anya watched him and smiled fondly. "I weesh I could see you one more time. I can't remember the last thing you said to me." His infectious giggle rang about her bedroom and she fell asleep to the glow of his face, taking comfort in his presence, like she had since the womb.

* * *

The next day brought little actual work to do. Anya's eyelids were heavy and she struggled to stay awake. The realization that she may forget the finer points of Pavel – his voice, his face, the color of his hair – terrified her. She was on edge all together and wondered if anyone could feel the same way. Perhaps it was a twin thing.

"You're trained in some form of combat, right?" Sulu asked out of the blue as the bridge crew lounged, waiting to arrive at the next star system.

"Mmhmm!" Anya nodded. "Seweral. Archery, boxing, ze same as Pavel." Saying his name felt like a soft punch to the gut. _Be strong for them,_ she reminded herself. _If I can be strong, they can be strong._ In the month following his death, Anya had shocked herself with her strength. When their parents fell to pieces, Anya was there to hold them up. When Pavel's friends flocked to her at his funeral, she'd made them smile instead of cry at his memory. When the crew stared forlornly at Pavel's empty seat, she had filled it with the same cheer and kindness he'd always emitted. Yet now, as people needed her less, she found that she'd given her strength away and kept none for herself.

"I don't think I ever saw him fight anybody," Sulu replied. He thought for a minute, then spoke. "Were you close as kids?"

"We're _tweens!"_ Anya scoffed. "Off course." She paused and debated saying they _were_ twins, but pushed the cruel words from her head. Pavel was and always would be her twin. Here, there, or a million years from now, Pavel would remain a current part of her life. Maybe in a panic she would forget the curve of his nose, but she would _never_ leave him in her past.

"Right. I wasn't sure." Sulu nodded. "You went to Academy at the same time?"

"Yeah," Anya replied. "I remember seeing you in fencing. I took ze training for a brief time before deciding eet was worthless." She realized the insult and bit her lip. "I mean – worthless when I had so many _other_ things to do," she stumbled. She shrugged and grinned. "Sorry."

"You're not the first one to think that," Sulu laughed. "Pavel joked about that all the time." He sat back. "It's nice, you know? There's this huge gaping hole after he died – I mean, I thought about leaving StarFleet. It was too hard seeing his empty seat, then hearing that someone else was being assigned. He was a good kid. Smart. The nicest guy I'll ever meet. I should have known he'd sacrifice himself to save that planet. But it doesn't suck any less."

Anya listened but said nothing. Though she'd rather talk about anything, anyone else, she listened. She'd learned that crew members didn't always want her input – sometimes they just needed her, Pavel's closest genetic copy, to hear.

"I know you're not him. I know. I _know_ ," Sulu quickly added. "You aren't him. But you knew him, too, in a different way. It's – I'm glad you're here. I'm not sure why I don't remember you from academy."

"We always found zat people had enough room in zere memory for one Russian whiz keed, not two. Besides, Pavel always outscored me."

"What?" Sulu exclaimed. "We saw your scores. They're phenomenal! Higher than any we've had come on board in years."

"He only outscored me by half a point." Anya smiled and turned back to the screen before her.

* * *

The next night it was a nightmare that sent Anya screaming from sleep. She woke up and wiped the sleep from her eyes, trying to recall what had been so terrifying to wake her like that. No memory came to mind. Yet whatever it was had shaken her and interrupted her sleep so completely that she knew this was one of those nights that would take eternity to turn to morning.

Grumbling, Anya pulled on a robe and dragged herself down the hall to a break room. She pulled open the door and smiled in spite of her unruly hair and unmade face.

"So we meet again," Captain Kirk greeted her.

"So we do," she replied groggily, pouring herself a mug of coffee and sitting down across from the captain. She sipped and enjoyed the warmth. As her eyes adjusted to the bright fluorescent lights, she looked up at Kirk. "I doubt you're here because of a craving for coffee."

"I don't even like it," Jim confessed. "But there's nothing else to do at," he glanced at his watch and sighed. "Three A.M.."

"I had some dream zat I can't remember now." Anya yawned. Pointing to her mouth, she continued through the yawn, "Don't let zis fool you. I won't sleep ze rest of ze night."

"I have the same nightmare night after night. Sometimes I don't have it, and then I wake up feeling guilty because I didn't." Jim sat down his empty mug and rubbed his face. "Maybe it's not a nightmare. It's a flashback. I relive sending Chekov to his death over and over and over." He looked at Chekova and suddenly wondered if he'd said too much. She looked just as affected as he did, so he considered himself safe. "I know – you said not to blame myself. I can't help it." He looked to the woman before him. She was lovely for both nostalgic and original reasons. She couldn't have looked more like Pavel, but also looked very different. Her eyes were as expressive as his, but deeper. It took a moment before he realized Anya was staring right back at him as he gazed into her eyes.

"Don't worry," she said. "I'm geetting used to eet. Ze crew tries to decide eef I really look like Pavel, or eef zey just think I do." She shrugged. "Actually, our whole lives we have had zat. Of course we aren't identical tweens, but some people wonder."

Jim stood to refill his mug and grabbed Anya's. "I'll top you off."

"Thank you, Captain." She tried to fix her hair but figured it was useless without a mirror and a lot of bobby pins. Letting her hands drop to the table, she sighed.

"Ms. Chekov." Jim set the mug before his new navigator and smiled at her. "I don't think I've ever asked how you are."

"Well, besides being here because I can newer sleep, fine, Captain."

"We're not on the bridge. It's three A.M. and we're having coffee together in our pajamas. Call me Jim." He smiled and felt a warmth in his chest at Anya's giggle. "Really. How are you holding up?"

"I'm here," Anya conceded. "Not emotionally compromised so zat I can't do my job, but emotionally _affected._ "

Jim held up his hands. "Hey. This isn't a trap. I'm not trying to get you reassigned. Losing family is messy. I never even knew my father, but it's something I deal with every day of my life. I can't imagine what it's like for you to lose Chekov – Pavel. You had your entire life so far to get to know him. I didn't have that- nothing in particular to miss about my dad." He reached across the table and covered her hand with his. "You don't have to deal with it alone. We're all coping, too. Not the same way as you are, but we get it."

Anya was completely surprised when huge wet tears flowed down her cheeks in that instant. She hadn't been misty-eyed or choked up, but suddenly a faucet in her body had turned on. She _hated_ crying and looked shamefully to the captain. He watched her with an expression on his face – pity? No, compassion – and said nothing.

Jim released her hand so she could combat the tears. "I'm sure you're tired of hearing the niceties, so I'm going to tell you what I really think. It's what I wish people would have done for me, said to me."

Curious, Anya looked up through her watering eyes.

"This is stupid. It's unfair and it's garbage. Why should a young, good guy have to die? What did _anyone?_ " Jim's nostrils flared and color rose in his cheeks. "It's not what was supposed to happen. It's not his time, it's not his fate. It's bullshit and it pisses me off." He buried his face in his hands for a moment before looking up. "Don't let anyone tell you Chekov's in a better place or that it's better this way. _This_ is his place. This is in no way better than him being alive, right here, trying to convince me this coffee was grown in Russia."

A strangled laugh burst through Anya's silent crying. She sound surprised her and she exchanged a confused look with Jim. The truth in the statement sank in and Anya began laughing again. "Probably ze mug, too," Anya giggled.

"And the paint they put the insignia on there with," Jim added, his anger boiling over into delirious laughter. "It's Russian blue, I bet. Right?"

Anya wiped the tears, now caused by laughter, away. "He was your family too, wasn't he?"

Jim nodded. "Yeah. And I can't believe he's gone."

"I can tell you loff him. All ze things you said – ees exactly how I feel. But no one wants to hear zat from me. Zey need me to be a Chekov." She took a breath and a sip of coffee. "Zat's why I'm here."

"Yeah, that's for sure. If only every solution was that easy. 'Warp core malfunctioned? Sounds like we could use a Chekov.'" Jim grinned. "Tired yet?"

"Unfortunately, no."

"Me either. I guess I didn't expect to be, with the coffee and all." Jim sat for a moment before leaning forward and asking, "Do you play chess?"

Anya's eyes lit up. " _Do I?_ "

Jim smiled widely. "I've got a set in my room. I'll go get it." On his way out the door, he paused and looked back. "We could make this a thing, if we keep meeting like this. The three A.M. chess club."


	5. Panic and Calm

Anya stumbled down the empty hallway in the middle of the night, fearing she'd fall headfirst into the tile. "Please, please, please be here," she chanted through her wheezing. When she flung the break room door open and found Jim inside, Anya dropped to her knees. The tiny amount of relief she felt did little to put a crack in her crushing panic. Instead, her chest tightened enough to make her wonder if she would die there on the floor.

"Anya, what's wrong?" Jim exclaimed, setting down his coffee so quickly it sloshed over the side of the mug. He rushed to her side and looked her over. "I'll call Bones."

"No," she managed. "Ees a panic attack." Her throat seemed to constrict further and she gasped for air. _This is the end._

Jim immediately felt sorry for the girl and rubbed her back as soothingly as he could. "Okay. We'll get through this. I can still get him here if you need," he repeated. "He can help. He's a psychologist, too."

"No," Anya wheezed. Stray tears streaked over her skin as she convulsed in the throes of panic. She'd suffered a few panic attacks in the privacy of her own bedroom in Russia in the immediate days following Pavel's death, but she'd expected that. This one came out of the blue and woke her from a dead sleep. "I just needed somebody. I needed you."

Jim felt something inside him melt at the words. He laced his fingers through her trembling ones. No stranger to his own battles with anxiety and the occasional panic attack, Jim knew what to do. "I'm right here. You're still here." He pressed his other hand against her wrist, feeling for a pulse. "See? Completely normal. You're okay. You're not dying. It's going to pass. I know how you feel. It's scary as hell, but in five or ten minutes you'll be okay. I won't leave." The words came easily to him.

As Anya's entire body shook and waves of confusion and disconnection rolled through her, she held tight to Jim's hand. Through the roiling currents of her mind, Anya tried to remember how she'd gotten here. The only thing she could hear was her own hyperventilating. All she knew was that the panic had jarred her awake and her first thought had been to find Jim. She looked to his face and found reassurance.

He nodded and gave her a small smile. "It's all right. Almost there. Try to take a deep breath. You can do it. Breathe deep from your stomach."

Anya gasped for air and shook her head. "I can't," she panted. "I can't. I can't even _theenk._ It's like my brain is over there." She waved across the room. "I can't theenk."

"Come on. You can." He touched the middle of her abdomen. "Breathe into this spot. Right here. Move my hand with your breath."

Anya panted and squeaked as she tried to breathe normally. After a minute of effort, she felt her stomach move with a deep breath.

"Good," Jim cheered. "There you go. Again. Again. Come on."

Now that the panic was subsiding, Anya took several deep breaths. She wiped the cold sweat from her face and neck. "I'm- I'm sorry," she mumbled. If the panic hadn't caused her to face to turn red, her humiliation surely had. "Zat's so embarrassing, I-"

"No, it's not." Jim helped her to her feet and to the table. "Everything in your life has changed in the course of a month. If you didn't freak out now and then, _then_ I'd be concerned. I'm going to go ahead and say we skip the coffee, huh?" He grinned and squeezed her shoulder.

Anya nodded humorlessly.

"You got through it! Tired?"

"Very," she murmured. Exhaustion replaced the panic, but she was still scared. Though it had never happened, she worried that the panic would return and leave her feeling helpless and dazed once more.

"Have a glass of water first. You'll feel better in the morning," Jim suggested. When Anya looked at him quizzically as he moved to the water cooler, he shrugged. "I know how you feel all too well, unfortunately. I've had panic attacks on and off since I was a kid. They suck. You did great."

Sighing, Anya drank the water in one gulp. "I theenk I could sleep."

Jim stood and offered his hand. "Let's get you back to bed. Come on."

* * *

Once at Anya's doorway, Jim nodded. "Not your first rodeo, huh?"

Anya shook her head. "I had a few of zese right after he died." She punched in her security code before lingering at the door.

"Don't be scared. You're all right now," Jim said softly.

Nodding, Anya replied, "Yeah. I know." She bit her lip and studied his expression. "Would, well, _could you-"_ she trailed off. "Nevermind."

"What is it?" Jim asked.

"Ees nothing. I just thought maybe you could stay here- just een case. Being alone after zese makes it worse." She fidgeted with the hem of her robe. "I- I just don't want to bother Hikaru- his leettle girl is sick and he has been up with her on ze phone all night, I theenk. But don't – nevermind. Zat's not something you ask ze captain of-"

"Anything," Jim replied earnestly. He put a hand on the small of her back and ushered her inside. "I get it. You get some sleep. I'm just gonna get comfortable on the couch. Yell if you need me." He dropped onto the couch and adjusted the throw pillows under his head. He'd definitely had a kink in his neck tomorrow, but at the moment he couldn't care less. Sure, her panic was likely gone for the night, but he remembered the terrorizing thought that it would come back. Staying close was the absolute least he could do for her. _Besides,_ he reminded himself, _she wouldn't be here or feeling_ _this way if your order hadn't gotten her brother killed._ "Sleep well."

"Thank you," Anya said softly as she collapsed into bed. Sleep crept around her quickly, but before she dozed off, she had an epiphany. There, curled in bed in an agonized mess, Anya realized that Pavel had been right. He'd repeatedly vowed to introduce Anya to his captain and take credit for their eventual marriage. Anya had scoffed and called her brother an idiot. Now she saw that perhaps Pavel had known all: James T. Kirk was her kind of man.

On the couch, James T. Kirk lie wide awake, thanking whatever karma force was out there, that he'd decided to set his alarm for the middle of the night in hopes of running into Chekov in the break room at 3 A.M..


	6. Rubbing Elbows

"Captain, I see you've requested a course for the Pollox System," Spock commented the moment Jim strolled onto the bridge and sat down.

"Good morning to you, too. I did," Jim replied. He'd spent the night on Anya Chekova's couch; not for scandalous reasons, but to provide comfort should she wake up in another panic attack. He'd slept lightly, waking every so often to make sure his new navigator was sleeping soundly. Now his back ached and eyelids were heavy. As soon as Anya had stirred, he'd bid her a good morning and left for the gym. Any awkward "morning after" conversations had been avoided and Jim hoped she wouldn't regret coming to him for comfort.

"Why would we go back?" Spock questioned. "There are hostile forces no doubt searching for us. That system is out of our way, and-"

"If there were hostile forces searching for us, they'd be able to track us down with a little determination," Jim interrupted. He squirmed in his chair and mentally cursed Spock for his inability to let things go or pick up on human nonverbal cues.

"This is the system where we foiled the unknown enemy plans to destroy a planet. This is the system where Mr. Chekov was killed." Spock shook his head, confused. "Whyever would we want to go back? The planet is safe thanks to Mr. Chekov's sacrifice."

"Yes, Spock," Jim snarled. "It is. Thank you for that wonderful reminder." He glanced at Anya, who was watching the conversation with interest. "Don't worry about the request until the rest of the week's courses are charted, Chekov."

Anya nodded. "Aye, Keptain." She turned back to her calculations, but not without exchanging glances with Sulu.

"Something's up," he muttered.

"Absolutely," Anya agreed.

"Isn't your name Chekova?" Sulu added.

"Technically," Anya shrugged.

"Jim," Spock tried again.

"Mr. Spock, can I see you in the engineering bay?" Jim stood and strode from the room in frustration. The Vulcan followed. "We're setting course for the Pollox System to make whoever did this to my crew pay."

Spock didn't try to hide his disapproval. "Captain, I believe you're acting on emotional-"

"Yeah, I am. Don't you think we should find whoever did this? There are murderers out there running free. Yes, I want revenge for Chekov's death. Absolutely. But what if they go to another system, decide they need to retest their weapon, and blow up another planet? You of all people should know how that feels."

Spock stared at Jim for a moment before bowing his head. "I understand completely."

"Let your human side out once in a while. I understand those aren't our orders, but if we _happen_ to come across whoever did this, we should probably take them out." Jim clapped Spock on the shoulder. "Good talk. I'm glad you're on board." He turned back for the bridge.

"Jim," Spock called after him. "Anya Chekova doesn't have anything to do with this decision, does she?"

Jim stopped and closed his eyes. "No, Mr. Spock, she does not. She makes the decision to go back after these assholes harder, if anything. But it's the right thing for Mr. Chekov. For the safety of everyone. But mostly for Chekov."

* * *

After their shift Sulu and Anya headed to the bar. Though it was nearly 9 P.M. and Anya was exhausted from her lack of sleep the night before, she craved human interaction more than a long, lonely night alone.

"Thanks for hanging out with me," Anya said gratefully as the bartender slid a scotch to her. "It's like people are afraid of me."

"Nah. They just don't know what to make of you yet," Sulu answered. "Besides, my family's sleeping at this hour, anyway. We video call every morning, so don't go inviting me to breakfast. I'd hate to disappoint you."

"Zat must be hard," Anya sighed. "Don't you miss zem?"

"Of course," Sulu snorted. "Sometimes I feel guilty for being here and not with them. But if I left, I'd feel guilty for not being here."

Anya nodded. "Parenting is a wenture I could not stomach."

Sulu laughed. "A wise choice for a StarFleet member. An off-ship marriage is just as hard."

"What does he do?"

"Stays home with Demora." Sulu smiled. "The pay here is more than enough. I keep a few bucks, then send the rest home."

"That's a big sacrifice. You're a good man." Anya rose her glass to him playfully and took a sip.

"Toasting Mr. Sulu?" a voice from behind them came. "I didn't think your birthday was until March, right?"

"Captain Kirk," Sulu said seriously, straightening up.

"Ah, come on. Cut it out. We're in the bar. It's Jim at the bar. Hell, it's Jim on the bridge." He sat down next to Anya and motioned to the bartender. "The usual, Sam."

"Jim," Sulu repeated stiffly. "Right." He took a drink and squirmed in his seat uncomfortably.

"We don't hang out much, do we?" Jim chuckled. "Lighten up. We're all friends."

A pinging stopped the awkward conversation. Sulu looked down at his communicator in concern. "It's home. I've gotta take this. Sorry, Captain – er, Jim," he corrected himself.

"Oh, no. Is everything okay?" Jim asked.

"Yeah. Demora has the flu and hasn't been able to sleep. I told her she could call me any time and I'd answer if I could." Sulu waved as he headed out the door, his communicator to his ear.

"Was that real, or did you guys employ the emergency 'quick, someone call me because the captain is here' thing?" Jim raised an eyebrow. Though he tried to seem unaffected, he hoped it wasn't an act. The coldness some of his crew members showed him simply for being in charge wore on him.

"I didn't call heem," Anya shrugged, then laughed. "You may be ze captain, but is ze crew really afraid of you? You don't seem zat scary." She nudged him and smirked. "Especially in your pajamas. Thank you for last night, by the way."

"Think nothing of it. And I can be pretty scary. You haven't seen me on a bad day." Jim sipped his drink. "I've had my moments. Nearly lost my mind thanks to a space sickness. All a part of the job, I guess. No one wants to hang out with the boss. I get it. I wouldn't either!" He finished his drink and waggled a finger at the bartender. "Thanks for not coming on board and avoiding me."

"Well, I could say ze same theeng to you," Anya replied. She signaled for another drink, too. "I had a lot of thoughts when I got my papers for ze Enterprise, but I didn't theenk I'd be hanging out with ze legendary Keptain Kirk on a daily, nightly, hourly basis."

"Legendary?" Jim snorted. "Come on. You've got the job. You don't have to butter me up."

"Anya Chekova doesn't butter any man up." She raised an eyebrow. "Sorry to disappoint." She turned back to the bar just in time to knock her new drink over and into her lap. "Oh, derrmo," she hissed.

"Here, here," Jim said, quickly handing her a pile of napkins to dry herself.

"Thanks," Anya mumbled. "Ugh – I guess zat's a night for me." She couldn't help but notice when Jim's face fell. "Again, not on purpose. Eef I wanted to leaff you hanging at ze bar, I would just say so." She giggled. "Sorry. Maybe we'll grab dinner after work tomorrow?"

"I-" Jim stopped and thought. _Was spending this much time with a new crew member wise? What if she decides I'm overbearing? Annoying? Seeing her out of pity for Pavel's death?_ That brought up a whole new train of thought. _What would Pavel say? This is his sister. You can't get involved with a dead crew mate's sister. But she does need someone who gets what she's going through._ He thought himself in rapid circles.

Anya cleared her throat and waved a hand in front of his face. "Hello? Dinner?"

Jim looked up. "Yeah, yeah, sorry! Just trying to remember my schedule. Yeah, let's do dinner. Tomorrow? Yeah, okay."

Anya nodded. "I didn't mean to burden you with such a serious decision." She nudged him. "Okay, I'm going to change into something dry. Good night, Keptain."

"I'll see you in about four hours for coffee and chess," Jim called. The way she paused made him immediately regret the comment. _Way to be creepy, Jim,_ he chided himself.

Anya smiled to herself, then paused at the door. "I hope not, but I guess zat wouldn't be so bad." As she strolled back to her apartment, she didn't dread the night, but instead, looked forward to the morning.


	7. Something There

Spock and Uhura were seated at a large empty table in the Enterprise bar, drinks before them and menus in hand. The bar, a less popular dining option than the cafeteria, was empty except for them. As two newcomers strolled in, Uhura nudged Spock under the table. "Look." Her eyebrow raised, as did her boyfriend's.

Captain Kirk and Commander Chekova had strolled in. Neither of them seemed to notice their surroundings as they chattered animatedly. Anya swatted Jim's arm playfully and he held his hands up as if defending whatever he'd just said.

"I _knew it,_ " Uhura whispered.

"If you're referring to your assumption that Jim and Commander Chekova are engaging in a romantic relationship, I will give you my judgment after observing their interaction off the clock." Spock turned his attention to them. "Hello, Jim," Spock greeted him as they pair passed.

A look of surprise passed the captain's face. "Spock," Jim nodded after a moment. "Hey." He tried to ignore the suspicious look his first mate was giving him. He cleared his throat and grinned. "Fancy seeing you here, huh?"

"Hello, Anya," Uhura sang out. She smiled at the sight of them together. "This looks like a date."

"Just deenner," Anya replied breezily.

Jim's face fell, but he quickly tried to reconfigure his face into its usual smirk. The gut reaction surprised him. _Is this a date?_

Anya hadn't noticed. "Zis ees a big table for ze two of you – are you expecting more? Can we join you?" She turned back to the captain. "You don't mind, do you, Keptain?"

"Of course not," Jim replied, dropping into the chair next to Spock. "Who all's coming?"

"Mr. Scott, Jaylah, Dr. McCoy, Mr. Sulu-" Spock listed off.

"So everyone," Kirk interrupted. He rubbed his hands together. "Great!" He turned to Anya. "You've worked with the bridge crew, but you've never hung out off the clock. Strap in. You're in for a good time." Her smile made him forget his disappointment that their date had now been subjected to the scrutiny of the entire bridge crew.

* * *

Though night pressed on and drinks hit the table, Jim couldn't shake his nerves. The bridge crew plus Dr. McCoy had gathered around the table and shared plates of food and pitchers of drink. Conversation had flowed easily for everyone but the captain. Jim watched, entirely pleased that the lingering air of awkwardness the crew held toward Anya seemed to dissipate. Yet when he tried to speak to her, his words came out sounding dumb. Finally, he decided to just observe. _When did this happen?_ Jim asked himself. Beside him, Anya was alluring and charming. The first time Jim had seen her, he'd hated her face, cringed at her accent. Now he hung on her words and unintentionally memorized the curve of her face. It was a miracle she only turned and caught him watching her twice.

"We haven't done this in a while," Scotty brought up over his Scotch. He nodded to Jaylah. "Remember the last time we were out? When Sulu fell off the bar stool and nearly broke his ass?"

Everyone laughed and began interrupting each other with recollections from their last gathering. Stories of broken pitchers, thrown insults, and Keenser dancing on the table.

Jaylah giggled. "Yes! And you try to fight James T.."

"He called the Enterprise a bucket of nails!" Scotty huffed indignantly. "She is a beauty, nae a _bucket._ "

"I was joking! Anyway, I'd have put you on the floor," Jim replied.

"You didn't end up fighting, though," Uhura said, narrowing her eyes in concentration. "What happened? I can't remember."

"I believe they did fight. Perhaps that was a different evening," Spock pondered.

Bones sighed and tapped his glass down with a hard _clink_. Everyone watched him expectantly. "Chekov jumped between them and demanded that if they were going to fight, they have that stupid dance-off instead." He frowned.

Some laughed while others looked forlornly down at their drinks.

"I haff never heard zat story," Anya chimed in cheerfully. "Did zey dance?" She looked to Jim in delight. "You danced?"

Sulu grinned and nodded. "They sure tried to."

"That's somethin' I didn' think I'd have to ever think of again," Scotty groaned.

Beside him, Keenser was snickering.

"Shut up," Scotty growled.

"While these gatherings are still pleasant social engagements, they lack a certain enthusiasm without Mr. Chekov in attendance," Spock commented before draining his drink.

"Yeah," Uhura replied sadly.

"To Mr. Chekov," Jim toasted, raising his glass high. "One of the best among us – a better crew member and a better man than most."

"The sweetest man I've ever met," Uhura added.

"A good lad," Scott nodded.

"My eediot brother," Anya added to the group's delight.

"To Mr. Chekov," Jim repeated before raising his glass higher.

Anya rose her glass high, cheered with the rest of the crew, then enjoyed the burn as she finished the drink.

* * *

Anya leaned against her door and sighed happily.

Jim let his forearm rest against the cold steel of Anya's door and leaned so that his forehead was also pressed against it. "That was fun." He turned his head and grinned at Anya. "Did you have fun?"

"Mmhmm," Anya hummed. She giggled and blew hair out of her face. "Tomorrow ees going to be a _long_ day." Her back slid down the door and she landed softly on her butt.

Jim laughed and followed suit. He watched the features of Anya's face tug upward as she giggled. The corners of her eyes crinkled and her nose wrinkled.

"Okay, okay, help me up," Anya panted through her snorts. She glanced at her wrist communicator. "Ees three o'clock! Aye, yi!"

Jim clambered to his feel and offered a hand to the navigator. "Well, we're right on schedule. How about chess?"

Anya laughed and took his hand. As she did, she stumbled into Jim. He dared to suspect she did it on purpose, but gave her the benefit of the doubt. "Oops," he chuckled, stepping back and finding himself back against the door.

"Oops," Anya repeated. She brushed her bangs back from her face and wet her lips. "Sorry, Keptain."

"Captain?" Jim asked. "Come on."

"Aye, _Jim_ ," she breathed, pronouncing the 'J' with an accent as she inched closer to him.

When her hands found his hips, he squirmed. "Hey." She brushed her lips against his, giving him further hesitation. "Anya. Anya. Hey." He been on the delivering end of these advances, but never on the receiving end. Suddenly he regretted a dozen encounters just that year.

"Hmm?" She batted her eyes, then let them drop closed with a content sigh.

"I think you need to go to bed." Jim quickly ducked out of Anya's grasp and dialed in her security code, which she'd given him during one of their 3AM Chess Club sessions. He spilled into her room and ushered her in. He'd again made the fatal flaw of assuming Anya was a perfect copy of Pavel. He could drink anyone under the table, then turn around and flawlessly calculate a warp path. Anya drank a comparative amount, but seemed like she wouldn't be able to even brush her teeth.

"Come with me," Anya whispered seductively, snaking an arm around his waist and pulling him toward the bed.

"Hey, no, no, no," Jim exclaimed, pulling away. He _definitely_ couldn't let her kiss him in that state. His skin crawled at the thought that she'd awake the next morning feeling taken advantage of. "Let's take off your boots."

Anya surrendered and flopped onto the couch. "Okay, Keptain." Her head dropped backward onto the pillows as she offered her foot.

Jim chuckled and blinked through his own alcohol-induced haze at the series of buckles, zippers, and laces on the boot. "Anya." He looked up and found she'd already dozed off. Grinning, he pulled her boots off, removed her jewelry, then easily lifted her into bed. "Good night, Chekov."


	8. Bomb

Everyone's nerves were frayed and then some. They'd arrived at the Pollox System. A distress call had come in almost immediately: a small device with a digital display was ticking. _Ticking_ , Jim thought humorlessly to himself. _It's like a cartoon._ The sheer silliness of a bomb ticking on a planet where another bomb had been rigged to brutally murder his navigator was offensively obvious. His usually calm gut was roiling and pulling itself into an anxious coil. Jim swallowed down the sour burn of stomach acid and closed his eyes for a moment.

"Two minutes to the planet," Sulu announced solemnly.

"You're with me then, lassie," Scotty announced, tossing a pack to Anya. He already had his bag slung over his shoulder. For this mission, the chief engineer and the most skilled scientist – Anya – were assigned to disarm or detonate the bomb. Neither crew member seemed overly nervous about the task. They certainly weren't excited about it, on the other hand.

Anya had already swung the pack onto her shoulders when Jim shook his head. "No. Absolutely not."

"Why not?" Lt. Uhura asked. "She's the most qualified. She's-"

"She's not going," Jim repeated. "Someone else."

"Keptain," Anya said softly, holding fast to the pack. She looked to Scotty to guidance, but he shrugged.

"Sulu, suit up." Jim nodded to Hikaru. "You've got this, right?"

"Sure, Captain. As long as Mr. Scott will be doing the actual disarming," Sulu replied, reaching for the bag.

Anya didn't surrender it. "No, Keptain, I should really-"

Jim felt his nostrils flare. "Just give it to him. You're off the mission."

Spock stepped forward to weigh in. "Captain, with Commander Chekova's knowledge of-"

"I don't care if it's logical," Jim snapped. He could feel the emotions swirl in the room. Apprehension. Anger. Heartbreak. Emptiness. Anxiety. At the moment, mostly confusion from the crew. "Sulu, you're with Scotty. That's an order."

Uhura scowled. "Why doesn't Lieutenant Chekova get to go? I have full faith in her. It's the navigator's job to assist the engineers in the case of-"

"I got my last navigator killed!" Jim roared. "I'm not going to risk it again." He realized he'd leaped from the chair and sat back down slowly.

"So you're going to risk Mr. Sulu? She isn't worth risking, but he is?" Uhura snapped right back, her long arm extending to her index finger, which accusingly jabbed toward Anya.

"That's not – I'm not -" Anya stumbled. Her eyes were wide as she watched the argument unfold and roll ahead about her but without her.

Jim turned and stalked slowly toward Uhura. "Her brother just died on this exact mission. You want me to send her on an identical job _?_ Don't you remember Chekov? He's gone because of something I sent him to do!" Jim's voice was dangerously calm, but he felt his blood pressure rising rapidly. If there was ever a time to have this long-coming break down, this way it. For a split second, he tried to push the emotion back down, but it bubbled over immediately. "He was ready. He was prepared. He was the smartest kid I've ever known."

Uhura sat back down, her eyes focused on the floor.

Jim could have stopped there. _Be Captain Kirk,_ he tried to convince himself _. Not Jim._ Yet the faucet to the feelings he'd been harboring had been turned to gushing. "For all I know, Chekov saw the self-destruct device and decided to save them anyway. I told him to come back and he didn't. He disobeyed orders, stayed there, and saved that planet. Millions owe their lives to him. But he's dead. If I had sent someone else, maybe he'd still be here and the crew wouldn't be tip-toeing around, waiting to rip off the band-aid because no one will say his name."

Sniffling and sobbing broke the silence. Nyota was openly crying. Jim's lip twitched and tears threatened to fall. He hadn't meant to make her cry. She'd mothered Pavel since he'd first come on board and Jim had forgotten that. She, nearly ten years Pavel's senior, had taken him under her wing when he came aboard the Enterprise. His death had affected them all, but Nyota seemed to feel it as sharply as the day it happened.

"Now we get the same distress call from the same planet. Should I send Lieutenant Chekova, the most capable one to assist Mr. Scott, to repeat the same scenario, knowing she'll likely have the same reactions and sympathies as Chekov? Maybe. Anya has the skills to do this job and more physics know-how than anyone on this ship. But maybe something goes wrong – maybe she chooses to sacrifice herself too. After all, she and Mr. Chekov are made of the same genetic material. I can't visit her parents again. I will _not_ tell them I got both of their children killed." Jim's face was bright red.

Out of words, Jim glanced around the bridge. Uhura was wiping at tears. Anya and Sulu were sitting at their stations, both awkwardly fidgeting. Spock stood motionless as Scotty's mouth opened and closed wordlessly.

"I'm sorry," Jim finished lamely. "I'm sorry."

Anya realized she'd been holding her breath. Afraid to be the first one to move, she glanced at Sulu for a cue. Despite his experience, he seemed to be doing the same to her.

"Someone has to go," Scotty broke the silence. "There's a countdown on that device, Captain."

"I'm going," Anya said. The words surprised her even as they left her lips.

Jim blinked at her in disbelief. "Didn't you hear anything-"

"I'm sorry, Keptain. Zis is my job. I didn't come on board to be coddled and treated like a little sister. Zat was Pavel's job, not yours." She hoisted the pack and joined Scotty. "Let's go. Hurry!"

Jim didn't stop her as she hurried past him. He sat back in his chair and tipped back his head. "Shit."

* * *

Scotty and Anya crept through the fields in silence for some time, following their tablets for directions to the device.

"Where were you stationed before the Enterprise, lassie?" Scotty finally asked.

"Ze Academy," Anya replied.

"I thought you were transferred here from another post?" Scotty corrected himself.

"Ze Academy," Anya repeated. "I was an instructor."

Scotty stopped and stared at the girl. "Instructor?" He quickly tried to recall Pavel's age. He and therefore Anya should technically have still been in the Academy. Students their age were studying for exams, not writing them.

"Aye. Pavel and I scored so high on our physics and math exams, zey wanted him to teach one and I take ze other. He always wanted to fly, so I took ze post and taught both. When he died, zey said ze Enterprise needed someone of my aptitude so zey transferred me from ze Academy to ze ship." She smiled. "You didn't know?"

"No," Scotty snorted. "Jim never said anything about that." He nodded, impressed.

"It's not wery interesting," Anya shrugged. "Not compared to ze daily happenings of a starship. Did you hear someone brought _ferrets_ on board?"

"You're a certified genius and you still get excited by those little buggers?"

Anya rolled her eyes. "Zey don't have ferrets in Russia."

"But twin geniuses are a normal thing?" Scotty grinned. "Sorry about the captain back there. Pavel dying messed everyone up big time, especially the captain. For a while there he was wandering the halls all night. Never slept."

Anya kept quiet and didn't betray the fact that Jim still did.

"They're all dealing with it in their own ways," Scotty continued. He frowned. "I guess I've been clinign' to the memories, myself. If you remember enough of the good times, it'll push the bad away. Nyota, though. She loved Pavel. Not like hooking up in the back hallway thing, but she looked after him. She'd bring him treats if he had to work double shifts, call off her own shift if he was sick so she could baby him all day. Nyota liked taking care of someone and Mr. Spock wouldn't tolerate any of it." He laughed. "And of course being the only wee lad on the ship, he of course loved all the attention from her. Made him feel like a part of the big kids crew at first, I think."

Anya smiled. "I could see zat. I can't believe we were only sewenteen when he came here and I started lecturing."

"You ever feel like you missed out on bein' a kid?"

Anya laughed but realized Scotty was looking at her with pity. "No, no," she quickly answered. "We had a great childhood. We studied hard but we played hard."

"That sounds like the Pavel I knew," Scotty grinned. "We wondered if you were going to be much like him or a complete opposite. Seems like those are the only two options for twins, aye?"

"We've heard that before, too," Anya laughed. "No, we're fairly similar." She took a breath of fresh air and wondered if she was enjoying herself too much. After all, she reminded herself, this was the same kind of mission Pavel died on. Yet the bright blue sky and familiar grasses reminded her of Earth and she couldn't help but smile. A beep caught her attention. "We're getting close to ze bomb," Anya said, looking down at her tablet. "Zere it is." She stomped through the tall grass and pushed it aside, revealing a large mechanical box. "Zis is eet?"

"Pah," Scotty scoffed. "Primitive."

The adrenaline Anya thought she'd experience never kicked in. She watched patiently as Scotty removed a panel and clipped a few different wires. The bomb didn't detonate and it didn't self-destruct. The lights blinked off uneventfully.

"Zat was easy," Anya replied cheerfully. "Chekova to Enterprise. Ze bomb is disarmed."

"Thank God," Kirk replied in relief. "Mr. Scott – do what you need to do to make sure that thing can't be rearmed then get back here."

"Aye, Sir," Scott barked into his communicator. "Thanks for bein' so cheerful an' all," he said as he sat cross-legged next to the bomb and began haphazardly ripping pieces out. "I couldn' help but wonder if this baby was armed to detonate after the fact." Scotty wiped sweat from his forehead and sat back. "I'll just take some of these bits and pieces back with me and this thing will never blow. This star system won't best the Enterprise crew, no, siree!"

Anya closed her eyes and took another deep breath, wondering if her strange calm was Pavel letting her know she was in good hands with the crew of the Enterprise. When a strong breeze flopped her braid over her shoulder, she nearly gasped. Pavel had always tugged her hair to bring her out of deep thought. "I'm glad you're okay," she sighed in relief.

"I'm glad you're okay, too, lassie," Scott replied.

 _The ferrets are a nod to my current fanfic obsession – Sanguine by DayDreamer0083. Read it for the best time of your life! (I'm not done yet – so no spoilers. (: )_


	9. Sick

Anya's discomfort was palpable. Her pale skin was glistening with sweat. Dark circles looked like bruises under her eyes. Bright red flecks dotted her skin.

"Jesus," Jim mumbled, perching on the edge of a chair next to her bed in the Med Bay. He'd hurried to see her as soon as Sulu had sought him out. Apparently Anya had collapsed at dinner and gone further downhill from there.

"You're wasting your time, Jim," Bones called from across the med bay. "She's been out all day."

"I thought you said she just had a bug?" Jim winced as Anya groaned and stretched before thrashing into a different position.

Bones walked over, checked the monitor near her bed, and nodded. "Yeah. She was on the away team with Scotty. She was out there for a pretty long time. Of course she picked something up. Don't you remember your first space bug?" He rolled his eyes.

"You _gave_ it to me," Jim complained.

Bones laughed. "It's just a wonder it took her this long to get sick. Usually those going through grief are more susceptible to illness."

Jim turned back to his navigator. Her skin was so pale it was nearly translucent. Her lips were as purple as her eyelids. Jim knew he should stop staring at her face, lest it become burned into his memory. "She looks like shit."

"That's no way to speak to a lady, Captain," a feminine voice came.

Jim turned and lifted a hand in greeting. "Dr. Greenberg."

The doctor smiled and turned back to her work.

"You might as well head out. She won't be coming around for a while. Her fever hasn't broken yet. Looks like it's still around 101. You don't _want_ to wake her. These bugs ravage the body and I'd rather she slept instead of vomited all over my floor." Bones stripped off his gloves and crossed his arms over his chest. "Don't you ever work?"

Jim pushed a stray curl from Anya's face then drew his hand back quickly when she stirred.

"Gde ya?" her raspy voice came.

"You just had to do that, didn't you?" Bones growled. "What'd she say?"

"I didn't _do_ anything," Jim said. "And I don't know." He leaned in. "Anya. Hey."

"Zharko," she moaned.

"That – that isn't English," Jim announced. He looked back to Bones. "It must be Russian."

"Thank God you're here to tell us that," Bones scoffed. "Out of the way." He flicked a flashlight across Anya's face. "Hey. You in there, kid?"

"Mogu li ya uvidet Pavel?" she mumbled into the pillow.

"Dr. Greenberg," Bones called softly. "We could use your skills." He grimaced at Jim, who shook his head in confusion.

The blonde doctor stiffened over her supply cart but didn't turn around. "She said she wants to see Pavel."

"Dr. Greenberg –? You speak Russian?" Jim gaped. He immediately regretted the question and regretted not knowing his crew members even more.

"Jesus, Jim. Come on. Cat was with Chekov for years." Bones glared as he hissed the words. "Don't go there. Of course she speaks Russian. Enough to get by, at least."

Jim nodded and sat back, wondering how he'd forgotten Chekov had a girlfriend on board. He watched carefully as Cat stood anxiously at Anya's bedside. He frowned at her body language. _How could I have forgotten her? I ordered counseling and psych evals for the entire bridge crew, but not Chekov's girlfriend. Way to go, Captain._ He rubbed at his eyes and convinced himself it was the bright lights making him tear up.

The usually unshakeable young doctor was biting her lip and staring at her hands. It'd been some time since Jim had really looked at her- he'd made a point to _stop_ when Pavel had announced he was dating her – but now he realized the stark differences. Her long hair was usually braided in intricate designs and bright red lipstick had always punctuated her pale face. Yet now her hair was tied back in a messy pony-tail and the signature red lips were absent. She looked both tired and sad – a look he'd seen in the mirror following sleepness nights. Jim tried to remember if he'd _ever_ seen Dr. Greenberg look so solemn, but nothing came to mind. Cat and Pavel had always been telling stories and jokes to each other and everyone around them. Now her essential joie de vivre was gone. Like her boyfriend.

"Are you all right, Dr. Greenberg?" Jim asked. "Not just right now. You know. Are you okay?"

"Yes, Captain," she mumbled.

Bones glared at Jim again and mouthed "Leave it."

Cat leaned over Anya and frowned. "Kak vy sebya chustvuyete?" Dr. Greenberg asked in Russian.

"Ya v'ogne," Anya moaned. "Gde – gde Pavel?"

Straightening up, Cat cleared her throat. "The fever needs to burn out," she announced to the room after a moment. "She's confused. She'll be fine." She turned away.

"Cat, please," Bones called after her. "Is she hallucinating? Seeing Chekov? I need to know what I'm dealing with."

Cat turned back to the bed, her lip quivering. "Leo. I can't. You have to treat her."

He frowned. "You've dealt with worse. We both have. I need to know what she's saying."

Jim pressed his knuckles into his eyes even harder. _No. No. No._

"No," Cat whispered. "She looks – she's just like-"

"Pomogi mne," Anya groaned, reaching out in front of her. "Tak zharko. Ya umirayu."

"I know," Bones agreed as Cat's face contorted in sorrow. "I know. And the Russian? Come on. Insult to injury. I know. I don't know how to help her because she's out of her mind right now and doesn't even _know_ she's not speaking English. She's his sister. I know you aren't going to leave her."

Jim sat back and tried to measure what made him feel worse in that exact moment: Anya's obvious pain, or Cat's agony at treating someone who looked and sounded like her dead lover.

Cat steeled herself. She nodded and leaned over Anya's bed, speaking Russian and struggling to interpret Anya's groaned responses. "I think the infection may have moved to her blood," Dr. Greenberg said with a frown. "She's hot and says it feels like fire in her arms."

Anya's monitor began beeping and flashing numbers Jim didn't understand.

"Well shit," Bones growled. "You've gotta get out of here, Jim." He didn't wait for Jim to move when he leapt for Anya's bed. Jim jumped out of the way as the doctors began pressing buttons on the machinery, flicking lights across Anya's face, and rapidly checking her vitals.

"Is she going to be okay?" he asked as he walked backward toward the door. "You said she was just sick, right?"

"Out," Bones barked.

Before Jim left, he saw a determined scowl on Cat's face and swore he heard her murmur, "I'll save her, Pavel."

* * *

Jim was relieved to see Dr. Greenberg in the hallway later that evening. "Is she all right?" he blurted although she was more than ten paces away.

Dr. Greenberg nodded. "We had a little episode there, but she's stable. Full recovery should be complete by Saturday."

"Good," Jim wheezed in relief. "That'd be a shitty way to go. Made it off the planet that killed her brother only to be taken out by a virus? Worst."

Cat smiled glumly. "Sorry you had to see my poor performance, Captain. I must confess I became emotionally compromised in that situation, but please understand that it has not happened with any other patients. My care hasn't been-"

"No, no, no," Jim quickly interrupted her. "This isn't about that. I just wanted to say thank you. I had no idea you spoke Russian."

Anya nodded. "When Pavel got knocked over the rail in engineering and hit his head, do you remember? He had a concussion. He'd wake up and forget English for a few minutes every morning for a few weeks. I figured I'd just learn it." She smiled and shrugged. "Never thought I'd have to speak it again. I'd hoped she would stay healthy and out of my bay. I _initially_ hoped he'd be the one who introduced me. I'm not sure how, but I never met Anya at Academy. Once Pavel died, I never wanted to meet her. It seemed like it'd bastardize my memories of him. It's not that I'd forget his voice or face, but hearing and seeing something so similar, but so wrong, scared me."

Jim nodded. "I get it. I wanted to avoid her, too. But she was on the bridge in front of me every day and I had to just face it. Face her. It sucked. It was hard. The accent. The hair. The face. The can-do attitude. That essential _Chekov._ "

"I know they aren't identical twins," Dr. Greenberg commented over their footsteps, "but they look so similar it's like they could have been. How is she holding up?"

"She's doing all right," Jim nodded. "Maybe even better than some of us." He sighed and gave a moment of thought to the bridge crew. "It's nice having her here. But she isn't him. She's not a replacement."

"No," Cat replied quickly.

"But it's good to have her." Jim looked up at Cat and was pleased to see her smiling. "Those Chekovs have a way of getting under your skin." _What?_ He bit his tongue and wondered if he'd said too much.

Cat smiled suddenly. The genuine grin lit up her face. "They certainly do, Captain."

"Oh, I-" Jim stuttered. "Wait." He chuckled, then shook his head. "I, uh-"

"This is me," Cat smirked as she stopped at her cabin. "I'm sure I'll see you in the Med Bay tomorrow, Captain. Good night."


	10. Bedroom

The navigator on the bridge was doing fine. _Or might do fine, if Anya hadn't worked so far ahead on the calculations,_ Jim thought dismissively. The bug-eyed fill-in was twiddling his thumbs and making sure nothing out of the ordinary happened. Next to him, the fill-in pilot was doing the same. Chekova and Sulu were off for a few days- the pilot had volunteered to see after his navigator and ensure she returned to full health after a nasty space bug.

Jim tapped his foot. He stretched. He tried to make small-talk, but the fill-ins who didn't usually work on his shift were anxiously trying not to mess up or get demoted for saying the wrong thing. They were cruising on to a relatively nearby star system to check in on Federation matters Jim couldn't care less about. There was nothing but time to fill for the next few days. Finally, Jim stood up. "I think I'm going to take a quick ten. Promise you'll calm down by the time I get back. This party is getting a little out of hand," he ordered sarcastically.

The pilot and navigator squirmed uncomfortably.

"Mr. Spock, you've got the conn."

"Captain," Nyota chimed.

"Lieutenant?" Jim replied. He raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"If I may speak with you in private," Uhura suggested.

"Well, it just so happens I'm taking a ten. Come on. Let's walk and talk." He strolled out into the hallway, Nyota on his heels.

As soon as they were out of earshot, she spoke up. "Whatever you're doing with her, _stop._ She's in a vulnerable place. You're taking advantage of her."

"If you're referring to Commander Chekov-"

"Chekova," Nyota corrected in annoyance.

"Yeah, yeah, I know."

She crossed her arms over her chest and scowled. "And you _know_ I mean her. I know how you are! I don't think it's right for you to be-"

"You know what," Jim interrupted, "we don't even need to be having this conversation."

"Yes, we _do,_ " Nyota urged. "If I need to remind you about that time at Academy-"

"No, I don't need reminding," Jim groaned. "Listen-"

"No! You apparently _do_ need reminding because you're doing it again, but with a girl who-"

"I'm not going to-"

"But you already are," Nyota snarled.

"It's different this time!" Jim burst.

The lieutenant stepped back and tried to conceal a brief flash of a smile. "What do you mean 'different?'"

Jim put his hands on his hips defensively and huffed. "Why am I answering to you about this?"

"Because someone has to look out for her. She's new to the crew. She's Pavel's sister. I know how you are. She's a fellow woman on this ship. I owe it to her to watch her back for a dozen different reasons." Nyota's raised an eyebrow, silently daring him to challenge her.

Jim rubbed his face.

The questioning continued. "What do you mean 'it's different?'"

The captain glanced around the hall before shushing her. "Okay, _okay._ I don't know. It's different. It just is. Just trust me." Jim sighed and regarded the look on Nyota's face. He'd seen her give that motherly look to Pavel a thousand times. She knew that despite her high level of concern, he was going to make his own choice that very well may disappoint her – and she had to stand by and let it happen.

"Stop it," Jim mumbled. "Don't look at me like that."

"Anya Chekova is strong and smart and so many things like Pavel was," Nyota explained softly, "but you breaking her heard could be the straw that broke the camel's back."

Jim nodded solemnly. "You have no many times how that thought crossed my mind."

* * *

Sulu snarled. "Is this a Russian thing or a Chekov thing?"

Anya looked up. "Hmm?" She and Hikaru were sprawled across his bed, an overabundance of blankets nearly drowning them. Even though they spent all of their working hours less than a yard apart, Anya and Sulu found joy and comfort in each other's company even off the clock. She'd been released from the Med Bay Saturday morning following a rough space bug. Sulu vowed to Bones that he'd make sure the navigator drank plenty of fluids and rested. He also used the promise as an excuse to do the same. To the unfamiliar eye, their afternoon may look romantic, but Hikaru and Anya had an unspoken understanding that cuddling was perfectly acceptable for several platonic reasons.

They'd been watching a movie in Hikaru's cabin when he'd reached over and clapped a hand on her foot. "You jiggle constantly."

Sure enough, her feet were both bobbing back and forth spasmodically. "Oops," Anya replied. "Zat's a Chekov thing."

"I thought so. Pavel did it all the time. Couldn't sit still for a minute. His bed was bunked over my desk and he'd drive me crazy while I tried to study."

"Wait!" Anya gasped. "You were roommates at Academy?" She dove into her memory bank. No images of the pilot came to mind.

"Yeah. Don't worry – I can't remember meeting you, either." Hikaru grinned. "Pavel talked about having a twin, so I knew you existed. But he never introduced me to anyone. The only people he ever had in the room were cadets he was tutoring. Or _tutoring,_ if you know what I mean." He winked.

Anya giggled. "I'm sure there were plenty of both."

"I'm not sure he had a ton of friends at school, now that I think of it. He didn't leave the room much. It was either tutoring, classes, or studying at his desk." He rubbed his chin in thought, then continued. "We hung out a lot, though. Ate every meal together. Talked before we went to bed. Walked to classes together."

"No wonder he talked about you so much. Pavel got close to very few people, but I think you were his best friend." Anya smiled.

"You're different, in that aspect. You're more outgoing. I don't think Pavel would have jumped in my bed after two months." He snickered.

Anya squealed in laughter. "Stop! It's too soon to joke about you taking my late brother to bed."

Hikaru wrinkled his nose and laughed. "He'd have thought it was hilarious." Suddenly his face fell and he sighed. "I miss that kid." He sniffled and squeezed his eyes shut. "Sorry," he hastily muttered.

"Don't." Anya stated plainly. "Why would you be sorry? I love hearing zat people had good times with him. Don't try to make _me_ feel better. You loved him, too."

Nestling deeper into the blankets, he nodded. "Yeah. We all did. He was the first person I told I was gay. The look on his face was perfect. I felt like I owed it to him – he should know that I might be bringing a guy back to the room. Seemed like he should have a heads up. It was his first time away from home, and he was so quiet and naive, I didn't know. So I told him. But Pavel sat there staring at me, waiting for the rest of the story. I told him, 'That's it. I'm gay.' He said 'okay,' shrugged, and went back to studying." A smile tugged at his lips as tears pooled in his eyes.

"Sounds just like him," Anya smiled.

"He's in every important milestone in my life. At the time, we laughed about it. He called himself my work husband. He was straight," Sulu added quickly.

Anya shrugged.

"He was there at graduation. He was my best man. He's Demura's godfather. We even got promoted to the bridge at the same time." A deep sorrow manifested on the long, handsome face of the pilot. "But I wasn't there when he-" he trailed off.

"Believe me – he would rather go alone a thousand times than take anyone with him." Anya fought back tears. "You couldn't have changed anything. Pavel loved you." She rolled over and cuddled against him. With her forehead tucked under his chin, she hoped Hikaru was getting at least half of the comfort she was. For the first time since Pavel's death, she was crying for someone other than her brother. These tears were for Hikaru and _his_ loss.


	11. Meeting

The irritation in Sulu's voice gave away who was at the other end of his communicator call. Jim chuckled to himself as he imaged the questions Bones was peppering rapid-fire.

"Yes, it's looking better," Sulu sighed as the bridge crew resumed their work around him. "Yeah, mostly orange-pineapple juice. I- I don't know, maybe four glasses? Oh… yes. That was chicken noodle with black bread. Yeah – don't ask. It's a Russian thing. I wouldn't recommend it. But why don't you just come down here if you're so concerned? Or call _her_?" He slumped down in his chair at his station and rolled his eyes. As Bones continued to question him about Chekova's condition, Sulu looked over at her and made a face.

Anya had finally recovered enough from her space virus to return to work. Bones had discharged her from the med bay, but Jim had assigned Sulu to keep an eye on her. The pair had spent a weekend in Hikaru's cabin watching movies and playing board games in bed.

"Chekov, why don't you hit the med bay to get Bones out of Mr. Sulu's ear?" Jim suggested.

"Aye, Keptain," she replied. Snatching the communicator from Sulu's hand, she declared, "I'm on my way!"

In the Med Bay, Bones grimaced. "We're gonna have a patient to check up on."

"Who's that – the redshirt from this morning bust the stitches?" Dr. Greenberg asked from the office. She poked her head out. "I _told_ her to leave the project until tomorrow. I'll have to have a word with Mr. Scott."

"It's Ensign Chekov."

Dr. Greenberg strolled out of her office, interested. "You mean Ensign Chekova."

Bones swatted his hand. "Yes, yeah, yeah. You know who I meant. Her official files say Chekov, you know. Anyway, if you want me to handle this one, I can."

"No, I'd like to." Dr. Greenberg smiled. "Really."

"Okay, then," Bones replied, his eyebrows dangerously close to his hairline.

"I'm a doctor, not a child," she scoffed.

Dr. McCoy laughed aloud. "Well-played. Okay then. I'll just be in my office doing… something." He stood and stiffly crossed the med bay. "Let me know if you-"

"It's fine," Cat interrupted as Anya bounced through the Med Bay door.

"Hello," the navigator announced. She peeked around a bed and gave a small wave to Dr. Greenberg. "Oh, hello. Ees Decter McCoy in? Ze keptain sent me."

"He's finishing something up, but I can certainly check you over." Cat patted an exam table. "Hop up here and I'll take a look. How are you feeling?"

Though the door was mostly shut and the blinds were drawn, Leo strained to hear what was going on. Why he was so concerned about the girl was beyond him. By the rights she was just another crew member and wasn't even supposed to be there, had things gone right. He sat back in his chair and sighed. Two months ago Jim had beamed down onto that God-forsaken planet and brought back Pavel's body. When they landed back in the USS Enterprise, Bones had been the first one there. The memories haunted him. Jim's atoms had barely reassembled when Leo was ripping at his arms, demanding he let go of Pavel so he could save the boy. Leo had known damn well there was no surviving that explosion. Yet seeing Chekov's limp, singed body triggered a response. _Save him. He can be fixed. Skin grafts. IV's. Antibiotics. Morphine. Modern medicine is fantastic. We'll be able to do something._ It had been Cat Greenberg, his partner and Chekov's longtime girlfriend, who had pulled him away and told him firmly, "He's gone. He's gone, Leo."

Sighing, Bones peeked out his office window at Dr. Greenberg and Anya Chekova. Whatever anguish he felt about the kid's death had to be exponential for Cat. Especially now as she stared into the face of Pavel's twin sister.

"Damn it," Leo growled aloud as he stood up from his desk. "Hey," he announced gruffly as he stalked back into the Med Bay. "Thanks for stopping by."

"Oh, sure. Eet's refreshing to know I'm better." Anya nodded seriously. "Decter Greenberg says the wirus has run its course."

The accent felt like a blow to the gut. How many times had Pavel ended up in the Med Bay with lacerations and bruises, especially when he was the acting Chief Engineer? Each time the kid's undying positivity and dancing accent tickled the nurses. McCoy nodded. "Yeah, yeah, good. That's good." He glanced at Cat, whose expression said _I know, I know._

"So more water and back to regular food, right?" Anya stated to Cat.

"Doctor's orders." Cat smiled. "Sorry if Dr. McCoy worried you. You were pretty sick for a day or two there. It was a worse reaction than we usually see for a crew member's first space bug. But I see no lasting issues. I'm calling it medically clear."

"Mr. Sulu took good care of me once I was released," Anya shrugged. "Thank you." She turned back to Bones. "And thanks for worrying. Someone has to. My parents would be so thrilled to hear I'm not just out here running wild by myself." Anya grinned, but quickly stopped.

Leo and Cat both dropped their eyes to the floor at the mention of her parents.

"Yeah, well I'm not going to disappoint your parents again," Leo grumbled. "I'm glad you're well. _Stay that way."_ He stormed back into his office and slammed the door.

Anya cringed. "I didn't mean-"

"I know," Cat quickly said. "I'm sorry. Everyone's so touchy. Including me." She offered a sad smile. "I should have introduced myself before but couldn't. Not until now. So here it goes." The doctor took a deep breath and struck out her hand. "Hi. I'm Cat. I dated Pavel for three years. I'd been pestering him to propose to me. I was going to spend the rest of my life with that man." She closed her eyes, inhaled deeply, then smiled. "But I guess he's the one who spent the rest of his life with me."

"Cat," Anya repeated. "I'm glad to meet you, finally. Pavel went on about how perfect you were for him. Really." She hesitated. "I think you would have been pleased at ze result of your pestering, if things had happened differently."

Cat's jaw dropped, then she smiled widely. "What?"

"There aren't too many secrets among twins." Anya smiled. "Pavel didn't think proposing at work would have been wery romantic. He was waiting for shore leave." Genuine joy lit up Anya's body as she watched Cat's reaction.

The doctor giggled and nervously brushed hair back from her face. "He was going to? Really?" A small blush came to the surface of her cheeks. "I _knew_ it."

"I should have told you sooner. I was going to say it at the funeral, but it didn't seem like a good time." Anya reached out and took Cat's hands. "He loved you. Every time he told us about you, he called you 'My Beautiful Cat.' He was going to marry you."

In his office where he'd been listening in, Dr. Leonard McCoy broke down into silent sobs. "God damn it."


	12. Grieving

"Leo."

Bones looked up in annoyance. "What? I'm trying to get this report done, even though no one else cares about its due date, Jim included." He slammed his tablet down onto the desk. "Can't anyone on this ship adhere to protocol? I get there's a time and a place for rule-breaking, but not when it comes to filing and recording." He huffed and leaned back in his chair moodily.

Dr. Greenberg frowned and leaned against Dr. McCoy's door frame. Her bright red lips looked like a slice across her face as she pursed her lips. "Easy, chief."

"Not you," he snapped. "I know your report's already done." He ran a hand through his hair. "Sorry. Did you need something?"

"No, just thought I'd check in." Cat strolled in and perched on the edge of the older doctor's desk. "You've been more of a bear than usual lately. And not in the _I'm so tough so you better listen to me_ sort of way. What's going on?"

McCoy regarded his partner with interest. _When did she start dressing all fancy again? How did I not notice her snap out of her depression?_ He'd noticed her signature red lipstick, but suddenly her non-regulation high heels, intricate hair braid, and bright red nails caught his attention. "What's going on?" he repeated. "Oh, nothing. You know. The usual."

"You might be able to fool your friends, but I'm a doctor. I think you're having a really hard time with your grief, Leo."

Bones' eyebrows shot upward. " _My_ grief?"

"Yes." Cat absent-mindedly rolled and unrolled the hem of her uniform jacket. "Seems like I found myself just as you got lost." She clapped Leo on the shoulder. "You don't have to trudge through alone. If anyone on this ship does, I know exactly how you feel."

Sighing, the doctor folded his hands and leaned upon his knees, his head hanging low. "No, Dr. Greenberg, you don't. You're all just kids. None of you should be dying." The face of his daughter, only a few years younger than the Chekov twins, filled his mind. "Joanna, my girl? She graduated the Academy – medical. She's on a starship right now. She's a nurse. Some stupid thing could happen to her. Explosion, ship malfunction, virus." He looked up at Cat, thankful to be staving off the waterworks. "Hell, you're not much older than them."

"I'm thirty. Anya Chekova is twenty-seven. We're not kids, Leo."

"You're still a kid," McCoy growled. "Half the time it feels like you're all _my_ kids. My responsibility. I'm proud when you figure things out and disappointed when you shoot yourself in the foot. Metaphorically _or_ literally," he added.

Cat chuckled. Bones didn't.

He continued, very uncertain of where these words were coming from. He'd ignored the feelings. He'd pushed the fear and sorrow deep down. He was a doctor, damn it, not a grieving parent. So why did he feel like it? "Anya Chekova is smart and every bit as fun to be around as her brother. When her vitals crashed in here last week – I thought another kid was going to die without me being able to do anything about it. I thought I'd have to take another trip with Jim back to Russia. You've delivered news of the fatalities – you know it's the family's expressions that stick in your mind. Not the crew member's body. It's those left behind. Why am I even here if I can't save these kids?" His fist crashed down onto the top of the desk, rattling his monitors.

Cat didn't jump. She simply shifted her weight and got more comfortable on her spot on the desktop. "Remember Mr. Scott's third-degree burn after that reactor accident?"

McCoy's lip curled and he shook his head at her in disinterest. "Yeah, so?"

"You saved him. Remember Pavel's concussion during that gravity system failure?" Cat held out her hand and began to count on her fingers. "Or every time Captain Kirk came back with severe lacerations. There was Lieutenant Uhura's ebola, Mr. Sulu's tonsillitis that turned into a brain infection-"

"Yes, so?" Bones interrupted.

"We save people – _you_ save people every day. This crew would be a lot worse off without you." She tilted her head slightly. "Pavel - _my Pavel_ died. He was going to die there. That's just what was going to happen. If you had been with him, you couldn't have saved him. If I was there, I couldn't have done anything. You have to let it go. You know that there's no suit, no armor, no technology that could have saved him from the heat of that blast. He didn't suffer. He probably didn't even know what was happening. You heard his last transmissions. He was so happy to have disarmed the bomb and to have saved all those people." She carefully wiped a tear from her eye. "I was going to marry that man, but even I let it go."

"How can you be okay? It isn't natural. You can't just forget him. I can't just let him go."

"No, no, no, not him," Cat corrected softly. "Keep him. You keep Pavel. Remember him and talk about him and laugh when you think of the stupid stuff he did. Keep Pavel. Let his _death_ go."

* * *

"Captain, to risk so many lives to avenge Mr. Chekov's death is illogical." Spock spoke passionately. "What proof do you have that the device was placed on that planet by the Klingons?"

"You heard Scotty. It was a Klingon device. Chekov even confirmed it as he disarmed it. It was a Klingon device! Klingons don't play nice. Who would they give that type of technology to? It was the Klingons." Jim's voice had swollen to a shout. He glanced over his shoulder to make sure no one was listening in. He'd been teaching Spock card games in a common area, starting with Blackjack.

"While that's likely, it is unwise to-"

"It was unwise of them to kill my navigator," Jim barked. "I've reached out to a few other captains. They say there's a Klingon outpost on a planet not far from here. There's a band of loners – they're not affiliated with Klingon itself, but they're likely the perpetrators." He shuffled the cards ferociously. "They're going to get what's coming to them."

"We cannot fire on a Klingon outpost! That would be an act of war." Spock tapped the table.

Jim flipped over a card.

"This game is hardly fun at all," Spock commented. "Calculating the likelihood of the next card is too easy."

"Cheater," Jim muttered.

"I would advise you to reconsider this vendetta, Captain," Spock continued. "If we _did_ find those Klingons to be the ones who intended to blow up that planet, they would likely have technology capable of obliterating the entire Enterprise and its crew."

Jim frowned. "It won't hurt to send an away team to the planet, just to check things out."

"Under what ruse?"

"What?"

Spock sighed and looked up from the cards. "You don't intend to tell the crew that we're hunting down a rogue band of Klingons in order to avenge Mr. Chekov's death, do you?"

Jim shrugged. "It's not like we'd get any blowback. We need to. _We need to._ "

Spock sighed and tapped the table again, his cards now totaling twenty-one. "I won't tell you the likelihood of failure and complete decimation."

Captain Kirk grinned in spite of Spock's negativity. "Thanks, Spock. Always a team player."

* * *

2:49 A.M..

That night, Jim woke up at 2:49 from a slight variation of the usual nightmare. This time he had Pavel's singed, brutally burned body in his arms, but when he beamed back to the Enterprise, Pavel had disappeared. As much as he screamed and pleaded to be beamed back, no one would listen. They went on with their duties, ignoring him completely.

He sighed, stretched, and wondered if Anya was awake. The notion already made the late hour seem a little better. With his chess set under his arm and slippers on his feet, Captain Kirk left his cabin for the nearby break room. When he turned the corner and found the room empty, Jim's face fell. _She's been sick. She needs her sleep._ He set the game on the table and turned to make a pot of coffee.

After his first cup, Jim leaned back in the uncomfortable chairs and stretched his back. He wondered how long he'd have the nightmare. How many hours of sleep would he lose? How many cups of coffee would he drink alone at this ungodly hour? "I should see Bones," he grumbled out loud as he rubbed his eyes.

"What for?"

Jim jumped. "Anya."

There she was. The navigator was clad in her standard Starfleet sweats and a pair of bright furry slippers. Her curly hair was piled and pinned on top of her head. The woman never wore much makeup, but even completely without, she seemed to glow. "Keptain," she greeted him, sitting at the table as if she was joining a friend during lunch. "I'm not sure eef I should say I'm sorry or happy to see you here."

"Same," Jim replied.

"Enough time to drink a cup of coffee but not enough time to set up ze board?" she joked. "Eet's not like you had anything else to do!"

Like Pavel, Anya's accent got exponentially thicker when she wasn't thinking about it. In the middle of the night, when she was drinking, or when she was angry or excited, her accent became nearly impossible to understand. Words danced and lilted their way into sentences and phrases. An occasional Russian expression would pop in between English sentences, completely unbeknownst to the speaker. The trend hadn't escaped Jim's notice. He'd come to love her accent. It was cheerful. It disappointed him when she carefully tried, not matter how unsuccessfully, to conceal her accent on the bridge. There were enough people who sounded the same. Her vastly different way of speaking was part of what made him adore her.

Anya poured herself a cup of coffee and added in cream and sugar. "I used to dreenk eet black, but ze Americans haff ruined me!" She stirred and licked the spoon. "Perheps I'd be able to sleep eef I didn't haff zis." Sitting back down at the table, she shrugged. "But zen I couldn't wipe ze board with you."

"That's a lot of smack talk from someone who missed the last week's worth of Chess Club," Jim mock-scolded her.

"Ze space wirus was just a ploy so I could rest up and come back with renewed wigor." Anya spun the chess board so the brown pieces faced her. "You haff been here ewery night?"

"Every other," Jim confessed. "It was just like the good old days – nightmares and then the blaring silence until work." He shook his head. "Nightmares still come, but at least with you I can forget." He froze, his body stiff and expression horrified. "Not forget Pavel," he corrected himself, a hint of fright in his voice. "That's not what I meant. Not forget him. Forget the nightmares."

"I know exactly what you mean," Anya replied, nonplussed as she made her first move. A knight galloped out in front of the other pieces.

Jim moved a pawn and cleared his throat. "Listen. I don't usually do this, but I want to know how you feel about something."

"What do you mean you don't usually do zat? You ask how I feel about lots of theengs." Anya moved a pawn.

Jim's bishop slid out to the edge of the board. "Not a personal thing. A mission thing."

Anya moved another pawn. "Okay. My nawigation skeels are at your command, Keptain." She looked up when Jim didn't reach out to move a piece. His serious expression startled her. "Keptain? Zis seems heavy for three A.M. chess club."

He leaned forward slightly. "I want to go after the assholes who murdered Chekov."


	13. Decision

Anya sat in the cafeteria by herself, poking at a latke, deep in thought.

" _I want to go after the assholes who murdered Chekov,_ " Jim had proposed. He laid out a plan to find a band of rogue Klingons and prove they planted the device that killed her brother. Then they'd make a judgment call – destroy the band or call them in to the Federation for a trial. Jim spoke with such enthusiasm that it almost scared Anya. _Almost._ She would have written the captain off as crazy if part of her hadn't wanted the same thing.

She popped a bite of the potato pancake into her mouth and chewed. Captain Kirk had left the future of his mission up to her. It was way more responsibility than she'd wanted. Even coming on board the Enterprise had been more responsibility than she'd wanted.

The day she'd returned to her lectures at the Academy following Pavel's funeral, an admiral had strolled in. She figured they were just checking in to make sure she was emotionally stable enough to teach. Her calculations and instruction were up to par, in Anya's opinion, so she ignored the woman and continued with class.

Afterward the admiral had lingered until the students were gone. "Miss Chekova," she greeted her solemnly.

"Admiral," Anya replied. She had focused solely on her lectures and paid no mind to the higher-ups, not even committing to learning their names. Now she regretted it.

"Again, we offer every condolence at the death of your brother."

"Thank you," Anya replied. She gathered her tablet and materials and tucked them back into her bag. "Is zere something I can help you with?"

The admiral shifted uncomfortably, making Anya nervous. "Do you enjoy teaching, Miss Chekova?"

Anya nodded. "Oh, I do. I love it."

"Have you ever considered flying?" The admiral offered a small smile.

"F-flying?"

"I realize this is in bad taste due to timing. Yet time is short, so it's now or never. We're very interested in moving your skills to the Enterprise. You're the most skilled physicist and mathematician in the Academy. In the entire Starfleet." The admiral offered a folder to the girl.

Anya took it and flipped through.

"We've prepared your transfer papers. Give us the word and we'll send them to Captain Kirk and the rest of the Enterprise crew." The admiral smiled again. "We can certainly bring in another instructor. We could never find someone as fit to be a navigator as you."

"Not anymore," Anya replied.

The admiral's smile faded. "Miss Chekova, please understand-"

"I understand," Anya interrupted. "I do."

"Think of it was carrying on your brother's work. Who better to take his place than his twin?"

"I don't want to take his place," Anya whispered. "No one could _take his place._ " Tears welled up in her eyes and she wished them away. She wished everything away. She wished for just one more video call from Pavel. One more stupid joke. One more update from space. One more- just one more.

"Of course not. No one could replace Mr. Chekov, but his work needs to be continued. Your brother's death was unfortunate and cruel, but the work the Enterprise is doing is vital. They cannot fly without a navigator, and their bereavement period is up in a few days. That ship must be in the air next week." The admiral nodded. "Truthfully, I was to come here and _tell you_ about your transfer. This was supposed to be an order, not a choice. But I want you to decide. I'll check back tomorrow afternoon for your choice." The older woman turned to leave the classroom.

Anya blinked, taking the proposal in. Suddenly, a bizarre image of Pavel frantically shoving her toward the admiral, urging her, "Go, go, go!" flashed across her mind. Though truly, teaching was her passion, the thought of someone else taking Pavel's station on the Enterprise made her stomach churn. "Wait," she had called after the admiral. "I'll fly."

As the memory faded, Anya forked the rest of the latke and stuffed it in her mouth. Her mind was made up. They were going to go after those assholes after all.


	14. Wing Night

**A/N: Shout out to everybody watching the Super Bowl today. Enjoy your hot wings! God knows Jaylah does.**

 **And thanks for reading – it's a nice way to work through the cruel demise of Anton Yelchin/Pavel Chekov. Comments/questions/reviews welcome, forever.**

 **Also I'm currently taking Russian classes (unrelated to fanfiction writing), so if I screw things up royally anywhere in the fic, apologies!**

"Keptain Kirk," Anya called the second their shift on the bridge ended. "Keptain."

He got up from his chair and grinned. "Hey. You hungry?"

"No, I, well, yes." Anya stuttered. She took a deep breath, ready to condemn the Enterprise to a hunt for the Klingons who killed her brother. "I theenk-"

"Come on! Thursdays are wing nights. It's Mr. Scott's favorite thing – next to the Enterprise itself." He laughed. "Speak of the devil!" Jim exclaimed as Scott trotted down the hall toward the bridge.

"Ah, there she is!" Scotty bounced toward the pair. "Hey, Cap. On for tonight?"

"Of course," Jim scoffed.

"Great!" Scotty turned to Anya and regarded her seriously. "Jaylah wanted me to make sure you knew about Thursday hot wing night. We forget you aren't privy to all of our traditions. This is the best one." He grinned. "So you're coming, then?"

"I don't think I've eaten hot wings." Anya looked between the men. "Zey're chicken wings? Are zey good?"

"Oh, Anya, Anya, Anya," Jim tutted. "You are so obviously not from Iowa. Hot wings are the staple of every bar night, football game, and movie marathon back where I'm from. We will take your hot wing virginity tonight with great enthusiasm."

Anya blushed and Scotty cheered. "That we will, lass. One hour. Bar. Meet us there." He bounced off back in the direction he'd come from, Keenser meeting him halfway.

"Keptain," Anya started again.

"You'll love it. They're not that hot. Well, they are, but not in the spicy way. Just the hot way, you know what I mean? I have no idea what you Russians eat beside borsch," Jim babbled as he started down the hallway.

"Jim!" Anya snapped, grabbing Jim's wrist.

One of his eyebrows quirked in interest. "Yeah, what's up?"

"I think you're right." Anya's heart pounded. "I want to find ze Klingons."

Jim's eye grew wide. "Shh!" He quickly grabbed Chekova and ushered her into an empty conference room across the hall from where they were standing. "I haven't proposed the mission to anyone else but Spock, and you can imagine how he took it."

Anya nodded. "Sorry. But I want to do it. We need to do it. Not just for Pavel. For all of you. Ze crew needs this, too."

"All of _us_ ," Jim scolded her. "You're part of the crew now."

"Zis is right," Anya confirmed. Her voice gave away her uncertainty. _Two wrongs don't make a right._ Ignoring the doubt, she nodded. "We should do this."

Jim reached out and took her hands in his. Anya blinked rapidly in surprise, but Jim didn't seem to notice. "Okay," he nodded. "I'll get you the coordinates the other captains passed along to me. The Klingon outpost isn't far from here. Chart a course and we'll go."

Though she tried to conceal it, a smirk crept onto her face. Justice. Renewed purpose. Strength. A million emotions swelled in her, plus some she hadn't expected. Admiration. Curiosity. After a moment, she nearly snorted aloud at the notion. _How typical,_ she thought, _to have a crush on the captain._ Pavel had sworn up and down that she'd meet him and fall in love, but she'd rolled her eyes a thousand times. Now she sent up a silent prayer: _Pavel, you idiot. Fine. You told me so._

Jim's crooked grin made her want to sweep up and brush her nose against his. She recalled a drunken moment where she may have actually done that – but whether or not it had happened, she couldn't say. Yet now in the moment, something intangible was sizzling in the air between them. Anya didn't care if it was the power of the decision they'd made together or a raw chemistry; she could no longer deny her affection for the cocky American captain.

Jim released his gentle grasp on her hands and instead laced his fingers through Anya's without a word. He took a step toward her and lowered his face to hers.

Suddenly the door burst open and the lights flipped on. A small group of security officers froze in the doorway.

"Oh," a human officer exclaimed. "So sorry, Captain! We had the room booked for seven o'clock, and, and-"

"Quite all right, Officer," Jim recovered. "Just having a quick pep talk in here." He grinned and released Anya's hands. "See you in an hour, Ms. Chekova." He slid past the security officers, leaving Anya standing breathlessly before the group. They filed in and tried not to make eye contact.

After all, if Captain Kirk wanted to have a private moment in a conference room with the new navigator, who were they to say anything?

"Where's Hikaru?" Anya asked as the group began tearing into their food an hour later in the bar. "And Mr. Spock?"

Keenser, Scotty, Jaylah, Anya, Jim, Uhura, Dr. McCoy, and Dr. Greenberg had gathered in the bar. It was Wing Night and Scotty had personally hunted down each of the participants to demand their attendance. Baskets of wings covered the table.

"Sulu had to take care of something on video call with his husband. And Spock isn't a fan," Uhura sighed. "He took one look at us eating wings the first time we did this and vowed never to attend. Nyota held the top bone of a wing and gingerly pulled the meat off with a fork. Her hands were nearly spotless. She giggled. "I admire his knack for cleanliness and order. Too bad. He's missing out on a fun time."

Next to her, Jaylah was ravenously tearing meat from bone with her teeth and wiping her mouth with her sleeve. "Wing Night make rules of Star Fleet all worth it," she commented between bites. She tossed a bare bone into a pile next to her plate.

The pile next to Scotty's plate was only half the size. He regarded her with pride and chuckled. "You don' follow half of them, anyway."

"And who is my supervisor?" Jaylah asked. "The one who is supposed to make me to follow rules?" When Scotty gestured to himself, she continued, "He doesn't make me. So shush, Montgomery Scotty."

Anya sniffed one of the wings on her plate and cringed at the burning that filled her nostrils. "You eat zese?" she exclaimed as her eyes watered.

"It's a bit much at first, but give it a try," Nyota explained. "It's good. Clears out the system."

Doctor McCoy snorted. "In more ways than one."

"Thanks for the medical input, Bones." Jim had already nearly finished his basket. "Keep up, Anya."

"Dig in, lassie," Scotty attempted through a mouth full. "No need to be polite. You're part of the family." He turned to Jaylah. "What else is there that we haven't told her about?"

Jaylah nodded enthusiastically. "Double shift parties. Beer pong." She sucked the meat from another wing. "Birthday parties."

"Ah, yes. If we ever have to work a double shift, drinks at the next wing night are on the captain." Scotty leaned around Anya and poked Jim with his fork. "That's why he never schedules anyone back to back. You're welcome for that, by the way. And on the first Friday of the month we have a beer pong tournament." He thought for a minute. "Actually, I'll make a schedule. Very intricate. All interconnected. You shouldn't miss."

Anya raised an eyebrow. "Are zese mandatory?"

"Mandatory?" Jaylah exclaimed. "No, these are for fun, Anya Chekov. You _want_ to come to these things."

"It might seem like a lot at first," Dr. Greenberg added. "But then you'll get sucked in." She shrugged. "I was just the plus one and now you bet I always have plans on Thursdays."

Everyone rolled their eyes or _boo_ ed the doctor's comment.

"Plus one?" Bones asked. "Then what's that make me? Your awkward third wheel?"

Cat rolled her eyes. "Well, now at least I'm not the newbie." She winked at Anya. "My would have been sister is here now."

Anya's eyes watered. She was thankful for the cover of the hot wings.

"Told you," Jim commented. He smiled and nudged Anya's leg with his own under the table. "Hope you like us. It's not like you have a lot of other choices for the next five years."

Anya's breath caught in her throat. The warmth of Jim's leg came to rest against hers. His eyes flickered to hers for just a moment – just long enough for Anya to notice him wink. The fleeting thrill was enough to make her cough.

"Too spicy for your palette? You haven' even taken a bite!" Scotty joked, nudging Anya with his elbow – the only thing not covered in sauce. "Toughen up. You're part of the baddest space crew out there. A little hot sauce shouldn' choke ya up."

Anya nodded. "No, just forgot how to swallow my own spit," she recovered. Under the table, she made a slight movement to press her leg back against Jim's gently. Again, Jim's eyes flickered to hers for the briefest instance and a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips. "I'm – I'm glad to be here," she announced.

Scotty cheered and held up his beer. "To Anya Chekov for finally accepting that she's stuck with us!"

"To Anya Chekov," the rest of the table cheered joyfully. Beer sloshed and flecks of hot sauce rained down onto the table. No one judged when the new navigator burst into tears.

"Thank you," she wept in relief.

Nyota handed her a napkin and McCoy snorted. "That's not going to get you out of Wings Night. Eat up, Commander."


	15. Transmission

"This is Captain Kirk. Pay attention because this is a heavy one." Jim did his best to avoid Spock's angry – _wait, he's actually angry!_ \- glare and glanced at Lt. Uhura for the final confidence push he needed. The ship-wide broadcast line remained open.

Uhura nodded toward the captain's chair.

Turns out it _wasn't_ the final boost that would make him feel 100% about the mission. Jim glanced around the rest of the bridge. He hadn't announced anything to the crew yet. There was still time to abort the mission to track down the rogue Klingons who murdered Pavel Chekov. _Should_ _? I can't. They have to pay._ It felt right, but Jim wasn't sure if his emotions were getting the best of him. Spock was certain they were. _But Spock didn't get it._

Jim's stomach flopped. This hunt didn't have anything to do with their orders to explore. Yet he _had_ to do it, right? Justice _had_ to be served. _Then why do I feel so shitty?_ He didn't even have to ask himself. Since the young navigator's death, Jim had been hesitant to put anyone in harm's way. As much as he wanted- needed- to avenge Pavel, the thought of another crew member dying left him feeling stuck in an endless loop.

No one else on the crew, barring Spock, seemed to feel the same. Mr. Sulu was nodding at him. At the next station over, Anya Chekova looked perfectly calm. Bones, who was on the bridge for some unknown reason as usual, was motioning for Jim to continue. The nearly unanimous reassurance pushed him over the edge. _Here we go._

"We've received information that the beings who placed the bomb that killed Mr. Chekov here in the Pollox system a few months ago were likely a group of Klingon rebels." Jim took a breath. He spoke surely, making sure not to leave anything out. "We've also received the coordinates of where these Klingon assholes are. Yes, they were also in charge of the device Mr. Scott disarmed last week. We have no idea what the hell they're doing, but bombs of that magnitude can do some serious damage. Like wipe a species off the face of a planet damage. As you know, the most recent bomb was disarmed without incident. The one before that was rigged to set off a much smaller explosion when disarmed. It did so and killed Mr. Chekov." He paused and gathered himself. "I've thought long and hard about this. I've consulted the command crew. I've spoken with Mr. Chekov's family." Jim glanced at Anya, who looked mildly surprised to be mentioned. "We're going to go after these motherf-"

" _Jim!"_ Uhura's voice broadcast through the ship.

"Sorry," Jim apologized. "We're going to take these Klingons out. An away team will scout out the coordinates we received and we'll go from there. We'll arrive at the planet in a few days. If you have any problems, take it up with your supervisor and they can take it up with me. Somebody who killed one of my crew members is running around out there unchecked. That's _not_ going to fly. I'd do the same for any of you. Kirk out.


	16. Away Team

Green lights and maps blinked on the screens on the Enterprise's bridge. The countdown read 0:00 and nervous energy cycled through the room.

"Sulu. Chekov. You're with me," Jim barked. "We've got security officers making up the rest of the away team. Spock, you've got the conn." He rubbed his hands together in eager anticipation. The Enterprise had arrived at an uncharted planet- the same one a few officers had given Jim the coordinates of. Someone in the Federation was always tracking Klingons. A rogue band just so happened to have been tracked back to this planet. Now an Enterprise away team would be tracking down the group. The more time passed, the more certain Jim became these Klingons were the ones responsible for Pavel Chekov's death.

"Aye, Captain," Spock replied. "I trust you'll not make any rash decisions."

Jim raised an eyebrow. "Do you? Thanks for the confidence, Buddy!"

"That was an expression," Spock corrected himself. "I'm certain that you _will_ make a rash decision. I would advise against it, but past experience shows you disregard not only regulation but advice."

"That sounds about right," Jim shrugged. "Come on, gang. Grab your suits and let's get to the shuttles." He motioned to Anya and Hikaru. They hopped up and followed.

"A shuttle, Captain?" Sulu asked in surprise. "Why aren't we beaming down?"

"Never know what we'll be down there." Kirk shrugged. "I'd rather not beam into the middle of their camp. Done that one too many times."

* * *

The shuttle powered down behind the cover of a large field of primitive ruins. The vegetation and dilapidated state suggested they'd been abandoned for some time; making them the perfect hiding place. Anya mused to herself that she'd walked out of a starship and into an Earth history book. To one side of the shuttle lay more ruins. To the other, a green lush forest.

"What's the plan, Captain?" Sulu asked solemnly.

Kirk looked up from his seat in surprise. Sulu, his ever sure pilot, his unshakeable confidence in every mission, was hesitant and uncertain. The captain tried to pinpoint when his pilot lost his mojo. He didn't have to think hard. _Pavel._

"Captain?" Sulu repeated.

"First thing's first. Let's check out these ruins and make sure they're secure." Kirk slapped the button for the door. As it opened, he continued. "We have the coordinates, but that's it. We're here to scout it out. If you run into anyone – Klingon or otherwise – do not engage. Report back. We've got to be smart about this. You don't know what they're capable of."

"But we _do_ ," a security officer said bitterly.

After exchanging glances, the team crept out of the shuttle. Phasers were raised.

Jim did his best not to look at Anya. She was as capable of watching out for herself as any other crew member. He knew that. Having her along was already clouding his concentration. _Is she scared? Did she want to be on the away team? Was her reason for coming because she felt that the mission was her choice?_ He gave up and glanced at her.

"Aye, Keptain," she whispered. "Do not engage. Report back." For a moment her eyes locked on his. Then, with a hint of a smile, she turned away and nudged Sulu, joking with him briefly to lighten his mood.

Jim crept along one of the ruins, a strange statue. The minerals had crumbled away over time, but it looked like a humanesque woman with wings. He allowed himself five seconds to marvel before moving on. Danger lurked everywhere, but what good was exploring space if he couldn't take a second to enjoy the view? Worry crept back in. _Where are they? Will they ambush us? Are they building their bomb devices here?_ Jim shook his head. _Think good thoughts._ He wondered if Bones and Spock, back aboard the Enterprise, were pacing, or simply joining forces to complain about him. The humor made him grin in spite of his nervousness.

Five yards away, Anya was peering around the corner of a pyramid. Jim watched as her chest fell in relief when she failed to find hostiles. Sensing someone watching her, Anya froze. In a split second, she'd spun and leveled her phaser with Jim's chest.

"Hey, hey!" he hissed. "It's just me."

Anya breathed in relief again and let the gun drop to her side.

"Run!" one of the security officers shouted suddenly. Jim ran toward Anya, who'd already turned and was sprinting away from him. They didn't question why they were running. The urgency in the call had been enough.

Jim glanced over his shoulder and saw Sulu disappear behind another ruin. Right behind him was a small being. Fear wasn't his first reaction, but rather, humor. The furless creatures looked almost cute, but a mouth full of sharp teeth changed Jim's mind. "Stay together out there!" Kirk called. He groaned when a snarl from nearby caught his attention. He turned. A dozen creatures, some holding bows, others spears, had been hiding along the ruins; their skin camouflaging them like chameleons.

"Keptain!" Anya shouted, waving him along. "Zis way, zis way. Come on!" She turned for the forest and crashed through the trees. "Keptain!" She waited long enough for him to break through the treeline behind her before continuing.

"Go, go!" he called.

Arrows, some of them flaming, narrowly missed them or bounced off of their suits. Anya swore as an arrow sliced along her arm and fell out of the air.

The familiar rush of adrenaline buzzed through Jim's veins. Thoughts fell away and instinct took over. The heavy armored away team suit weighed on him and made the dash feel like a cardio workout instead of a mad sprint to save his life. A brief worry that Anya wouldn't be able to keep up with him was soothed as she huffed along beside him without any sign of distress. The pair easily hurdled fallen logs and bushes for a few minutes. They never slowed. Green surrounded them and blurred in the periphery as they sprinted. The only sound was the occasional whizzing of arrows and the crunch of vegetation underfoot. The similarity this planet had to earth gave Kirk some relief, but made him feel uneasy at the same time. He surveyed their surroundings. The arrows had stopped soaring past and the battle cries had quieted. He and Anya had climbed uphill steadily. Rushing water flowed somewhere nearby: threatening either a dead end or an escape route. "You all right?" Jim called, slowing.

"Yes!" Anya replied, her voice betraying frustration but not fear.

"Good." Jim leaned against a tree to catch his breath. He pulled out his communicator. "Away team 2, where are you? You all together?"

"We're in a cave," Sulu's hushed voice came back. "I think the hostiles have passed, but we're waiting to be sure. Where are you?"

Jim looked around. "We went through the forest. We're up the hill quite a ways. Sounds like there's water nearby."

" _Keptain!"_ Anya hissed, jerking her head downhill. A trio of natives were creeping through the leaves, their skin rapidly changing as they passed browns, greens, and yellows.

"Gotta go," he said softly into the phone. He tapped Anya's arm and motioned forward.

They continued upward toward the source of the water sound, practically tip-toeing through the sticks. Heel. Toe. Heel. Toe. Escape was slow but steady. The natives clearly weren't blind, as proven by their ambush at the temple site, but Jim wondered if their eyesight was diminished in the busy forest setting. Splashing sounds grew louder. Jim hoped the rush would cover their footsteps. He picked up the pace. The space between the natives and the officers grew larger. He was barely breathing. Heel. Toe. Heel. Toe. Don't rustle the brush. Don't breathe. A soft tap on Jim's arm made him jump.

"Here," Anya mouthed, pointing to a rocky opening in the side of a towering rock formation.

Jim made a face and shook his head.

"Come _on,_ " Anya hissed, ducking into the hole.

Jim gritted his teeth and followed her. The rock floor was wet and slick and smelled moldy. He reached out and hoped to feel Anya in front of him, but felt nothing and saw only darkness. "Anya," he called softly, suddenly worried that natives were waiting with their spears and knives. "Anya?"

"Here," her muffled voice came echoing.

His hands out in front of him in hopes of preventing a broken nose, Jim pushed ahead. Light appeared as he turned a slight curve. "Geeze," he sighed in relief as he saw Anya standing on a rocky ledge. She'd found the waterfall. They were behind it.

Angry cries from above resounded in the open air around the waterfall and pool below.

Jim and Anya exchanged concerned glances.

"Well, sounds like we lost zem, but for how long?" Anya muttered.

" _Jim, come in. Where are you_?"

If he hadn't known better, Jim would have guessed that Spock was perhaps _worried_ by their radio silence. "Had a little issue with the natives, Mr. Spock," Jim chuckled into the phone. "We're taking the scenic route back."

A different voice responded. "The map shows you in a lake. Are you really in a lake? Jim, you have no idea what's in that planet's water."

"Bones, it seemed like a better option than taking a flaming arrow in the neck. No, we aren't in the lake. We're just behind a waterfall against a cliff." He rolled his eyes and Anya laughed. "There's only one way in. We're all right for the time being. Worst case scenario, we've got a few different ways out of here."

"We'll get a decontamination bath ready," Bones growled. "I'm beginning to think you enjoy them."

"Not in the slightest, Bones."

"Jim," Spock interrupted. "Are there any signs of the Klingon rebels?"

"No," he replied. "We didn't get much time to explore, but we haven't run into them yet."

"Fascinating," Spock mumbled.

"We'll be back soon. Let us know if anything shows up on radar." Jim shut the communicator and looked at Anya as he wiped the water spray from his face. "We'll find them." He wondered if she was as disappointed he was. Judging by her face, it didn't look like it.

"Sure, Keptain." Anya was blinking into the water droplets, her damp curls plastered to her face. "I don't hear zem." She turned and grinned. "I doubt ze other team is having as much fun as zis."

"Fun?" the captain repeated in disbelief. "This is your idea of fun? Remind me to send you out on more missions." _There it is,_ he thought affectionately. _The essential Chekov positivity. And that smile. Damn._

Anya shrugged. "I haff not seen a waterfall before. Zis seems like an okay ending to running for our lives." She laughed and wiped the wet hair back from her face. "How long should we wait before we go back?" She turned back from the ledge and bumped into Jim.

Jim was surprised to find how close they'd gotten. He tried to step back but found himself against the rock. "Sorry," he exclaimed.

"Zere's not a lot of space," Anya shrugged. "Ees okay." She turned back to face the water and leaned against the wall next to the captain. "Zere are worst places we could have ended up." She winked.

The simple gesture hit Jim like an aphrodisiac. "Yeah," he breathed. It took conscious reminders to not reach out and kiss her. _This isn't the time or the place,_ Jim thought. _Maybe if natives weren't hunting us with an intent to kill. Maybe._ Anya, nearly ten years his junior, was more mature, intelligent, and wise than him in every way. It had been hard for him to accept that he was falling for his fallen navigator's twin sister. It didn't make sense. It was almost comical. As captain, he didn't want to play favorites. He didn't want anyone to think he'd selected Anya as Pavel's replacement (he hadn't, the admiral had) because she was pretty and funny. There were a million reasons Jim should make an effort to ignore her. But he couldn't stop looking at her. The sight of her calm smile was like a drink to a thirsty man, and Jim was parched.

" _Away team one. We're heading back to the shuttle, but we've got some natives nearby. You're gonna have to step on it and meet us back there."_

"Thanks, Sulu," Jim said. "We're on our way." He couldn't help but wish their romantic waterfall getaway wasn't getting cut short.

"Down it is, zen?" Anya asked excitedly.

He weighed his options but found none of them as fast (or as fun) as jumping through the waterfall. "I think so." He pulled out his communicator. "Hey, Spock. Is there anything in the pool at the bottom of the waterfall we're at?"

"R _adar indicates the pool is clear of rocks or debris otherwise. Captain, is that your means of escape? Scans show the water is super dense."_

Bones cut in. _"It won't kill you, but you aren't going to be able to swim in it very well. Lose the suits. And for the love of God, don't breathe it in."_

"That's our plan, Spock. And duly noted, Bones. See you soon!" Jim snapped the phone shut.

"Zese can't be cheap to reaplace," Anya said, tugging at her suit. They'd taken to wearing armor-lined suits after a few close-calls on non-Federation planets. "Oh, well." She was already stripping off her jacket.

Jim sighed. "Yeah. My uniform and suit budget for Year One alone is going to kill us." He emptied his pockets and took off his jacket. He tried not to look at the navigator as she bent over to pull her pants off. They landed with a thud between them. Finally, standing in his boxer briefs, Jim cleared his throat and glanced at Anya. "Ready?"

She nodded excitedly.

Jim swallowed hard. Anya's pale skin stood in stark contrast to her black underwear. A series of black tattoos stood out on her right thigh. "Tattoos?" he asked in surprise.

"A girl has her secrets." Anya grinned. "No six pack?" She poked his side and giggled.

Jim chuckled. "No. Sorry to disappoint." He took a breath and tried to squint through the waterfall. He had no idea what lay beyond the curtain of water, but felt strangely serene. "On three?" Jim asked.

Anya reached over and took his hand. "On three."

"One," they counted together, "two, three!"

The waterfall's brief spray was a cold shock to the system. Stomach-dropping free-fall followed.. The drop was higher than Jim had expected. He squeezed Anya's hand tighter and called, "Geronimo!" Anya had just enough time to laugh before they hit the water.

"Oh!" Kirk burst as he splashed to the surface. "Holy shit. That's freezing." He tried to tread water, but it felt like kicking through molasses.

Anya surfaced a moment later. "Oh! So cold! Zat was crazy." Water dripped from her hair and the tip of her nose. She felt like a wet dog in need of a shake.

Thankful to be able to move toward shore, Jim began kicking fiercely. The water wasn't sucking him down, but certainly wasn't helping him stay afloat, either. "Crazy, huh? You'll just have to get used to crazy if you keep hanging around me," Jim laughed.

Waves of the heavy water sloshed up against the shore line as they trudged forward. The water had the consistency of gelatin, but the sand was glittering gold.

"Eef zis is what hanging around you gets me- count me een!" Anya bent and scooped the glitter into her hand. The silky silt ran through her fingers like ribbons. She _oohed_ in wonder.

"Soaking wet on a beach in your underwear?" Jim asked suggestively. He winked, then immediately ducked as Anya kicked a flurry of water at him. "Hey! Bones said to be careful with this stuff," he chided.

"Sorry," Anya sheepishly replied. She turned and tried to wring out her hair. As soon as she did, Jim grabbed her around the waist and scooped her into his arms.

Her limbs flailed. "Hey!" she shrieked softly. A cackle followed.

For a moment Jim was thrust into the past. Only in the most unexpected times have Pavel Chekov cackled like that. It was a laugh much darker than his usual giggle. It was the laugh that resulted when Pavel and Sulu tried to stifle their laughed.

Yet now Anya was cackling that hilarious sound as he carried her back into the pool. Jim laughed. _God, it feels good to laugh!_ He looked down to Anya's face and smirked. _"_ You're already getting a decontamination bath, so another dip won't hurt." Before he was able to drop her, Anya threw her arm around his neck. The weight pulled the captain down on top of the navigator. Bursts of laughter bounrced off the rock wall behind them.

"Now we're even," Jim said smugly, shaking the water from his hair and wiping it from his eyes.

Anya pushed her curls out of her face. When she opened her eyes, Jim offered a hand. "Even," she agreed as he pulled her up. "Thanks, Keptain."

Jim's face softened and lost its cocky smirk. Fondness beamed from him and made Anya's face brighten to match. In an unspoken acceptance, they drew together. Fingers slid over wet skin. Warm breath danced across lips. Just as they closed their eyes to kiss, a _twang! s_ ounded from above them.

Swearing, Jim pulled away. The natives had spotted – or likely heard- them. He mentally reprimanded himself for being so careless. "Come on!" He snatched Anya's hand and dashed toward the trees. Twigs and rocks pierced his feet and shins. Thin branches whipped his bare abdomen as he sprinted forth. "Still want to hang around me?" he called over his shoulder.

Anya swore in Russian. "Ze bad with ze good, I guess," she panted. Arrows whizzed past them and quickened their pace. "Zere's definitely been some of both today," Anya mused.

Jim's heart fluttered for reasons that didn't have to do with cardio.

Anya suddenly hissed in pain and her hand slid from Jim's. A sharp piece of wood had plunged into the arch of her foot. She knelt to pull it out, but hesitated at the pain. An arrow stuck in a tree six inches from her head. Another Russian expletive filled the silence.

"Come on," Jim urged her. He knelt. "Can you run?"

Anya nodded. "Rip it out."

"Are you sure?" Jim asked. He grimaced. The wood was jagged and jammed into her foot at a strange angle. Removing it his way was going to cause damage. But a foot injury was better than being dead. He was certain the exposure of running through a forest in just their underwear would leave them all sorts of cuts and bruises once they had a chance to look themselves over. Yet this was the worst.

Anya had barely responded when he pinched the chunk of wood between his fingers and pulled it clear. She shrieked, but jumped up and began running. "Ze shuttle isn't far, ees it?" Pain lit up her foot every time it hit the ground.

"We're close," Jim replied from close behind her. The thought of taking an arrow before it would pierce her gave him some morbid solace, but he ran faster nonetheless.

They were closer than expected. The shuttle and second half of the away team appeared as Jim and Anya crashed through the trees into the ruin field.

"Do we want to ask?" one of the security officers asked, obviously amused that the pair were in their underwear.

"Go, go, go!" Jim commanded. "Fire her up! Let's go! We've got hostiles behind us." An arrow landed in the ground with a _thunk_ to punctuate his point.

"Well, we figured out where the natives went," one of the security officers called.

The away team jumped into the shuttle, their leisurely wait for the captain and navigator suddenly shattered. Anya collapsed into the front seat next to Sulu. The shuttle shuddered slightly as it lifted from the ground. Sulu flipped a few switches and put the ruin site under them. Once they were out of the range of the arrows, he turned to Anya. "You think that's your spot in every ship, huh?" He asked in amusement. "I don't need any warp paths calculated in a shuttle."

"Well, eet's my seat." Anya shrugged.

"Shit, we don't have any medical on board, do we?" Jim glanced from face to face. The security officers shook their heads. "Anya's got a pretty nasty foot injury."

Sulu quickly glanced at her foot. "Geeze, Chekov. Put pressure on that."

"You're not going to ask where out clothes are?" She replied.

"Nope."

Anya glanced back at Jim. She raised an eyebrow. "Why do I feel like zis has happened before?"

"It might have happened with Mr. Chekov before." Jim grinned.

"I don't recall you being so wet last time, Captain," Sulu replied.

"Every day's a new chance to end up on a new planet in your underwear, Mr. Sulu."

* * *

Meters away from the ruins, cloaked by a simple device, a Klingon smirked back to his crew. "The girl belongs to the captain. We'll take her first."


	17. Checkmate

**Author's Note: Thanks for reading, and hello to new readers! This thing started off as a one-shot, but I got some messages asking for more and I wove something out of nothing. Thanks for sticking around as I dabbled and found an idea. Adventure coming soon.**

Leo snarled aloud. No matter how he tossed and turned, he couldn't sleep. Annoyance was high. High enough that he needed to get up out of bed and do something. The sheets were a tangle and sweaty, anyway.

He stomped down the hallway, ignoring one of the night shift engineers who tried to greet him. The slight hum of the lights annoyed him. Too bright. Too loud. Too white. Why was it that everything on the ship was _too_ something? The urge to break something was rising. Just one good swing at something breakable to get the rage out. He turned the corner into the break room and prayed the coffee wouldn't be too something.

"Hey, Bones. Welcome to 3 A.M. Chess Club."

The doctor blinked into the light, shocked to find Anya and Jim bent over a chess board. "What're you two doing in here? Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"Three A.M.," Anya replied. "Zat's why it's ze three A.M. chess club, Decter." She and Jim exchanged glances and giggled.

"Really. What's going on here? Why are you so giggly? Are you taking drugs?" Leo scowled. "I'll get a hypo."

"Just coffee," Anya balked. "Neither of us could sleep."

Bones poured a cup of coffee and sat down at the table. "I won't ask."

"Bones," Jim laughed. "It's just chess."

Anya smirked as she took Jim's last rook. "Gotcha." He turned back to the chess board in disbelief. "What? How?"

The navigator held up her bishop and wiggled it at him.

"Fine." Jim sat back and stared at the board.

"You meet here... more than tonight?" Bones asked.

Anya and Jim nodded in unison.

"I can give you something for that, you know. Why aren't you sleeping? Again, feel free to not tell me if-"

"Nightmares," they answered at once.

Bones sipped his coffee. "I see. That's a far less pleasant answer than I was expecting, and still half suspect."

"That what brings you here? Flashbacks?" Jim asked, sliding his queen over a few spaces.

"No. I never even _got_ to sleep." He sighed and rubbed his face. The wasted night angered him. The wasted sleep angered him. Feeling so annoyed angered him. Knowing the cause for all of it but not being able to do anything about it angered him. "This sucks."

"We'll find a three person game to bring along, if you're going to be joining us," Jim said.

Bones sighed. "How long have you been doing this? How many hours of sleep have each of you been getting per night?"

"Not many. We play all night," Anya replied. "It's hard going back to sleep after coffee." She shrugged. "It does eets job. Besides, eef we weren't in here playing, we'd just be in our rooms tossing and turning."

"Listen, if you're having nightmares and can't sleep because of -" Leo trailed off and rubbed his face again. "Pavel."

"Zat's exactly why," Anya replied easily. "My brother was murdered. Of _course_ I can't sleep." She nodded to Jim. "He theenks eet's his fault for sending him on ze mission. Of course _he_ can't sleep."

Jim gave her a look, but she continued anyway. Anya frowned at the doctor. "Decter McCoy. I've seen you in ze hallways in ze middle of ze night. What's your problem? Why do _you_ feel so bad? Guilt because you couldn't save Pavel?"

Leo snapped his mug down on the table, but didn't say anything. He wanted to, but nothing came to mind. Instead, he crossed his arms and glared.

"I'm his seester. I can say it." Anya smirked. "Now. You haff my permission to quit feeling zat way. People die in StarSheeps. We all signed the form stating we understood zat death was a likely outcome of our commitment." She took a sip of coffee and moved a chess piece casually. "Pavel is gone. Eet was none of our faults. Of course eet feels bad. But it wasn't your fault, Decter." She turned to Jim, who was trying to focus on the chess board instead of her poignant words. "Or yours, Keptain."

Bones finished his coffee and abruptly left the table to let the mug clatter in the sink. "Yeah. Thanks."

Anya and Jim exchanged glances as Bones stood, leaning on the counter, his back to them.

"You all right, Bones?" Jim asked softly.

"Yeah." Bones turned around and nodded. "You two should get some sleep." He offered a less-stern-than-usual grimace. "Good night."

Jim watched him go, then looked back to the chessboard.

"Checkmate," Anya announced smartly.

"You're joking."

"You need more practice, Keptain. You always leave your queen exposed in ze same way." Anya finished her own coffee and yawned. "Maybe ze decter is right. Perheps we should try to sleep tonight."

"Yeah," Jim replied disheartenedly. "Let's."

The bridge crew cabins were all along the same hallway. Following 3 A.M. Chess Club meetings, Jim and Anya strolled back toward their respective cabins, chatting about this and that. Jim would pause as Anya punched in her security code, she'd wish him a good night, and he'd continue on toward his room. Tonight was different. Instead of punching in her code at her cabin, Anya paused and leaned against her door. She watched Jim, a knowing smile on her pale pink lips.

Everything about her was different. He'd fought against a navigator being assigned to the Enterprise so soon after Pavel's death, yet here she was. She'd blatantly disobeyed his orders before the entire bridge crew and gone to a planet to disarm a bomb. The insubordination had resulted in a near fatal space virus, but he sat at her bedside regardless. Everything about their professional relationship was much too casual: from the way she addressed him to the way she met him in her pajamas at three A.M. for chess and coffee. To top it off, they'd just stripped to their underwear and jumped off a waterfall.

If there were regulations about dating crew members, Jim didn't care. Anya Chekova had come out of left field and knocked him flat on his ass. And he liked it. And now she was standing there motionlessly, a smirk on her youthful face, silently daring him to break the silence.

He reached out slowly and swept a curl back from Anya's face before letting his hand rest at the back of her neck. "I didn't expect you."

"No one does," she replied coyly, reaching up and linking her long fingers behind his neck as if she'd done it a million times. "I knew exactly what I was getting into, though."

Jim's other hand found the small of her back. "How's that?"

"Ze last guy who had my job kept telling me I needed to meet zis captain of his. He thought we would hit it off." She shrugged. "I don't know, though. He also said you were good at chess and _zat's_ just not true."

Jim grinned as Anya's nose brushed against his. "I wouldn't be so sure about that. Checkmate," he murmured before pressing his lips to hers.


	18. Beaming Out

_Holy shit._

Jim awoke the next morning with his heart pounding in excitement.

 _I kissed her. Holy shit. And that smile she had afterward? Holy shit. Was that real?_

He jumped out of bed and wandered to the mirror. He ran a hand over his jaw and wondered if the whiskers had bothered Anya.

 _Holy shit._

He stumbled through the shower and into his uniform. He'd kissed plenty of girls. _Plenty._ But this was different. He _cared_ about this one. The realization felt oddly self-deprecating, but it was true.

 _Pavel told Anya about me. If that's not having his approval, nothing will be._

He grabbed his communicator from his night stand and started down the hall for the bridge. He couldn't remember if he'd made his bed or even brushed his teeth, but he didn't care. The butterflies in his gut practically carried him along.

 _Pavel liked me that much to want me to date his twin? Damn, he was a good kid. I'm glad he apparently liked me as much as I liked him. Fuck. Pavel._

He cleared his throat and swallowed down the lump in his throat.

 _I'd give anything to bring you back, even if that meant never getting to meet Anya. I hope you're up there somewhere, Chekov. I hope you're happy. I hope I'm doing okay by you. Your sister? Really? Is this okay, Chekov? Give me something._

He turned a corner and ran into Mr. Sulu. The cup of coffee in Sulu's hand toppled onto the floor. "Oh! Sorry!" Jim exclaimed.

Sulu waved a hand. "Don't worry about it. Even an old lady makes mistakes."

Kirk froze for a moment. His eyes brightened. _You've got to be kidding me, Chekov. I wasn't thinking you'd send an actual sign._ "You know who always used to say that?"

Sulu realized what he'd said and grinned. "Mr. Chekov. I probably picked it up from him. Most of those weird Russian sayings didn't make a lot of sense, but some of them stuck. Never thought I'd be dropping Russian proverbs in normal conversation."

"Yeah," Jim replied. He smiled widely. "Yeah, you probably did. Good to know there are little signs that Chekov's not far away, huh?"

"Absolutely, Sir."

Jim took his seat in the captain's chair and sighed happily. "It's going to be a good day, Mr. Spock," he announced.

The Vulcan raised an eyebrow. "Indeed."

* * *

Anya woke up and stretched. The foot she'd injured in the forest yesterday smarted, but wasn't as painful as she'd initially worried. It was her weekend and she had enjoyed sleeping in. It was nearly 10 o'clock in the morning. The only thing she had slated for the day was a crew member's baby shower at 11 o'clock. She could afford a few moment of daydreaming.

 _He kissed me._

She touched her lips.

 _Keptain Kirk kissed me._

She rolled over and cuddled against her pillow, suppressing a squeal. Not ready to get up and face reality, she closed her eyes and went back to sleep, easily drifting into slumber for the first time in months.

* * *

An hour later, she was leaning against a door frame eating a cupcake at a baby shower. Not where she'd have preferred to spend her day off, but pleasant enough. Across the engineering lounge, a couple of redshirts were proudly showing off their new infant. As Captain Kirk greeted them, they put the baby in his arms. He smiled widely at the tiny blue humanoid.

"Admit it."

Anya looked up. "Admit _what?_ " she replied slyly as Sulu leaned next to her. "I'm just standing here." She held up a cupcake. "Participating in ze festiwities."

Hikaru raised an eyebrow. "That look on your face? Yeah. It's how Pavel looked at Dr. Greenberg. The second he saw her, he got that dumbfounded look. It never left." He chuckled. "You Russians have to work on your poker faces. Someone's in love." Hikaru nudged her. "No shame in it. Kirk's a good man once you get past all the disrespect for regulation."

 _Was it that simple?_ A blush was firing itself up in Anya's cheeks. She cleared her throat. "What? _Me?_ I haff only known ze man for a few months. _"_

"You must think I'm stupid." Sulu watched Jim lift the baby above his head and make faces at her. Hikaru turned back to Anya, whose face had turned to mush. "That. Right there. Imagining a future together? Picking out baby names?"

"Hikaru!" Anya hissed.

"Just calling it like I see it. So when did you kiss?"

Anya nearly choked on her cupcake.

"I want to say it was sometime when you two were off alone in your underwear on the mission yesterday, but then again, it _was_ a mission. Not very conducive to romance. Plus, you were bleeding a little too profusely to stop and make out." He rubbed his chin in mock thought. "You look pretty well-rested. No 3 A.M. chess? Or maybe it's just the glow of love making you look like you got a full eight hours?"

Anya popped the rest of the cupcake in her mouth.

"Yep. Last night." Sulu grinned. "Way to go."

Anya continued to chew through the cake and shrugged. Pointing to her mouth and stuffed cheeks, she managed, "Can't talk, sorry." Crumbs exploded from her lips and Sulu stepped back to dodge them. "Not sorry," she continued.

"Captain," Sulu interrupted her loudly. Captain Kirk was strolling over. Anya wiped her mouth on her sleeve and forced the rest of the cupcake down her throat.

"Hey, Lady, Gentleman." Kirk clapped them each on the shoulder. "Cute baby. Have you held her yet?"

Sulu shook his head. "Not yet. I might just wait until after the shower. You know how these things are. When we had Demura here, I don't think I got to hold her that entire day."

Kirk nodded. "How's your foot, Anya?"

Anya nodded. "Just fine. Well, hurts, but could be worse!"

"Good." He nodded and tried not to grin too obviously at her.

Silence fell. Sulu cleared his throat to break it. "I'm back on the bridge. See you both later," he said, promptly turning and leaving the pair alone.

"What's up with him?" Jim asked.

Anya shrugged.

"Did you get back to sleep last night?"

 _Thank goodness he's doing ze talking._ Anya smiled and hoped she didn't have pink frosting on her teeth. "For once, yes."

"Me, too." Jim grinned and leaned against the wall next to her. His communicator called something out in his pocket. He took it out. "Kirk here. Say again?"

" _It's McCoy. Where are you? I've got a cadet's chart to run by you before we clear her for duty_."

"I'm just catching up with Chekov. I'll be back in a sec."

" _What's she doing up and about? I told her to rest her foot and stay off of it today. Well, since she's disregarding orders anyway, bring her along. I want to look at that injury."_

"Ooh, you're in trouble," Jim whispered, his hand over the microphone. "Okay, Bones. On our way."

Anya wrinkled her nose as they started toward the bridge. "He's going to be mad."

"Maybe, if he has to redo your stitches," Kirk shrugged.

Jokes and easy banter held up between the two until they reached the bridge, where Bones immediately sighed in mock annoyance. He enjoyed seeing Jim and the girl happy together, but she was _still_ stomping around on her injured foot. "Chekova, did you listen to _anything_ I told you?" Bones mused.

"Well, I," Anya thought. "I guess not. Sorry, Decter." She grinned sheepishly.

The look on Bones and Jim's faces alerted Anya to something happening before she felt it.

"I'm sorry," she quickly added. "I didn't mean-" she trailed off. _Something ees happening._ The familiar gut-churning sensation started at her abdomen but spread up and downward. She was being beamed somewhere. She looked for Scotty, who wasn't at a station. _No one_ was at a station that could beam her out. "Keptain?" she asked in confusion.

"Anya," Jim called as the gold swirls rushed over her body, taking her away an atom at a time. He spun. "Hey, hey. What's happening? Where's she beaming to?"

Scotty looked over and gasped. "Where's she going?"

Bones' face twisted into severe annoyance. "Can't go one day without something like this happening, can we?"


	19. Reaction

Sulu stared straight ahead at his station. Emotions were running wild amid crew members. Uhura was snapping at orders. Spock was trying to talk sense into everyone. Bones was screaming at Kirk, who was throwing out insane ideas. A thought butted in and Hikaru wished it hadn't: _This is just like when Pavel died._ He forced himself not to glance at the empty station next to him. It felt like a grave. It had been Pavel's seat. Then it was Anya's. Now it was empty again. _Not this time,_ Sulu vowed silently. _I won't lose another Chekov. I won't lose another navigator. I won't lose another friend._ He steeled himself, then looked back. "Orders, Captain."

"God damn it. Get her back!" Kirk paced the bridge so quickly he nearly slipped upon a hard pivot. "Shields up, Mr. Scott."

"They're up. But that's our technology, Sir," Scotty floundered. "I dunno how they got it." He scanned the screen. "I can't bring her back. They're scrambling the signal. I cannae see her!" His brow was furrowed in anger and concentration. "There's a planet there, and I'll bet anything that's where they beamed her from, but _how?_ How'd they get our technology? How'd they bypass our shields? _"_

"Beam me down," Kirk barked.

"Jim," Spock and Bones called at once.

"We can't risk losing anyone else," Uhura said sternly. "Not until we know what we're dealing with."

"Jim – you have no idea where she is," Bones shouted over the commotion.

"So someone find her!" Jim roared.

"There's a device being cloaked," Scotty exclaimed in bewilderment.

"What kind of device?" Spock asked.

"A ship?" Bones asked.

"You're not going to believe this," Scotty said. "It's a Federation vessel."

Sulu blinked. "This isn't great deja vu."

"There are no Federation ships in the vicinity," Spock pondered. "There are none unaccounted for in the entire Fleet."

Scotty narrowed his eyes. "Unless someone's piecing together the old Enterprise."

"What?" Uhura snapped. "It was in pieces after Kral shot us down. There's no way they could have gotten it onto another planet."

"There's a way they could scrapmetal it back together," Scotty replied. "Maybe they didn't fly it back; they beamed it. They towed it. There are plenty of ways."

"Uhura. Hail them," Kirk barked.

"Hailing, Captain."

* * *

 _Pavel is dead._

That had been the first thought upon waking for months now. This time, the thought quickly disappeared and made room for _Gde ya?_ Anya stopped, then reminded herself to think in Imperial Common. _Where am I?_

Everything rushed back. She'd been beamed away from the Enterprise and immediately knocked out- she hadn't even fully reformed when a hard blow in the back of the head had knocked her to the ground.

She looked around the room. It seemed to be a Federation vessel sick bay, but that didn't make sense. No one on the fleet would beam her out of the Enterprise. Besides, there were no ships on the radar, and especially not out this far into uncharted space.

"Hello?" she called softly.

The ship didn't appear to have power besides auxiliary lights run by a generator. _We must be on the ground somewhere,_ she groggily realized. "Hello?" she tried again.

A foreign tongue spoke harsh syllables from across the med bay.

"I don't speak Klingon," she replied nervously. She reached for her belt and realized she had neither a phaser nor communicator on her person.

A tall dark being snarled and replied in Federation Standard. "Of course you don't. Lazy human."

As he drew nearer, Anya recognized his raised facial structure as a Klingon. "Why am I here?" Anya asked, commanding her voice not to betray her fear.

"You don't ask questions, _girl_." The Klingon loomed over her, sneering. He landed a hard kick in her stomach.

Gasping for breath, Anya struggled to all fours. "Help," she wheezed to no one in particular. If it was a Federation ship, perhaps someone was around who could assist.

"No one here will help you." The Klingon grinned. "Here you will serve us until your captain comes for you." A cruel snarl twisted through his lips. "And serve us you will."

Chills ran down Anya's arms and back. _Serve?_ She looked up in disgust.

"You'd better hope he comes quickly."

"My captain?" Anya repeated. Jim would surely come storming onto the ship, likely dragging Dr. McCoy and Mr. Spock along with him. Anya realized she was being used as bait. "Why? Why couldn't you just have hailed us to talk to him? Isn't this a Federation ship? Surely you had ze capabilities." She looked around and knew she was right.

The Klingon kicked her again, this time his boot catching her ribs. She landed on the floor in a heap and whimpered as he stormed from the room. The doors slid shut with a mechanic whirring.

Shame and sorrow soaked in. Pavel was gone and now Anya had left his seat open once more; failing the Enterprise crew and breaking its collective heart once more.

* * *

"Their communications aren't on, Captain," Uhura replied after several unsuccessful attempts to hail the unknown Federation vessel.

"I've locked on to their location," a second-string navigator replied. "The coordinates are on the screen."

Jim whipped his head and stared at the numbers. "We're beaming down."

"I believe your judgment is being compromised by your feelings for the Commander, Captain," Spock challenged him.

"You want us to just leave?" Kirk snapped. "We're getting her back. I'm not losing another crew member. I'm sure as hell not going to have them stolen out of the god damn ship." He nodded to the Vulcan. "You. Lieutenant Uhura, you speak Klingon?"

She nodded and rose. "Yes, Captain."

"Who else is coming? We're going right now." Jim stormed to grab his away gear, not expecting anyone to follow him. A stirring sounded behind him. He turned to see who had volunteered and felt a warm hand on his heart. The entire bridge crew had volunteered.


	20. Forward, Sideways, Backward

Time had passed. Her stomach was growling. Bruises were blossoming on her thighs on the exposed skin between her boots and gold dress hem. No one had restrained her, so Anya had crawled onto a biobed while she tried to come up with a plan. Instead, shock had lulled her to sleep.

Footsteps echoed through the med bay, jarring her awake. She held her breath and tried to keep it long and even. _Not even a Klingon could kill a sleeping human, right?_

A Klingon snarl from behind her broke the silence. "Where is he?"

Anya opened her eyes and weighed possibly responses.

"You are in our territory – no matter which quadrant and no matter how far, the Federation always comes and takes what is ours. Now that we have something of his, and he doesn't come."

Sitting up slowly, Anya shook her head. "Zat's not true – we're only here to explore. We didn't know you vere-"

"An entire planet was ripe for harvest. So many resources! Your _captain,_ " he spat the word, "sent down a technician to disable our weapon. _Years_ of work. _Years_ of effort. Gone because of one of your captain's men."

A pang of grief sank into her heart. _Pavel._

The Klingon didn't notice. "We set a smaller weapon on another planet in that same system. Your captain sent down more technicians to disable that one, as well. Tell me, human, if your captain isn't hunting us down, then what are you doing?" He loomed over her again.

"We're exploring," Anya replied calmly. "We receiffed distress calls from zese people and we assisted zem."

The Klingon was glaring at her as if trying to read her mind. Just in case, Anya focused her thoughts on their five-year mission to explore. "We are only trying to learn and discower places."

"This system is claimed for Klingon."

"We did not know."

"Now you do. And your _captain_ is about to learn that the hard way." He smiled cruelly before kneeling next to her. "Tell me, Human, what is your name?"

"Ensign Anya Chekova."

"Engisn Anya Chekova," he repeated. "Your captain will come for his crew member. He will come for you, especially. Of that I am certain." He sneered.

"Especially-?"

"Do not play dumb," the alien snarled again. "You belong to Captain James Kirk. When he comes to claim what is his, I will get payback for what was supposed to be mine."

* * *

The shuttle hovered to the ground and shuddered to a stop.

On board, Sulu, Spock, Bones, Uhura, Scott, and Captain Kirk took a deep breath before standing from their seats. How he'd convinced the crew to come along with, Jim couldn't figure. Sure, he'd have gone after any crew member, but he knew he personally had to come for Anya.

"Captain, may I make a suggestion?" Spock stood calmly with an eyebrow arched.

"Yeah, yeah. Let's hear it." Jim looked up, for once eager to her his first mate's plan.

"Since Mr. Scott would be the most familiar with the workings of the former Enterprise, he will lead a team on the rescue mission. Dr. McCoy and Lt. Uhura should make up that team to assist Ms. Chekova and communicate with her captors if necessary."

"Me, too," Sulu interrupted. "I'll go with them, too." He held up his phaser. "There's no way I'm letting them take another of my navigators. Not this time. No way."

Jim nodded. "Agreed."

Spock nodded toward the captain. "That will leave you and I to cause a diversion to draw out any potential guards."

Jim took a breath and gave a firm nod. "That's the plan. Stay with your team. I'm not leaving here without the entire crew. _Alive._ " The door _whooshed_ open and he stepped out. Jim felt somewhere between confident and nervous, but tried to portray the former only. Before them stretched a large rocky landscape. Two hundred yards away, nestled among rocky formations, lie the skeleton of a federation starship. "That's got to be where she is. If it's not, it's a good place to start."

Bones jumped out of the shuttle behind him and the pair was immediately blown back inside as a fiery blast rocked the shuttle.

"Booby traps!" Scott exclaimed as he stumbled back to his feet. "I've read about this! Hang on! Everyone stay in the ship!" He dug through his bag and pulled out a device as Jim and Bones brushed themselves off.

"Land mines?" Uhura asked in disbelief. "It's so primitive."

"Placed by the Klingons or the natives?" Jim barked.

"Hang on, hang on." Scotty turned on the tablet and pointed it out the door. "Aye, the land's full of them. Explosives. Follow me and we'll be able to get to the ship. Don't let one toe get out of line unless ye want to leave it behin', got it?" With the tablet held in front of him as a guide, the engineer carefully made his way around boulders and mines. The team carefully followed, taking care to place their feet on the exact spots his feet had trodden.

"That's the Enterprise," Uhura breathed as the ship loomed nearer.

Scotty's face had gone pale. "Her, ghost, aye."

"You're tellin' me those bastards grabbed the scraps of the Enterprise we left behind and brought it here?" Bones asked incredulously.

"Aye, that's what it seems," Scotty replied. "They musta been able to restore power – otherwise beaming Chekova wouldn't have been possible. Impressive for a species who only cares about war."

"Hold it down," Jim hissed as they neared the ship. "Let's not give them a chance to pick us off one by one, huh?"

The group walked in silence; the only sounds was the gravel crunching underfoot. Jim was certain the crew on the bridge were watching their vitals on the screen all spike. Blood pressure. Pulse. Heart rate. Definitely all in the yellow by now.

"I hate this," Bones hissed. He was by far the jumpiest of the crew: his phaser swinging wildly back and forth at every imagined sound. When they finally took cover behind a large rock formation, he exhaled.

"Don't even try saying this isn't your job," Jim commented with a smirk. "You're here because you're a doctor and Anya may need you."

"Yeah, yeah," Bones growled as Uhura laughed nervously.

"All right," Jim said seriously. He nodded to Spock. "We'll draw out the guards. Go find her."

* * *

 _It's now or never._

Anya knew her time was short. If Jim came, they'd both be killed. If he didn't come, she'd be killed and the Klingons would find some sort of other bait and _then_ kill him. It was time to act.

She crept along the empty, darkened ship halls. They were very familiar to her- familiar enough that she knew where the armory should be. Anya crept down the hallways, surprised to find some of them had been broken off completely. _This ship has seen better days,_ she thought as she turned back and found another way toward the weapon vault. The weapons were all gone, however- as was the room they were stored in. It too had been blown off at some point – now only gaping hole led to rocky land outside. "Shit," she mumbled.

Footsteps from around the corner alerted her to a sentry's presence. She quietly backed out of the hallway and onto the rocky ground. Something on the outside of the ship caught her eye.

 _USS Enterprise._

Anya froze and stared. _The Enterprise?_ She considered herself a smart woman, yet the pieces weren't lining up. She'd just been in the Enterprise and had beamed out of it and down here to… the Enterprise? The ship was cold and solid; clearly not an illusion. She blinked and tried to work out whether she'd been beamed through space _and_ time, or perhaps into the future. Trying not to think of the rest of the crew's fate, she crept forward.

" _There she is!"_

She'd been spotted. Anya started to run away from the broken Enterprise, but a guard dropped down from somewhere outside the ship and collided with her. She cried out in determination before she hit the ground. _I will not die here.  
_

* * *

"We need a diversion. A diversion. Okay. Think." Jim paced within the approved mine-free area as Spock watched. The rest of the away team had entered the remnants of the old Enterprise. Now Captain Kirk paced, knowing they needed a diversion minutes ago.

"I believe your answer is just outside of your current path," Spock commented suddenly.

"What? Come on, none of this high-falootin' Vulcan talk. There's no time." Jim sighed. "Do you have an idea?"

"We trigger the mines. According to Mr. Scott's readings, if we trigger one of them in this area, the vibrations and debris will likely trigger the rest of them." Spock pressed his fingertips together, pleased with his plan.

"Yeah, okay, but how do we make sure we don't get blown up?" Jim scratched his chin.

"I believe if we were to launch a projectile toward the mine at the further end of the field-"

"Got it!" Kirk grinned. He picked up a rock and heaved it as far as he could. The rock spiraled through the air like an asymmetrical football.

"This would have been best done when we were prepared!" Spock called as explosions immediately shook the ground.

Pebbles and dust swirled in the air as explosions occurred. Spock's domino effect theory had been correct- each land mine set off another land mine. The pair ran for the cover of the old Enterprise, as no mines appeared to have been planted near it. As predicted, a trio of Klingon guards appeared through a ship doorway, conversing angrily with each other. Spock and Kirk easily knocked them down with phaser blasts.

"That cannot be the entirety of their security force," Spock commented.

"It's not," a gruff voice from above them snarled. A Klingon had appeared from on top of the ship wreckage. He launched himself at the human and Vulcan, but missed when they split down the middle.

Jim aimed his phaser, but as the Vulcan somersaulted to get back on his feet, he suddenly disappeared. Recoiling with a look of confused horror on his face, Jim blurted, "Where'd he go?"

"It appears there's some sort of wormhole," Spock replied. "Fascinating."

"Fascinating? I didn't even see it. How do we know we aren't going to walk right into one?" Jim worried. He pulled out his communicator and barked, "Kirk here. Watch out for invisible portals. Just saw one of them get sucked into it and he hasn't reappeared yet."

"Great," Bones snarled back. "Absolutely perfect."

"Have you found Anya?" Jim asked anxiously.

"No," Bones replied. "We'll let you know when we do."

* * *

Anya rolled over and snatched wildly, hoping to pull the gun from the Klingon's grasp. Her eyes grew wide and she gasped. Instead of the light blue sky above her, there was a white ceiling. The rocky ground beneath her had been replaced with a soft carpet. Her uniform was gone. In its place, casual clothes. The unfamiliar smell of new vegetation that had swirled in the air was gone, replaced by the aroma of cookies baking. She jumped to her feet and blinked in utter disbelief. Her childhood bedroom had appeared around her. Her Klingon captor had gone. Cautiously, Anya reached out and gingerly felt for the bed. It was solid under her fingertips. "Hello?" she whispered, fearing she'd fallen into a trap or somehow lost her mind.

Everything was exactly as she'd left it the last time she'd been on Earth, staying with her parents for Pavel's funeral.

She surveyed her body. Everything seemed in tact. The only reason she could fathom being back here was having run into an accident, spending time in a coma on the Enterprise, and somehow being released into her parents care. There was no sign of her uniform, phaser, or communicator. "Hello?" she called softly, venturing to her door and pushing it open.

Her mother's cookies were baking downstairs – that was obvious from the delicious smell that intensified as she slowly crept toward the staircase. Various voices carried up to her. _If I'm injured, why are my parents throwing a party?_

"Hello?" she called again, taking each step at a time, fearing they'd fall through and reveal themselves to be part of an elaborate Klingon trap.

"Hello? Are you all right up zere?" her mother's laughing voice came. "We thought you got lost looking for eet."

"Looking for vhat?" she called back, creeping ever as slowly through the house. Everything seemed perfect. Nothing looked, felt, or smelled wrong, as illusions sometime did. _But I was just on a mission. The Klingons-?_ She walked down the hallway toward the family room, where her parents would be. Where they would be if this was actually Russia. If she was really on Earth. Unless she'd lost her mind, then who knew what terrors would await her. "I don't know what you mean."

"Ze second deck of cards, Anya! For as much as you say I haff space brain, you're sure still a little scrambled."

Anya froze. She would recognize that voice among a thousand voices chattering at once. It was the voice of her dead twin. Her fingers found her face as distrust and disbelief wrapped around her. _I feel real. But what is happening?_

"I'll check on her," a voice came.

Anya struggled to place the speaker until she appeared in the hallway. "Hey," Dr. Cat Greenberg greeted her. Her hair was wound up in a braid that rested on her head like a crown. Red lips smiled kindly at her. Like Anya, Cat was wearing jeans instead of her uniform. "Are you all right?"

"No," Anya whispered, backing away. "How did we get here?"

"Anya," Cat spoke slowly and calmly. "We're are your parents' house. You hit your head outside yesterday on the ice. Do you know what day it is?"

Shaking her head, Anya reached up. There was no bump on her head or any indication she had a concussion. "Eet's – eet's Sunday. Right?"

"Yes," Cat smiled. "What more? What holiday is it?"

She blinked. "Holiday?" She'd certainly lost track of time in space. _But what eef I wasn't actually on ze Enterprise?_

"Is she all right?" another voice came.

"No," Anya whispered in disbelief. "Ees zat- ees Captain Kirk here? Why ees he at my parents'?" She reached up and touched her face again. As before, it was solid. She pinched her hand. It hurt. _Ees zis real?_

"It's all right," Cat said soothingly. "You're all right. Let's have you lie down, yeah?" The doctor reached out and wrapped an arm around the small of her back. "Let's just have you hang out on the couch, okay?"

"Okay," Anya whispered. _None of it was real?_ Her heart thudded out of time and the pounding pushed itself into her throat and ears. "I- I-" Her tongue turned to stone and she nearly fell to her knees when Dr. Greenberg ushered her into the living room.

Suddenly, she knew what holiday it was. It was Christmas. Every Christmas the Chekov family pulled out the card table and played games until the early morning. The tradition had started when she and Pavel were in Academy. Now, her parents, Pavel, and Captain Kirk were sitting around the card table. Two empty spots awaited her and Dr. Greenberg.

"Anya?" Jim asked, standing. "Is she okay? Is it her head?"

"Yeah," Cat replied. "Here, let's get her feet up."

Suddenly, Anya was being lifted onto the couch. She hadn't even realized she was moving. _Did I walk myself over here?_ Her eyes were locked on the ghost in the room.

Pavel was staring quizzically at her. "I thought you felt better?" He frowned. "Zis isn't a game for an odd number. We need teams!"

"Pavel," their mother scoffed. "Your seester has a concussion. Be nice to her."

"He's right," their father chuckled. "We'll haff to find new game."

"Pavel," Anya whispered. Her eyes watered and her heart seemed to stop beating. _Zis place isn't real. Zis isn't real._ "Pavel?"

"Yeah?" Pavel sat down his glass of vodka and raised an eyebrow at her. "What ees it?"

Tears fell from her eyes. She couldn't identify which emotion they were stemming from. She felt all of them. Thankfulness. Fear. Confusion. Elation. "Are you okay?"

"Anya," Jim consoled her. "What's going on?"

Pavel chuckled. "I'm fine. You're ze one with ze scrambled head."

Anya blinked back and forth between everyone in the room. "Are – are you sure?"

"Cat, what's wrong with her?" Her mother had now risen and perched on a chair next to the couch. "She was fine a meenute ago."

"She might have bumped her head again upstairs. It's very possible she lost her balance and jostled herself again. In a concussed state, it wouldn't take much of a bump to cause confusion." Cat disappeared for a moment, then reappeared and flicked a flashlight across Anya's eyes. "Anya, can you tell me what we did this afternoon?"

"No," Anya replied. "I was on ze ship zis afternoon." Fear washed over her. "Decter- am I crazy?" She looked back to Pavel. "He's not- he isn't here. He can't be here! Mama, tell her."

"Hey," Jim interrupted her. "You're right. He wasn't here this afternoon. Neither was I. We were out with your dad. You and Cat were here." He brushed hair back from her face. "It's all right. You're safe." He bent and kissed her forehead. "You had a nasty spill. You're going to be fine. Cat's here. She's a doctor, remember?"

 _Eef Pavel never died, I never met Jim._ "Where- where do I work?" she stuttered. Nothing fit together. She tried to sit up, but Jim pushed her back down.

"Easy, easy," he called.

"Andrei," her mom called. "I _told_ you to go get ze cards. Now look! She's worse zen before."

"Pavel," Anya cried out. Tears spilled down her cheeks. "Help me. I don't understand – I don't, I don't know what's happening." She reached out and hugged him when he finally came to kneel by her on the couch.

"Anya," he consoled her. "You're perfectly fine. I'm fine. We brought Keptain Kirk and Decter Cat back home for Christmas so they could meet mama and papa. They _like_ them!" He laughed in surprise. "Ewerything ees _more_ zan okay!"

"I still don't think your dad likes me," Jim huffed under his breath.

Pavel laughed loudly and Anya closed her eyes, hoping if this was a trap, she could just stay here.


	21. Caught Up

"Portals? Great, just great," Bones snarled. He scowled at Uhura. "We're already on a planet we know nothing about with a bunch of aliens that want to kill us and kidnapped our navigator. Of all the things that could go wrong, _now_ we've got _portals._ "

"They can't exist on the ship itself," Scotty muttered to himself, his eyes squeezed shut as he thought. "As long as we stay in here, we'll be okay."

Dr. McCoy sneered. "Yeah, with the homicidal aliens with the planet-destroying bombs. Great plan."

"Shh!" Scotty hissed. He pulled out a tablet and scanner the area. "I'm getting readings of life forms all over the place." He peeked around a corner, then looked back at his tablet.

Sulu held his phaser tight. He'd usually preferred to stay behind the scenes and sit back during missions, but this time he was ready. "We'll take them out," he said in a low voice.

Uhura looked at him in surprise, then nodded.

"Nae, this can't be right. It says there are two right on top of us." Scotty squinted at the tablet and rotated it this way and that. "That cannae be right."

After a moment of listening, Sulu pointed upward. "On the roof."

"Ah. That'll explain it, then." Scotty crept forward. "If I were them, I'd probably be keepin' the wee lass in the-" He didn't finish his sentence. Klingon shouting from around the corner broke out. Stomping followed. The noises led away from the Enterprise crew.

"She must be escaping," Uhura whispered.

"Then let's go!" Sulu turned the corner. Several yards ahead of him, three Klingon guards were thundering down the hallway toward a huge gaping hole in the ship. Outside, a smaller figure - _Anya! -_ was moving away from the ship. "There she is!" he exclaimed. "Set phasers to kill!" A wild shot ricocheted off the hallway from behind him. "What the hell was that?" he snapped.

"I'm a doctor, not a soldier," Bones groaned as he leveled the weapon and fired off another shot.

Two of the Klingons in their way had fallen. Anya was still running away from them, toward the boulders.

"The landmines!" Uhura called out. "Anya! Stop!"

Anya seemed to slow, but a Klingon launched itself from the top of the ship, its outstretched arms wrapping around Anya.

Sulu roared. His feet carried him forward without his brain having to order the move. Anya hadn't even hit the ground. She never did. She simply disappeared. Sulu fell to his knees. "What? No!"

Scotty looked at his screen and shook his head. "I can't detect it- I- I don't know where she went."

"Hey, Jim," Bones spoke nervously into his communicator. "Do we know where these portals go?"

" _No, why? You force some Klingons into one? Good work, Bones!"_

"No, Chekova just went through one."

* * *

Anya sat in the window seat and watched snow swirl outside. It was Christmas. She didn't know which year. Somewhere in her parents' house her family, plus her boyfriend and Pavel's girlfriend were chatting merrily. It was surreal. She'd needed an escape to work through the situation.

Last she'd known, she was on the USS Enterprise, on her way to the bridge to have Dr. McCoy look at her injured foot. (To make her further question her sanity, her foot showed no sign of trauma now.) She'd been beamed _somewhere_ : a version of the Enterprise that had been blown up to the point that she could not fly or function. Anya hadn't known whether it was the past or the future, but now she was in some alternate dimension where Pavel was alive. It was too much to try to think through.

"You're quiet," Pavel commented from behind her. "Does your head still hurt?"

The interruption to the silence made her jump. "No, actually."

Pavel moved a pile of pillows and got comfortable next to her. "Zen vhat ees it? You haff been wery strange since yesterday." He traced a pattern in the mist on the window.

 _Yesterday._ Anya had been certain that when she went to sleep, she'd wake up back on the right Enterprise in the right time in the right dimension. Instead, she'd woken up in her parents' house in her old bed with Jim Kirk sleeping shirtless next to her as if it was something that happened regularly.

"Anya."

She sighed and glanced up. Looking at Pavel had been painful and strange. He'd been dead for months, or he was where she'd come from. She half expected him to morph into a Klingon or for his flesh to fall off. It was simply too good to be true that she found a dimension in which he lived. "Brother."

"Seester. Are you and ze keptain fighting? He theenks you're being weird, too."

"No," Anya replied. She looked back out the window. Fat, fluffy snowflakes were lazily floating through the air. "I'm just in ze wrong dimension, I theenk."

Pavel sat up straight. "Vhat?" Worry flashed across his face. "Vhy? All of us? Everything here seems fine – I-"

"Just me," Anya corrected him. She hadn't meant to say it, but at least Pavel hadn't laughed at her.

"But eef you were in an alternate dimension, we could be, too. We were all on ze ship together." Pavel looking out the window, his mind clearly formulating theories and calculations.

"Just me," Anya repeated. "I can't explain, but I guess I'm here now." She frowned. "I hope ze crew isn't looking for me back in _my_ dimension." Since finding herself in this pseudo-Russia, Anya had learned that in this dimension, she and Pavel both served as navigators for the USS Enterprise. They worked different shifts. How someone would have convinced her to give up teaching at the Academy, she wasn't sure. Clearly something had worked out much differently.

"Zat makes no sense. Eef you were from a different dimension, zere would be an Anya Prime here already." Pavel blinked at her. "Are you sure? Zis could just be your concussion-"

"Perhaps," Anya shrugged. "I don't know. I can't explain eet. Don't tell ze keptain or decter," she added quickly. "Or mama and papa! I don't want anyone to think I'm crazy." She frowned. "I'm glad you're here."

"So een zis other dimension – am I with Cat?" He smiled and raised an eyebrow.

Anya swallowed and nodded without looking at him. "She ees wery much in love with you in zis dimension, and ze other, Pavel."

"Good." Pavel pulled a small box from his pocket. "I'm going to ask her to marry me tonight." He showed his twin a sparkling diamond ring. "Ees old fashioned, but zat's the kind of girl she ees. I hope she says yes." He sighed. "Mama likes her. Oh, and she likes Keptain Kirk, too."

"How serious are we? In my world, eet is wery new. Do you like him?"

Pavel gave her a look that questioned whether she was serious or not.

"I'm being serious," Anya added. "Whether I'm right about ze other dimension, or I hit my head too hard- I don't remember."

"You and ze keptain started seeing each other ze same time Cat and I did. I'm ze one who suggested eet! So we went on a double date."

"Oh, no. He's not going to propose, ees he?"

"Eef I knew, do you theenk I would spoil ze surprise?" He tutted. "Vhat kind of twin would I be?" Pavel sat back against the window and grinned mischievously.

"Ze kind whose mind I can practically read, anyway," Anya smiled and studied his face. After a moment, she sighed in relief. "He's not going to. Or eef he is, you know nothing about eet." She suddenly realized how thick her accent was becoming. Somehow she'd forgotten that her conversations with Pavel used to start in Federation Standard, slowly and unknowingly devolve into thick Russian accents, then eventually give way to Russian words, phrases, and finally, all Russian. "I missed you," she suddenly blurted.

"Missed me?" Pavel repeated. "In zis other dimension, are we not together?"

Anya looked down again. "No."

"What happens?" Pavel shook his head. "What would happen zat we don't work together?" His face paled a bit. "Does- does one of us..."

"I-I'm an instructor at ze Academy," Anya interrupted. There was no reason Pavel should have to reflect upon his own death. She tried not to get emotional. Even though part of Anya still suspected this was an elaborate trap, she wanted to throw herself ad her brother and hug him tight. "Zat's all," she continued. "I'm just an instructor. Not a navigator."

"And I'm on ze Enterprise? With Cat?"

Anya nodded. "Aye."

"Vhell, vhy are you so sad, zen? I'm sure we talk! Don't we? We must! Where vould my leetle seester be without my adwise?" He chuckled.

"I'm only a minute younger!"

"A whole minute behind, forever." Pavel nudged her leg with his. "Cheer up. In any dimension we are twins. No one can take zat away. Whether we are on ze same ship, same planet, same quadrant, or at opposite ends of ze uniwerse – we'll always be connected." He reached over and slung an arm around her. "I promise."

Anya wiped a tear away.

"Hey, stop zat! I mean it! No matter vhat, I'll never be far away." Pavel reached over and slapped at her hair braid, knocking it over her shoulder. "So unless you're crying because you're stuck with me forever, zen knock it off."

* * *

Jim watched as Sulu anxiously paced, swore, snapped at anyone who spoke to him, and generally was an asshole to everyone.

Spock and Jim had made their way back to the away team, who were still gathered just outside the old Enterprise where Anya had disappeared into a portal. Neither materials nor lifeforms disappeared when they moved through the exact space Anya had disappeared from, so Scotty and Spock were busy determining where and how portals were able to move, and where they led to. The rest of the crew had cut through any Klingon who passed by. Uhura hadn't gotten a chance to figure anything out by speaking to them. _Dead men tell no tales._

Sulu pounded his fist against the side of the ship. "Where the fuck did she go?"

"Don't hurt yourself," Bones snarled.

"Bones, cool it," Jim quickly said. "Mr. Sulu, you, too. We're going to figure it out. Anya's strong and smart. What's more – she's alive and didn't seem to be injured. We just need to figure out where she went and get her back. Easy, right?" He pursed his lips and hoped the rest of the team had more confidence than he did. Putting on his "captain" face was much easier than dealing with the very real possibility that Anya could be lost to them. His abdomen was clenched tight to try to squish out any unpleasant knots that would have formed otherwise. Panic wouldn't help them. Unfortunately, he nearly laughed to himself upon realizing it, logic was the only way to go. "Mr. Spock, we need to find out a way to find one of these portals and map where they're going."

Sulu snorted. "You know how many places there are in the universe? You want to know the odds that we'll miraculously be able to find her and bring her back?" He turned and stalked toward Kirk. "Why do you look like you don't care where she is?" He gave the captain a rough shove. "She loves you, you know? And here you don't even give a fuck."

"Hey, easy," Uhura called.

Bones and Spock exchanged glances. They both knew better than to get involved. Instead, they simultaneously crossed their arms over their chests and stood back.

Jim recovered and shook his head. "We're down here because I give a fuck." He held his hands up. "Keeping our heads on straight is the only way we'll get her back. We have to think this throu-"

"You never think about anything. You just _do_. Now when it matters, you're waiting around?" Sulu shoved him again. "You're using her. I knew you didn't care about her." He threw a punch that caught Jim in the cheek. "You think you're just going to love her and leave her like all the girls on shore leave?" He struck out again, this time catching the captain in the jaw. "Fuck that. She's my friend. She deserves better than you."

"Hikaru!" Uhura cried, stepping forward to pull him away.

He roughly shoved her back and locked his attention back on Captain Kirk. "Fuck you. Do something. You're the captain!" He struck out again, but Jim dodged the blow. "Come on!" Sulu hollered, spit flying from his mouth. "Hit me!"

Jim shook his head. Blood dripped from his lips and his left cheekbone was bright red already. "No, Mr. Sulu." He wiped his mouth and a bright red streak stained the back of his hand. "We're not going to beat the hell out of each other. We're going to get Anya back alive."

Sulu's teeth were bared and his lip quivered above them. "Then _do something._ " He stood down and scowled at the rest of the crew. "What?" he snapped.

Scotty cleared his throat. "So. Who wants to do some portal calculations, then?"


	22. Staying

It felt good to have Jim in bed next to her. The captain's back was to her and he was curled up and nestled tight under the blankets. He'd finally admitted the Russian winter was more intense than the cold in Iowa. That didn't stop him from sleeping in just his boxers- he swore he couldn't sleep with pants. Anya touched his bare back and felt a primitive pride at the long scratches running parallel to his spine.

They'd made love – tantalizingly slow and passionate, then harder and wilder – for what Anya deduced was _not_ the first time in this dimension, Captain James T. Kirk seemed to be an expert at what she liked. Where she'd come from, they'd only just shared a kiss during at 3 A.M. chess club. She wasn't complaining - the night had been incredible.

She'd trembled, laughed loudly, and cried out as she came. The ruckus had prompted Cat to pound on the shared bedroom wall from the other room, and Pavel to groan, "Keptain, zat's my _seester_ you're killing in zere!" Jim, horrified yet laughing, sent over a quick text message assuring Pavel that they'd keep their nighttime shenanigans to a dull roar for the remainder of the visit.

Now Anya was tracing the scratches down Jim's back and as always, wondering what was happening _home_. This life was spectacular and perfect. She had Jim. She had Pavel. She had her job on the Enterprise. Yet it wasn't her life. This Jim wasn't _her_ Jim. And as to where this dimension's Anya was? Well, that was troubling, too.

She had been here at her parents' house on leave from the Enterprise for a few days. The Enterprise was having maintenance done, granting the crew a month long shore leave over the winter holidays. Anya wondered if the crew back home was searching for her, if there was anything left of her other dimension body. Had she died? Was her body incinerated? The thoughts had piled on top of each other and left her wondering if this was real, fantasy, Heaven, or _other_.

Pavel had offered several theories, but agreed that it _was_ possible she had been tossed into this dimension and simply bumped the "other" Anya from her body. The ideas made Anya's head hurt. While concerned, Pavel had tried to remain positive, ensuring her that things would work out one way or another, whether she lived here now, or miraculously returned to her own dimension. "Either way, here or zere," he'd offered, "you're with us." Anya had nodded and said nothing.

"Mmm," Jim suddenly sighed as he rolled back over to face her. "You awake?" he mumbled as his eyes opened a crack. He wound his arms around her and pulled Anya into his chest. "C'mere."

She closed her eyes and smelled the familiar scent of his skin and wondered if it would really be so bad to stay here.

* * *

"Smarts a bit, huh? That was a solid hit," Bones commented as he looked at Jim's bleeding lip. He glanced over at Sulu, who was sitting on a boulder with his head in his hands. He turned back to the captain. "Doesn't need stitches. Give it a day. And maybe give _him_ some time, too."

"He's right," Jim sighed, glancing at his pilot. Sulu had punched him twice in anger. Jim understood - they all cared about Anya and couldn't stomach the thought of having another Chekov die. "I don't even blame him. If there was something to do, I'd do it. What _do_ I do? She's been gone five minutes and I still have nothing." He ran a hand through his hair. "C'mon, Bones. Even Spock doesn't have a plan. What if we can't-"

"We'll get her back," Bones interrupted firmly.

Jim nodded and remembered he wasn't the only one who had a hard time with Pavel's death. "Yeah. Yeah. Unless it's a series of portals, she's likely just hanging out somewhere trying to figure out how to get back." He grinned. "Maybe she'll figure it out herself and we won't even have to do anything, huh?" The thought was tempting to believe, but Jim knew better. Portals were tricky. "She's smart. She'll stay alive."

"It's hard to say how smart she is," Bones replied. "After all, she's caught up with the likes of you."

A few yards away, Nyota perched next to Sulu on the boulder. "Hey. We'll figure something out." She squeezed his knee. "We're all thinking the same thing. But we're not going to lose her, too."

"How do you know?" Hikaru asked. He looked up at her through teary eyes. "She's already lost. Maybe she's alive, sure, but she's gone to who knows where and there's no way we'll be able to find out."

"Scotty will figure it out," Uhura replied confidently. "We've got the best team in the entire Federation. They're going to figure it out." She nodded to where Scotty and Spock were bent over computing devices and arguing about calculations and portals. "They just need a little time."

"I punched Jim. Twice." A hint of a smile tugged at the corners of his lips.

Uhura giggled. "I can't say we all haven't wanted to do that before." She nudged him. "Cheer up. You heard him. We're not leaving here without the entire crew."

Sulu sighed and looked back down at his boots. "I hope not."

* * *

"I need your help," Anya's mother confessed quietly in the kitchen over breakfast the next morning. "I don't know how zese American parties work. Ees zat what Decter Cat would be expecting for ze wedding? Pavel said she doesn't have family left, so ze vedding vill be here. And zey want to do eet before you leave again!" She shook her head and threw up her hands. "Zis ees crazy. An American vedding in a month!"

"She will like whatever you do, Mama," Anya replied. "Cat's wery easy to get along with. I'm sure she won't be a bridezilla."

Jim passed through the kitchen and pecked her on top of the head. "Dubroe utro, Mrs. Chekov," he said to her mother, winking.

"Wery good," she laughed. "But please! How many times must I ask? Call me Dima."

"Dima," Jim repeated with another wink.

"Ask heem," Anya suggested as she surveyed the pile of fresh waffles on the counter. "You haff never made zese before. Mama, you're certainly adapting to our American guests."

Dima chuckled. "Eet seems we'll haff zem around from here on out. Decter Cat, at least." She winked back at Jim. "Zat means I'll haff half-American grandchildren some day!" She sighed. "I just hope Pavel has zem eat Russian food. Otherwise zey'll come here and like nothing." She raised an eyebrow at Jim. "Remember zat. My grandchildren will be half Russian, too."

Jim laughed from the table and his own waffle. "Well, these are fine, so I don't think you'll have to worry. What are you supposed to ask me, Dima?"

"Vhat's an American vedding like?" Anya asked, sitting at the table next to Jim. "Mama's worried zat a Russian party will be different zan an American one." She shrugged. "I haff never been to any American one. I don't know."

Jim nodded. "Okay. I can help. Will there be drinks?"

"Off course," Dima scoffed. "But what else will she be expecting? I don't want her to be disappointed!"

"Drinks. Music. Flowers. A big white dress for her. Done. You've got yourself an American wedding." Jim stabbed the remainder of the waffle and folded it into his mouth. "Why don't you just ask Cat? Or Chekov? It's their thing. As a general rule of thumb, American guys don't care about weddings."

Dima sighed, crossed her arms over her chest, and muttered something in Russian.

"She says you're no help at all," Anya giggled.

"I'm learning Russian, I'll have you know," Jim argued. "One day you and Andre will be talking in Russian and I'll just sit here and smile because I can understand everything you're saying. You won't even know." He laughed.

"Oh, shush," Dima laughed. "If we had something bad to say about you, we vould tell you. Een English." She grinned.

"Now I know where you and Pavel get your sass," Jim chuckled to Anya. He got up and took another waffle from the plate.

"You Americans eat so much!" Dima scolded him. "How are you so slim?" She poked him in the stomach with a wooden spoon. "Vhere does a boy like you keep three waffles?"

Jim shrugged. "I grew up in Iowa. If you weren't well fed, you were worthless on the farm. Same for a star ship."

"Vhell," Dima laughed. "Zen you should be ze best captain you haff ever been, judging by ze fact zat you ate ze entire stack by yourself!"

Anya sat back and sipped her coffee as her boyfriend and mother playfully argued. _That's it. I'm staying een zis dimension._


	23. Flash Sideways

Hikaru blinked and tried to decide if they were joking. "Let me get this straight. You want to throw a _landmine_ through the next portal we find?"

Mr. Scott and Spock were nodding at each other as they discussed the probability of certain outcomes and Jim was emphatically cheering them on. Sulu glanced at Nyota, who seemed to be the only one who shared his hesitation.

Anya Chekova had been gone for ten minutes, lost through a portal. In that time the away team had struggled to come up with a plan to save her, but _had_ killed or sent the remaining Klingons through the portals or onto landmines.

"The portals are closing and opening. Anya went through a portal that disappeared," Scott explained as he drew with a stick in the dirt. "If we throw a mine through the next one, it might blow open _another_ portal so she can come back." Scott sat back on his boulder, satisfied. "It's the best plan we've got, lad."

"It's the _only_ plan we've got," Nyota sighed. "What if we injure her? Or whoever is on the other side of the portal? What if they're opening to Earth? To the Academy? Another starship? There's no way to know."

"We'd have been notified if a planet in our path was sending life forms back to Earth, Nyota," Spock suggested.

"Think about it. It could work." Jim nodded excitedly. "It can work. It _will_ work. It will blast open an opening so Anya can come back!"

Sulu blinked. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. You'll kill her."

Jim stared blankly at him.

Sulu sighed. "But I don't have a better idea. You better not kill her." He felt his nostrils flare. Minutes earlier he'd decked Captain Kirk in the face. He wasn't above doing it again.

"Kill her or _save_ her?" Bones rubbed his brow. "We don't know if she's in danger. It might be worth bombing whatever's on the other side." He huffed. "Who's to say there's not something worse than the Klingons past the portals?"

"It doesn't matter," Jim shrugged, uninterested. "The Klingons got what was coming to them. They killed my navigator and kidnapped my new navigator. We took them out. If Anya's in trouble on the other side, we'll take someone else out. She'll be safer with us coming after her." He locked eyes with Sulu. "We're going to get Anya back. Now, Mr. Scott. Find me a mine and a portal."

Sulu sighed and rubbed his temples. He could still lose another Chekov.

* * *

The shore leave at the Chekov residence had unfortunately come to an end.

As the twins and their partners hugged Dima and Andrei Chekov goodbye, Anya found herself more emotional than she ever had at a sendoff ceremony. Her mascara ran down her face as she blubbered in Russian to her parents. They had been confused as to her sudden emotional response, but hugged her and wished her an exciting but safe year in space. Pavel had thrown an arm around her and pulled her toward the shuttle to the Enterprise.

"Anya," Jim said softly. "Hey, what's wrong?" He trotted alongside the twins as they walked as a single conjoined unit.

Anya shook her head and sniffled, waving Jim away. "Eet's nothing." It seemed important to protect him from certain things. He was the captain – he didn't have time to worry about such silliness as her being from a different universe. _If that's even true,_ Anya thought much time had gone by that Anya had begun to worry she'd hallucinated the entire thing. There's been no sign of her crew of the mysterious portal that had brought her the "other universe" was just a hallucination born of her concussion. Maybe Pavel had never died. Anya wished she truly believe that. Deep down she knew it was real, and somewhere, Pavel was gone. Now she was a hysterical mess at the thought of going back to her own universe and never being a whole Chekov family again.

"Anya, come on, we've got the ceremony coming up and you've got to pull yourself together. I'd hate one of _my_ command to see you and call you unfit to fly." Jim bit his lip. "I know leaving home is tough, but-"

"Eet's nothing," Anya repeated, clearing her throat and sniffling more. She muttered something in Russian and Pavel nodded, his expression sympathetic.

"Come on," Jim sighed. "I don't know what's up, but I'd like to be in on the secret, guys." In the years he'd been romantically involved with Anya, he'd never felt so left out as he had over Christmas in Russia. He'd mentioned it to Cat, but she shrugged it off and didn't feel the same way. That didn't stop his jealousy. Pavel was privy to a side of Anya he hadn't unlocked yet. It made Jim feel like an outsider.

"Anya," he tried again. "Come on. Talk to me."

"Hey," Pavel said sternly. "Giff her a minute." He pulled his sister closer into his side.

"I-" Jim exhaled in exasperation. "All right. Fine. I'll see you after the ceremony." When Anya nodded at him, he couldn't help but smile. "We'll be all right. I love you."

As soon as he'd gone, Pavel squeezed Anya's shoulder. "Perheps you should tell him. Ze keptain feels bad. He knows zere's something he doesn't know."

"I can't tell him," Anya sighed. "He won't believe me."

"You might be surprised," Pavel replied. "Besides, I think he thinks we're _those_ kind of twins." He planted a fast, unromantic peck on her lips, cackled, and released her as she snapped out of her funk to protest in disgust. "Zat's better. Now _tell ze keptain."  
_

* * *

Bones was glaring at the captain. Jim noted it as Bones' usual glare that said _I'm annoyed but I'll probably go along with it. I'll also remember this to complain about later._

Had it been a less serious situation, Jim might have cracked a joke at Bones' expense. Instead, he just returned the glare. "We need steady hands," he said in his best captain voice. "We need fast hands."

"Damn it, Jim," Bones growled.

Scott rubbed his hands together. "It shouldn' be _that_ hard. It's not like we haven't done something like this before." He had a bag of tools slung around his hips and he was eying the minefield outside the broken down ship that was once the Enterprise before being used as a Klingon base. He looked back down at a tablet and held it out in front of him. The screen binked red and blue. "There's one righ' there, as a matter of fact. Ripe for picking!"

Nyota sighed. "Maybe there's another way."

"We've devised no other options, Nyota," Spock reminded her. "This is currently the only plan to bring Ensign Chekova back, dead or alive."

An uncomfortable prickle shot across the surface of Jim's skin. _Dead or alive._ "Alive. We'll bring her back alive. I don't know how many times I have to say that." His voice rose with his uncertainty and annoyance. "Anya's not dying. Not on my watch." He could feel the fear in the away team. Was doing nothing and hoping she was alive and well better than trying to blast her back? Jim couldn't decide. All he knew was that he couldn't stand the thought of losing another crew member. Especially Pavel's replacement. _Especially_ his sister. And maybe most of all, especially the woman he'd fallen in love with.

Bones sighed. "If I get blown to smithereens, tell my daughter-"

"You won't," Jim cut him off. "Go. Dig me up a landmine."

* * *

Life on the Enterprise went back to normal. In that universe, at least.

Everyone and everything felt mostly the same to Anya. Pavel guided her around, pointing out her cabin, his cabin, and other points of interest. Most things were the same as home.

"I don't theenk anyone will notice zis is not ze _real_ you," Pavel commented as they turned back toward the bridge to report for duty.

She'd shrugged. "No, I haff done ze job and vorked with ze crew. Eet should be fine. Besides, I _am_ ze real me!" She wrinkled her nose. "Am I different?"

"No, not really," Pavel shrugged. "I can tell something's different. _You_ don't laugh as much. You're a bit more quiet."

Anya weighed his words. It was true. In the month she'd been here, her grief had stayed with her. _No, not grief,_ she realized. _Fear of going back._

"Ensign Chekov...s!"

Pavel turned and saluted immediately. Anya didn't recognize the handsome man before her, but quickly picked up by his insignia that he was an admiral. She snapped to attention.

"At ease. How was Russia?" the man boomed jovially. He had a kind face and a charming smile that Anya swore she recognized from somewhere.

Pavel smiled and looked to Anya, obviously expecting her to answer. Suddenly a look of understanding passed his face and he jumped in. "Eet vas fun, sir. I hope Keptain Kirk thought ze same! I know Cat did. Ve vill be in America for ze wedding after zis mission. Cat ees from Minnesota – zat's near Iowa, eesn't eet?"

"Closer than Russia," the admiral grinned. "And congratulations on your engagement, Mr. Chekov! Dr. Greenberg is a kind woman. You couldn't ask for a better partner." He raised an eyebrow at Anya. "But you might be able to, on the other hand."

Uncertain of the jest, Anya moved her mouth wordlessly as she struggled for a response as the admiral laughed and clapped his hand on his leg.

"What's the matter? Cat got your tongue? Forget Federation Standard during your time in Russia?" The admiral chuckled, then paused. "Wait, are you all right, Anya?"

Anya shook her head. "No, no, sir, just trying to get caught back up on ze time change!" She laughed hesitantly. "Sorry. Space brains."

"I see. Well, I'll let you two get settled in. I'm meeting with Jim briefly and then I'll get out of here and you can depart. I bet you're looking forward to only being gone a year this time, huh? As much as I loved flying, sometimes you just need to put your feet on solid ground and feel natural gravity." The admiral looked around the ship fondly. "But god, I loved the Enterprise." He patted the hallway and winked at the twins. "Take care of her."

Pavel nodded. "Yes, sir."

The man nodded and smiled more. "And take care of your Americans." He winked before taking off.

As soon as he turned a corner and was out of earshot, Pavel turned to her, his face twisted in confusion. "You don't know him in your universe?" Pavel exclaimed. "Zat's Admiral Kirk! Keptain Kirk's father! He was keptain of ze Enterprise before Jim was!"

"No!" Anya whispered in surprise. _So that's why he looked so familiar!_ "He died ze day ze keptain was born. Jim never met his father."

Pavel stared at her in disbelief. "I hate to say, but your dimension sounds like ze _dark_ dimension. Ees zat why you're okay staying here?"

Knowing her twin would be able to detect when she was lying in this dimension or any other, Anya bit her lip and ignored him.

"You aren't going to tell me vhat happened zere, are you?" Pavel pressed her. "I'm your _twin,_ Anya. You obwiously need to tell someone. You can tell me!"

Anya shook her head. "No," she whispered.

Pavel nodded, his brows knitted together. "Okey." He forced a smile. "Come on. Ve can't miss ze first meeting of ze mission."

The twins turned and walked silently down the hall.

"Okey, just tell me zis," Pavel blurted after a few moments of silence. "Ees vhatever happened in your universe _so_ bad zat you don't want to go back?" He studied her face, so similar to his, with worry. "Vhat will happen eef you _do_ get back zhere? Are you in danger zere? Are you sick? Does ze Enterprise blow up? Tell me _something!_ Eef eet's zat bad, maybe we can figure out a way to make sure you stay here."

"No," Anya groaned. "I can't tell you. You can't do anything about it! Quit bothering me every two seconds about eet and just shut up!" She glared at Pavel and immediately regretted doing so. She'd have given anything in her home universe to be able to bicker with him again. Now here he was, and if looks could kill, he'd have dropped dead here, too.

Pavel, ever the sensitive one, with the innocence of a golden retriever puppy, winced at her tone and held his hands up as if trying to deflect her words. "I'm sorry! I just -I just wanted to help. You're my sister," he added as a reminder. "I don't want you to get hurt." He chewed at his bottom lip and stared at the floor. "I'm sorry."

Guilt-stricken, Anya stopped and there in the hallway as crew members bustled about them. "You died," she blurted.

The rosy color drained from Pavel's cheeks.

"Zat's why I didn't want to tell you," Anya said. She immediately regretted letting it slip. "I-"

"How?" he whispered.

"A mission," Anya answered softly.

Pavel nodded solemnly. "Oh." The nauseated look on his face and his trembling, twitching hands made Anya's stomach drop.

"I – I can tell you ze story, or I don't haff to," Anya said awkwardly.

"It's okay," he quickly said. He forced a smile. "Let's get to ze bridge, yeah? Ze meeting's in only five minutes." He turned and continuted down the hall, leaving his sister standing in his wake as if she was watching a ghost.

* * *

"Good work." Jim grinned at the in tact landmine sitting on the boulder a few yards away from the group.

Bones, in spite of his annoyance at the whole situation, grinned smugly. "I _do_ have steady hands. That's for damn sure."

"So how do you know which portal to throw it through? Or where the next portal wil show up?" Nyota posed.

"This planet is so unstable, it's nearly impossible to calculate," Spock answered. "The odds of predicting accurately when one of the portals will open us is exactly one in forty seven billion. And the odds of finding a portal that led to the same place Ensign Chekova was? Those are one in-"

"Okay, okay," Jim stopped him. "We'll find a portal and we'll toss the mine through and it will spit Anya back out. It's going to work." He picked up a handful of pebbles and tossed them into an empty space, trying his luck. The pebbles rained down onto the ground. He repeated the action a few times. No portals. "Come on. Give me a hand. Spread out, but avoid the landmine areas Scotty has pointed out."

As the away team bent to scoop the pebbles from the ground, Hikaru began laughing.

Jim glanced back at him. "What's so funny, Mr. Sulu?"

But Sulu couldn't answer. He had doubled over and was holding his stomach as he guffawed. His eyes began to water and his face turned red. He gasped for air as he laughed.

"I'm glad you've lightened up," Jim continued. He glanced at Bones, who shrugged. "You clocked me in the face like five minutes ago. Now you look like you're going to pee your pants. What's so funny?"

Sulu straightened and wiped his eyes. His anger had obviously reached a boiling point. Hikaru shook his head. None of it made sense. He cleared his throat and tried to regain his composure. He failed. _Anya would think this was hilarious!_ He thought _. Who would have laughed even harder yet? Pavel._ "We're a team of StarFleet officers throwing rocks around to find a portal so we can blow it up to get one of our crew members back who was beamed off our ship by the old version of our ship before falling through a portal and disappearing." Another giggle.

"Well, when you put it that way," Jim grumbled.

"When all else fails and technology can't help us, why not just throw rocks?" Still snorting in laughter, Sulu picked up a hand full of pebbles and tossed them as sarcastically as he could. The smirk fell from his face immediately. The pebbles never hit the ground.

"Scotty," Jim breathed. "The mine."


	24. Boom

_Alternate Universe Enterprise_  
The USS Enterprise sailed into space for months. Work continued as normal on board.

Anya Chekova was pleased with her life. The Chekov twins worked different shifts on the bridge. More often than not, Pavel worked while Jim and Sulu were on duty. Anya didn't mind the change and the new faces on her shift. It was refreshing to find Jim after work and fall into his arms or into his bed. She did miss having Hikaru as her best friend, so she made it a point to seek him out and spend time with him.

On an off day, Pavel and Anya made their way to the mess hall for breakfast. They'd come to an unspoken mutual decision to never speak of Anya's home dimension and Pavel's death there. Once the permanency of her residence in this universe had been accepted, the twins had fallen back into a normal routine.

"How's vedding planning?" Anya asked. "Cat says a friend is taking care of everything beck on Earth?"

Pavel nodded. "Aye. I don't care vhat eet is. I just vant to marry her." He grinned. "Eet could be in a field, church, ze Enterprise. As long as she's there."

Anya smiled. "But eet's going to be?"

"Outside somewhere. With lots of flowers. We aren't wearing uniforms." Pavel shrugged. "Ask Cat."

The door to the mess hall _whoosh_ ed open.

Jim and Cat sat at a table with their heads bowed together. The Chekov twins approached them with interest.

"Oh!" Cat exclaimed as she saw the siblings. "Hi, hey." She sat up and scooted away from the captain. Her cheeks burned red as if she'd been caught in a scandalous act. Paperwork scraped together as she frantically tried to sort it back into a pile.

"Cat! I'm hurt!" Pavel exclaimed dramatically. "I can't say I'm surprised. I always knew zis is how eet would end. Secret meetings with ze keptain?"

"Oh, boy," Jim said, raising an eyebrow at Anya. "Here we go. You're in for a show."

"What _oh boy?"_ Cat asked, her eyes wide. "No, no, no. It's confidential administrative policy. Pavel, we're just-"

"My fiance with my keptain een plain sight of ze entire crew? Huddled together for everyone to see?" Pavel turned dramatically to Anya, who regarded him with amusement. "I guess zere's nothing left for us. We knew zis vas inewitable. My twin, my loff, ve won't have to hide anymore!" Pavel dipped Anya low and pressed his cheek against hers in a mock make out.

Anya giggled against his stubble and remembered how Jim had reacted the first time they'd done this to him. It had been stupid things like this that she'd missed the most when he'd been dead in what now seemed like another lifetime. It wasn't the big moments that hurt the most – holidays were filled with crew members and activities, after all – it was the everyday banter and comfort she'd desperately longed for.

"Oh, my god," Cat gasped in horror. She looked at Jim. "Stop them!"

"Not going to lie. I swear I had a dream about this last week," Jim replied.

Pavel sat Anya upright and caressed her cheek. "Zey vill never separate us now."

" _Pavel, people are staring,_ " Cat breathed.

He cackled and waved a dismissive hand as Anya laughed nervously and tried to recover. "Only joking. But really, vhat _are_ you two doing?"

Jim rolled his eyes. "There's a new protocol for filing psychological reports. Now instead of staying on the ship, they get elevated immediately to the folks back on base. Bones didn't want to deal with it, so here we are. It's not the most-"

"Did you really just-" Cat interrupted.

" _No!"_ Anya and Pavel exclaimed indignantly. "And ve never have," they finished in unison.

"Yeah, definitely wondered the same thing a time or two," Jim consoled her. Ignoring the twins' glares, he glanced at his watch. "Do we all really have the day off?" he mused. "I don't know the last time that happened. Let's do something. Double date. Huh, An?"

Anya sat next to him, picking up his fork and cutting a chunk of the pancake on his plate for herself as she did. "Of course. Vedding planning?"

"No," Pavel groaned before Cat could answer. "Something zat's _not_ work. Poker!"

"I'm not afraid to take my brother-in-law's money," Jim scoffed.

"Brother-in-law?" Anya replied suspiciously. "Zey're getting married- not us."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Jim exclaimed, his ears burning red. "That's what I meant. Yeah, of course." He stole a quick look at Pavel, who shrugged as if nothing had happened. His facial expression told Jim Anya hadn't picked up on his mistake. The men were both in on the plan; that evening Jim would ask Anya to marry him.

"Meet in your cabin in an hour, then?" Cat suggested. "I need to tuck away this paperwork."

Without warning, every one of Anya's senses were triggered. Sound, touch, smell, intuition – everything rang at levels off the charts. Something was happening – had happened? She wasn't sure. All she knew was the nothingness and overwhelming explosion that overtook her.

 _The Original Enterprise_  
"Anya!" Jim fell to the ground beside her. He reached out eagerly to embrace her, but Hikaru beat him to it; suddenly swooping in and nearly tackling the woman to the ground.

Scott's plan had seemingly worked. A huge explosion had rocked whatever as on the other side of the portals and everything, including the missing Klingons, had reappeared in its rightful places. Quick shooting from Spock and Scotty amended the security breach. Now everyone loomed over the human body that'd landed with a soft _thud_ in the dirt.

"Are you okay?" Hikaru pulled away just long enough to look her over. "Geeze, Anya. I thought I'd lose you, too."

"Too?" Anya repeated groggily. "How long have I been out? Who else was hurt?"

"Move. Move!" Bones pushed his way through and knelt next to her. "Anya. Can you hear me?"

She nodded. "Da, yes." She took a deep breath to ground herself. "Where's Pavel? Cat? Were they hurt? What happened?"

Bones and Jim exchanged a worried look. Hikaru held her tighter. Nyota sighed and frowned as Spock quirked an eyebrow in confusion.

"Anya, I'm going to ask you some questions." Bones said slowly. "What day is it?"

"Monday," Anya replied. She rubbed her head. "Ees everything okey?

"It's going to be fine," Sulu sighed in relief. "You're okay now."

Bones considered her answer, then tried again. "What _month_ is it?"

"June," Anya looked from Hikaru to Jim. "Did I hit my head? Ees everyone else okey?"

"No, it's December." Hikaru looked anxiously back at Dr. McCoy. "Does she have a concussion?"

"I'm not sure," the doctor grumbled, "but something's not right."


	25. Home Again

The rocks beneath Anya's fingertips and the chill of the breeze on her face were the first signals that something was terribly wrong. She gasped and struggled to get to her feet, but Jim and Hikaru urged her to stay down. "Where ees ze Enterprise?" she panted, panic mounting in her chest. "No, no, no." The rust colored gravel was too familiar. It was one of the last things she remembered before waking up in her parents' house back on Christmas Day. "Please, please, zis can't be right. It was just a malfunction. Eet wasn't supposed to happen like zis." She squeezed her eyes shut. "Please. Please, please, no, no, no." When she opened them, the familiar faces of the bridge crew looked back at her. Jim. Bones. Spock. Nyota. Scott. Hikaru. She wailed in dismay.

"Easy, easy," Bones soothed her. "Geeze, kid. You've had a hell of a day. Give yourself a second."

Jim wiped an errant tear away, not even trying to hide it from his first mate, who would surely ask about his emotional state later. "We're just glad you're back."

"No!" Anya cried. "Is Pavel dead?" she exclaimed frantically. "Ees he dead? _Tell me!_ "

"Yeah," Jim answered. "He's gone, Anya." His brows dipped in pity for her. "Months ago."

"Oh, god," she panted, throwing herself forward and heaving between her knees. This was real – as real as the place she'd just come from.

Hikaru brushed her hair back from her face. "You're safe. I've got you."

"She's obviously over stimulated by whatever happened wherever the hell she was," Bones said, his annoyance giving way to amusement. "Don't go falling through portals or getting beamed off the ship again, all right? Stress is bad for the heart, you know. I can't take it."

Anya was sobbing. "I didn't get to say- I didn't get to tell him-"

Jim looked back to Bones. "What's best for her right now?"

"Believe it or not, I've never had a case study where the patient just got blown back through a portal, Jim," Bones replied. "Anya, we're going to take you to the shuttle and get you back to the ship. I'll examine you in the medical bay to make sure you're still in one piece." He nodded to Sulu. "We'll have to carry her."

"I can walk," Anya sniffled. The nightmare that had plagued her for the last six months had come true. She was home. Home in the universe where Pavel was dead and Jim never met his father. But it was her home. Where she belonged. "How long was I gone?"

"Fifteen minutes, maybe," Jim answered. "Fifteen of the worst minutes of the mission. Where were you? Were you in danger?"

"No," Anya shook her head. "I wasn't. I was- somewhere else."

"Give her a minute. If she doesn't want to talk about it-" Hikaru snapped defensively.

"I was with all of you," Anya interrupted. "For months. Since Christmas."

"You-?" Jim stuttered. "What?" He looked to Spock, hoping the know-it-all would offer an explanation.

The Vulcan tilted his head slightly. "A parallel timeline," Spock breathed. "Fascinating."

"You can hit her with your questions later. Right now my patient needs to be in the med bay," Bones barked. "Let's go."

* * *

Under the bright lights of the medical bay, guilt dropped on Anya. _I stayed too long. I knew I shouldn't do that to the crew!_ Reason quickly admonished her. _I couldn't have come back even if I wanted._

Bones flicked a flashlight beam across her eyes. She squinted and looked away.

"I can only keep them away for so long," Bones said softly. "It's important you get your rest, but you know Jim's going to want to know what happened on the other side of that god-forsaken hole. We have to know for the report. As far as I'm concerned, it can wait until the morning."

Anya sighed and closed her eyes.

"Did you receive any injuries, wounds, _anything_ while you were on the other side?" Dr. Greenberg asked from the other side of her.

Anya shook her head. Where Cat had been a close friend, now she was again just the ship's doctor, only just warming up to Anya; mostly hating that she looked and sounded so much like her dead fiance, Anya's dead twin.

"Cat, look at this," Bones breathed. He was at the foot of Anya's bed. Her bare foot was jiggling anxiously. Bones snatched it and held it still. "Didn't you see her foot yesterday? Beat to hell, with that branch through it?"

Cat nodded and squinted in confusion. "Oh, wow. This isn't possible."

"My _foot_?" Anya asked in confusion.

"There's just a scar- very faint – in its place." Dr. Greenberg looked at Bones with concern. "It would take months for that wound to heal."

"Anya, how much time passed where you were?" Bones asked.

"I woke up on Christmas. It's June. It _was_ June," Anya corrected herself. She sighed. "I thought I was crazy. What day is it here? Could I have lost my mind? Am I in a coma and just dreaming this?"

"It's the middle of December," Bones said hesitantly. "We've got your psychological evaluation scheduled for tomorrow. It's been a long day. You just need to rest now. Try not to worry. You're safe."

Dr. Greenberg smiled sadly at Anya. "People who have lost their minds don't usually worry if they have or not. You know, if there's anything you need to talk about as you get used to life back here, remember we have training in psychology, too."

Anya sighed. _Oh, will I have things to talk about._

"Is she still awake?" Jim's voice came as he crashed through the door.

Bones raised an eyebrow Anya. "If she wasn't, she sure would be the way you come screaming in here all the time. This is a med bay, not a sports arena, Jim."

" _Sorry,_ " Jim complained, as if a child annoyed at being told to calm down.

Bones nodded at Dr. Greenberg. "We'll be in my office discussing a treatment plan. Don't distress my patient, Jim. I mean it. Anya, if he bothers you, just call and we'll toss him out. This is the one place on the _Enterprise_ I can do that sort of thing."

Jim rolled his eyes. He then turned to Anya and his face softened. "How are you feeling?" As soon as she'd been blown back through the portal, she'd reacted in a way no one had expected. She'd been horrified and hysterical. Anya had screamed and sobbed, had a panic attack and thrown up. While her physical body seemed completely in tact and in fact better than when she had been beamed off the Enterprise, the rest of her was bruised and broken.

Anya bit her lip and sighed.

"We don't have to talk about it. I'm not here as your captain," Jim said. He cleared his throat and looked around the med bay. Her coldness toward him was confusing and left him feeling like he'd gone through a breakup. "I just want to see that you're all right." He reached out and touched her hand. When she didn't jerk it away, he squeezed. "I thought I lost you. We're just getting started with whatever this is going to be, and I don't want to smother you." He chuckled nervously. "But you did just go through some crazy stuff and I'm here, if you want me to be."

Anya finally looked back up to him and smiled sadly. "Thank you."

"Are- do you, I mean – do you want this to be a thing? Right now, I mean? If not, I can, you know-" Jim stumbled desperately. "It doesn't have to be. You just- you tell me what you need this to be. Or want. Or- ugh."

His worry made Anya smile. "I have spent the last six months with you, keptain. Eet just may be strange for me to start over at ze beginning."

Jim grinned widely. "Together like-"

"You wisited my parents during shore leaff."

Jim nodded. "All right. Good. Do they like me?" He rubbed his hands together eagerly.

Anya laughed aloud. "Yes. As much as zey could like an American, zat is."

They chatted and laughed for some time. Inside his office, Bones watched through the blinds, thankful someone could make the girl smile after her ordeal.


	26. Beginning Or an End

It was just like the first time she'd lost Pavel, but stranger.

Anya Chekova was once again an only child instead of a twin. What was worse? She'd lost Pavel unexpectedly. Again. She didn't get to say goodbye. Again.

Exhaustion hung under her eyes, displaying itself as purple circles. During meals she sat and pushed her food around, the fork never touching her lips. Focus seemed to elude her. Navigation calculations took much longer than usual. Questions and requests were met with silence or a terse nod.

Jim watched helplessly as Anya grieved her dead brother. Again. Bones had explained that after spending so much time with Pavel in the alternate universe, coming home to a world in which he was dead could surely trigger the same feelings of loss she'd felt before. "Probably even more intense than the first time around," the doctor had sighed. "But we can't do anything about it." She would grieve. _Especially_ now that she knew her twin existed out there somewhere that she could potentially, but realistically never travel to again.

Bones had urged Jim to put an end to their 3A.M. Chess Club meetings. "If there's a reason for her to stay awake, she's going to do it. If she doesn't have that as a motivation to stay up, she might actually try to sleep at night."

Yet Jim wandered in to the break room at 3 A.M. at least twice a week to check if Anya was there. If she was, they'd make small talk and play a game of chess. Her usually rosy cheeks were now always pale; the pieces mirrored her white face.

The captain was saddened by their lack of chemistry and hoped it'd reappear, but respectfully gave her the space she seemed to need. After all, she'd promised that her feelings for him were there, just scrambled up with her grief.

Constant questions drove Anya even further into isolation. The large majority of the crew had heard the story that Lt. Chekova had spent time in an alternate universe where the former Lt. Chekov was alive. They were curious. Even acquaintances peppered her with theories and questions they wanted answered in the name of science. Soon Anya avoided public spaces entirely. Only Sulu had seemed to survive her new wave of introspection. Anya whispered to him on the bridge and spent time in his quarters off duty.

"She's quiet, mostly," Hikaru had replied plainly when Jim had asked how she was. He described their typical evening in his quarters. He'd read or video chat with his family as Anya read, wrote, or simply stared at nothing in particular. "She's not around for company. Not really. She hangs out so she isn't alone, if that makes sense."

For a while Captain Kirk could bear it. Anya needed time. She'd spent half a year with her dead brother and now he was gone again. No matter how hard he tried to imagine the feelings she was held captive by, Jim couldn't.

When weeks turned over to a month, he'd had enough. In the fifteen minutes Anya had disappeared through the portal, Jim had realized that life without her was dimmer. It wasn't just because he needed a Chekov in the navigator seat. He was in love with the girl's bubbly spirit. He admired her intelligence. Her accent warmed his heart. Captain Kirk had fallen in love with Anya Chekova.

Her cabin door was sterile and cold. It warned him to stay away, but Jim rapped thrice on it anyway. "Anya," he called in a chipper voice. "It's Thursday."

The door _whoosh_ ed open. "Aye, Keptain?" Anya stood with her curls pulled into a loose bun on top of her head and in StarFleet sweatpants. Her uniform lay on the floor in a pile.

"I _know_ you needed some time away, but it _is_ Thursday. And I think it's time you came back." Jim offered a soft smile while using his captain voice.

"Keptain? Come beck? I worked my shift already today. I-" she seemed to be pulling her schedule up in the computer that was her mind. "I'm not on ze bridge until tomorrow morning at sewen."

"Not work. Wings night."

The woman blinked at him. Her facial expression didn't change and she didn't speak.

Jim cleared his throat awkwardly. "You know. With the group. You've missed like four of these things. They're not the same without you. Besides, I asked and no one saw you at the cafeteria after your shift. You must be hungry. What did Bones say? Grieve. But eat."

Anya opened her mouth. Her furrowed brow betrayed what she was about to say.

Before she could object, Jim cocked his own eyebrow. "That's an order, Commander."

"An order to eat hot vings?"

"Yes, Chekova. An order to eat hot wings." Jim's heart thudded in his chest. _This was stupid. She needs time. She'll come back when she'd ready. You're an idiot, Jim. If she liked you before, she's going to think you're an idiot now._

But at long last a real smile spread on her face. "Vell, I can hardly disobey an order, Keptain."

* * *

Five minutes later, the pair was strolling toward the bar.

"Are you going to be all right?" Jim asked bluntly.

"Aye," Anya shrugged. "Eet's been an adjustment." She sighed and seemed to be thinking hard about something. "I deedn't mean to shut you out."

Now that she spoke aloud, Jim smiled. Her accent had obviously been thickened by her time spent in the company of another Russian. "We get it. It's just time to come back to us, okay? Even Spock is getting worried."

Anya smiled back at him and a flock of butterflies erupted in Jim's stomach as they turned into the bar.

"Anya!" Hikaru exclaimed. He stood and pulled out the chair next to him. "I'm glad you decided to come."

"Eet vas an order," Anya replied in jest

The group chuckled. They'd already dug into their hot wings, hot off the replicator. Jim waved to the bartender for two more orders.

Conversation ebbed and flowed until the doors whooshed open and Scotty jogged in, red-faced and huffing.

"Captain, I really need to – oh! There she is!" he exclaimed upon finding Anya at the table. "Lassie, I have something for ye." He hurried to her and held out a piece of computing paper. "I wen' to your cabin, but you weren' there. I'm glad you're here. It's important. I just received it."

"Vhat?" Anya looked up in surprise. "Important? For me?" She looked to Jim, worried the news was of an official nature.

Jim shrugged at her. "I have no idea."

Anya gingerly took the paper, which had Russian characters printed on it. "Vhat is zis?" she asked in awe. "Eet looks so old-fashioned."

"I don't speak Russian, but there was another transmission with it in English. For me." Scott nodded toward the paper. "You're going to want to read that." He broke into a grin. "Read it!"

As the woman bowed her head and began to read, Jim looked to Scotty quizzically. The engineer shook his head and watched Anya with great interest.

 _Anya._

 _When the smoke cleared from the explosion in the mess hall, I knew you had gone home. "You" were physically uninjured and still here with me, but "our" Anya had returned._

 _"Our" Anya hadn't missed a beat. Our theory was wrong. You didn't push our Anya out of her body – you just overrode her, and she sat back and observed without knowing your beings had joined as one. Long story short, I won't mention your dimension to our Anya. That can stay between us, my other-dimensional twin. She would just get all worked up if I were to tell her what happened. You know how you are. It's best to be our secret._

 _It's been a year since I saw you. I was able to calculate the potential locations of your dimension and will push this message through to my final three locations. I know you'll get it. I apologize for the delay- it did take some time to figure the math out. Scotty helped me and promised to keep it a secret from the rest of the crew. I'm not sure he will, but will anyone believe that you're in another dimension when you're right here with us?_

 _There's so much good news to share. I'm a father! Cat had a baby girl. We named her Cassiopeia. She was born on the Enterprise. Dr. McCoy delivered her and I don't think I've ever cried in space until I held my daughter. Congratulations. You have a goddaughter in another dimension. (We haven't figured out how to send images yet, but we will!)_

 _More good news- You and Captain Kirk are getting married! Tomorrow, actually. I'm your Man of Honor. Honestly, I'm writing this letter instead of writing my speech. I'm not sure I'll be able to live up to your speech at my wedding. The captain is expecting me for one last guys' drink at the bar, so I should be off!_

 _I've included the calculations for communicating through dimensions at the end of this message. Ask Scotty for help. You can trust him. And Hikaru. Always._

 _I hope you're at peace in your universe. No matter what, I told you we'd always be together somehow._

 _Pavel._

"Anya?"

Anya looked up and realized tears were flowing silently down her cheeks. The entire table had turned to stare at her. Their sauce-covered hands and faces stood in hilarious contract to their solemn expressions. She quickly swatted at the tears and cleared her throat. "Oh."

"What is it?" Hikaru asked urgently.

"Are you all right?" Nyota asked softly.

Jim touched her shoulder and leaned in, glancing at the characters. "What is it? Is it something from your parents?"

"No," Anya breathed. Wings forgotten, Anya felt dizzy and as if she were about to float up from her seat. Emotions clashed violently; surprise with elation, grief with excitement. She looked up at Scotty. "Is zis true?"

"Fill me in here, Scotty." Jim stood. "What did you receive?"

"It's a communication from another dimension," Scotty explained. He pulled a piece of paper from his pocket. "I have the formulas to respond."

"Is that from-" Hikaru breathed, staring at the letter in Anya's hands.

"Yes," she nodded. "Pavel."


	27. Correspondence

"Hot across dimensions for you," Scotty announced as he handed Anya a folded sheet of paper.

"Commander Chekova, there are no personal matters on the bridge," Spock interjected.

"Hey, Spock," Jim interrupted. "Shut up."

It had been several months since Scotty had received communication from the alternate dimension Anya had unintentionally visited in which Pavel Chekov was alive. The night the first note came through, Scotty and Anya hunkered over a piece of technology and responded. Whether their note had been received remained a mystery until now.

"Thank you!" Anya exclaimed, flying from her station and eagerly accepting the paper.

Scotty chuckled as the woman nearly bowled him over.

"Oh my god," Anya chanted as she unfolded the note. Her heard pounded. Hands trembling, she held up the paper to interpret the Russian characters. A bittersweet excitement buzzed in her mind. In anticipation of news from Pavel, she'd lurked around the engineering department more than she cared to admit. She _knew_ that her brother had died. _Her_ Pavel had sacrificed himself and would experience no more in this world. Yet _a Pavel,_ out in the multiverse, was experiencing life, a life _her_ Pavel perhaps could have had.

The crew looked at one another in happy anticipation as Anya scanned the letter with a small smile on her lips. With the first note, Anya had been gracious enough to share the details. The crew hoped for more of the same. Hikaru sat at attention, eager to hear how his best friend was faring, and hoping for a mention.

After a moment, Anya's brow furrowed and her eyes momentarily stopped scanning from side to side.

"Shit," Jim whispered. "Something's wrong there, isn't it?" He looked from face to face, noting the crew's worry.

"No, no," Anya replied. "Time zere ees- eet's going much faster zen here. Cassiopeia is already enrolled in academy. Zat would make Pavel – almost forty?"

Nyota smiled proudly. "I knew she'd be smart. Any daughter of Pavel was bound to be a little genius." She blinked back her misty eyes. Her maternal love for Chekov never faded.

"Wait, wait." Jim shook his head. "Enrolled in Academy? Almost forty? Chekov's not even thirty. It's been sixteen years there?" Jim exclaimed. "It hasn't even been a year here!"

"The passage of sixteen years is unlikely," Spock replied matter-of-factly. "The Chekov twins entered Academy at a much younger age than most. It's likely that less time has passed." He nodded to Anya, hoping for an explanation.

Anya nodded. "Aye. She ees twelve." She looked up and grinned. "Ve vere thirteen vhen ve vere accepted."

"Still, twelve years in three months? That's insane. That's crazy." Jim shook his head. "Geeze." His stomach sank. When he glanced at Sulu, he found the same worried expression. _Pavel is going to die before Anya. Again. And sooner than we expected. Fuck._

"You'll recall that in fifteen minutes our time, Anya spent six months in that dimension," Spock offered. "This is not at all unheard of. The theory of alternate-"

"Aye," Scotty interrupted. "Time's going the same speed there as it is here, but it just seems different due to the offset between dimensions."

"Zen I have no time to lose!" Anya said. "Mr. Scott, we must respond!"

Spock glanced at Jim. When he did nothing, the Vulcan turned to Anya. "Commander, you are still on duty for another-"

"Shut up, Spock," Sulu and Nyota chimed in unison.

* * *

Soon after Scotty and Anya had sent off a reply to Pavel, the navigator wandered through the halls, the letter clutched safely in her hand. She imagined what Pavel and Cat's daughter looked like. Though he'd promised to try, Pavel had been unable to find a way to transmit image or video.

Anya turned toward the medical bay, hesitant and unsure. Dr. Greenberg was on duty, but after the first letter, Cat had explained that she had her closure and didn't feel the need to transmit a response to Pavel. _Eef I had a brilliant child een another dimension with my dead lover, wouldn't I want to know?_ Anya wondered.

The American doctor had refused to take any other suitors in the time since Pavel's death, and like Anya, had grieved some knowing that somewhere out there, the love of her life lived and laughed and explained how seemingly everything had a Russian origin.

Jim had made a strong argument to keep Pavel's communications from her to spare her heartache, but  
instruction from Pavel had trumped the captain's defense. Shortly after his first letter to Anya, he'd sent an English letter for Anya to give to Cat.

Anya smiled as she remembered Cat's shaking voice as she'd read the words.

 _"My Cat thinks your dimension's Cat, the one who grieved my death, would benefit from hearing that we are married with a beautiful daughter, even if it is in another dimension," he'd written. "Anya, give her this letter. Tell her I have loved her always and we were destined to be together._

 _"My Cat, my Koshki, you are intelligent, compassionate, and beautiful. You will do amazing things in your dimension like you have done here. I'm endlessly proud of you. In times when you wonder if I would have approved of something, know the answer is yes! You've always made the right choices and I support you no matter what you choose in life._

 _I feel such sorrow that I left you alone in your world. Even now as I watch Cat work on reports not five feet from me, my heart breaks for you, knowing that in your world, this life doesn't wait for you. I love you here, and you in your world. I desperately apologize for dying in such a seemingly foolish way, Cat. Anya explained the decision I made there, and it will either give you anger or solace to know that I would do it again. Giving my life for the lives of an entire planet was not even worth debating. But I am sorry to leave you in such a manner without a chance to say goodbye._

 _"That being said, don't let my existence here in my world hold you back. Do anything and everything that makes you happy! If another charming Russian sweeps you off your feet, I give my absolute blessing for him to be honored with your affection. Go forward with your life knowing that somewhere we are together. Our daughter is happy and healthy, and life has been far better than I could have ever imagined._

 _"I love you forever, Cat Greenberg. Pavel."_

Cat had accepted the note, read it, and chosen not to reply. "This is my closure," Cat smiled. "This is what I needed from him." As if being transformed before Anya's eyes, the doctor had laughed aloud, held the letter against her chest, and become her old self.

With the memory still fresh in her mind, Anya changed plans. Cat didn't need anything more from Pavel. She had what she needed. Anya blinked a few times as realization sank in. Even across years and dimensions, her twin knew what she needed from him. She needed closure, and by explaining his charmed life, Pavel was providing it.


	28. Boldly Go

A slight shift in the Enterprise's course caused the captain to snort in his sleep. Without waking, Jim rolled over and sighed heavily as he settled back into slumber.

Beside him in the darkness, Anya smiled.

It had taken months, but she'd let him in. The captain was indeed a good man, if not a little impulsive and rebellious at times. Jim Kirk had never been anything but kind to her as she worked through her grief. (Plus, Hikaru had let slip that Jim often set his alarm for 3:00 A.M. to make sure Anya wasn't alone in the break room. She found that endearing beyond any other example.) Anya loved the captain, and though he'd never said it aloud, it was obvious that he loved her deeply as well.

Life was good; missing something, but good.

Knowing Jim to be a heavy sleeper, Anya reached for her tablet, activated it, and pulled up video files to play in the air above the bedside table. She'd memorized the pictures and videos by heart, but for the hundredth time, video and audio from her last birthday on Earth played. Her parents beamed. Pavel chuckled shyly and took a drink of vodka. _Forever young,_ Anya thought to herself. _Here, at least._

Beside her, Jim stirred but didn't wake up. She nestled into his side and savored his warmth. A realization suddenly struck her with the force of a phaser: she was going to be okay. Life was a precious, invaluable gift filled with wonder, love, and beauty, and somehow, she was going to be okay.

* * *

 _One Year Later_

Bones raised an eyebrow across the med bay at his partner.

Dr. Greenberg was bent over her desk, finishing paperwork. Her long blonde hair was braided into a crown around her head. Bright red lipstick matched her bright red high heels.

"I see you're breaking StarFleet uniform policy even more than on an average day. What's the occasion?" Bones asked.

Dr. Greenberg looked surprised. " _Me?_ Break protocol?" She frowned. "I've never broken regulation _ever!_ Ask Jim. Perfect record. _"_

Rolling his eyes, Bones nodded. "Yeah, says the doctor who hasn't worn her medical blues what, ever?"

With a sassy wink and grin, the doctor turned to a mirror hanging over her desk. "I don't consider the uniform protocol. It doesn't affect how I treat my patients. Anyway, I happen to have a date," she replied to her reflection.

"A date? You do?" Bones replied in earnest shock. He reviewed her outfit once more and decided she must be telling the truth. The doctor wore a black turtleneck dress and her lipstick, fingernails, and shoes all coordinated in a fiery red hue.

"I do," Cat smiled. "Just a date, Leo. Just dinner."

"Oh. Okay," Bones replied. He sat back and nodded. Of course he didn't want the doctor to mourn her dead lover forever, but the thought of her with someone other than Chekov rubbed him the wrong way, even after all these months.

"I know what you're thinking, and stop it," Cat sang out. She put her hands on her hips and cleared her throat until Bones looked over to her. "Pavel said I could. He told me to. He wrote it in that letter, remember?"

"Yeah. I remember. Who is it?"

"One of the archaeologists, actually," Cat shrugged demurely. "He's very intelligent and very kind. If it goes well I'll have him come to the next wings night so you can all _approve_ of him or not."

"That's not what I'm saying," Leonard chuffed. "It's just- you know what, it's nothing."

"Cheer up, Leo," the younger doctor smiled. "He's out there living life somewhere. And you _know_ he'd be very disheartened to know we all sat around wishing he wasn't dead. We couldn't save him here, but he's not gone everywhere."

Later that night as Bones sat at the bar nursing a gin on the rocks, a commotion sent the hair on the back of his neck upright. He stood to leave, his body rigid in annoyance at having his solace interrupted, but the newcomers waved to him.

"Dr. McCoy," Hikaru greeted him. "Why are you here alone?"

"Mmhmm," Anya agreed. "Vhy didn't you call us eef you needed a drink? You know vhe drink on Tuesdays."

"And other days," Sulu shrugged.

"I just needed to think, that's all." Bones sat back down on his stood and leaned on the bar.

"Oh. Were we interrupting?" Hikaru asked, suddenly serious. He studied the doctor's face. "Or is there something you needed to talk about? Doctors are some of the worst patients, but we're here if you needed to get something off your chest." He sat next to Bones with his hands folded neatly before him and waited.

Bones rolled his eyes. "No, no. Well, maybe. It doesn't matter. I'm old and don't like change. That's all. You can't teach an old dog new tricks."

"Ve could haff told you zat," Anya replied, bemused.

"Cat's going out with an archaeologist."

"Yes, eesn't zat exciting? He's a nice guy," Anya added. "But vhat's so wrong with zat?"

"Don't worry about her. He's a solid guy. No funny stuff's going to happen, if that's what you're worried about." Hikaru lightened up. "See, you should have come to us instead of worrying."

"It's not the guy. It's that he's any guy. Just doesn't seem right, Cat with someone other than Chekov."

"Zat's not an option anymore," Anya softly replied. "And eet isn't fair for us to expect her to die an old maid just because Pavel died. Vhe know zey would haff lived happily ever after."

"Yeah, I know," Bones snapped. "It's just different, that's all. Geesh, you guys are terrible psychologists. You're so judgey." He folded his cocktail napkin over and then smoothed it out.

"Aye, zat's why I dropped my psychology track and became a nawigator instead," Anya shrugged. She winked and ordered a drink. "Eef a strong wodka can't fix it, you might be out of luck. Fortunately I haven't met a problem zat can't be solved with friends and wodka."

"Exactly. Another for the doctor," Hikaru called to the bartender. He turned to Bones and grinned. "We'll try to fix you up."

For once thankful for the youthful crew members bothering him, Bones cracked a smile. "I guess I could babysit you two tonight."

* * *

 _Three Years Later_

Bones rubbed his brow and tried to ignore the hum of the med bay machinery. "I hate being this far out in space when this stuff is happening. If something goes wrong, I'd better be able to figure it out or we're all up a creek with no paddle."

Jim raised an eyebrow. "Hardly reassuring. Can we get Dr. Greenberg in here instead? She's got way better bedside manner."

"Sorry," the doctor quickly recovered. He huffed. "But you just _had_ to mention it was _years_ until the next stop to a base or Federation planet. You know I have aviophobia!"

"After all this time?" Jim mused. "The Enterprise is a solid machine, Bones. You don't have anything to worry about."

Bones pursed his lips. "This is the _third E_ nterprise, isn't it?"

"Ahem?" Anya chimed in from the bed.

"Sorry, sorry," Bones said as he put his stethoscope in his ears. "Back to the patient. Patients."

Anya Chekov Kirk was pregnant with her and the captain's first child. She'd spent the past eight months cheerily going about her navigations and doing her best to keep her morning sickness at bay. Jim had tried his best to give Anya the same treatment as other pregnant crew members, but he struggled to allow her to go on missions.

"You'll be one hell of a protective father, that's for sure," Cat had mentioned to him after an especially dramatic blow up between the couple after Jim ordered Anya to stay on the Enterprise during a brief shore leave. "But she's still the same person, just with some new cells inside her. She's plenty sturdy, don't worry."

Since then, Jim had cooled and left staffing choices for missions up to Spock.

Now he licked his lips nervously and squeezed his wife's hand. "So we changed our minds. We want to know the gender."

Bones laughed aloud. "After swearing that come hell or high water I shouldn't tell you? I don't think so. I smell a trap." He pulled up Anya's shirt to expose her stomach. "Let's get some measurements on this kid, though."

"No, really," Anya giggled. "We vant to know. Measurements, then ze sex."

Bones raised an eyebrow and was thankful when the med bay door burst open, giving a much-needed diversion.

"Hikaru said you were in here, sorry, sorry," Scotty announced as he barged over toward Anya's bed. He tried to shield his eyes, but stumbled into a bed. "Time is of the essence! Message from Chekov's in."

"So soon?" Anya exclaimed, nearly leaping from the table. The massiveness of her stomach threw off her balance and she crashed into the engineer.

"Easy, lass!" Scotty chuckled. "Here, here. Sit down." He and Jim hauled her back onto the bed.

Holding her breath, Anya unfolded the letter and marveled at the familiar Russian characters.

 _How fast time flies, Anya._

 _But_ w _hat an adventure life has been!_

 _The children have grown and had their own children. I won't spoil the surprise of what your sons will achieve – but Captain Kirk couldn't be prouder. My Cassiopeia navigates for one of the federation's new ships, the USS Patriot. I hate to say that her crew reminds me of the Enterprise crew. It's hard to tell what adventures and mishaps she'll experience. She is a Chekov, but thankfully she's also half Greenberg. For that reason, I know she'll be all right._

 _Retirement wasn't as relaxing as I had hoped, as there's always someone reaching out looking for advice on this StarFleet organizational structure or that vessel issue. I served as navigator under Jim for many years before working up to Admiral. You may not believe it, but it's true! (Please make sure to tell Captain Kirk that, and make sure to watch his face for a reaction.) When I took the admiral job and grounded myself, Cat decided to stop flying too. She taught medical cadets at the academy for a long while. She passed last year, but I was able to hold her hand until the end. In two lifetimes Cat Greenberg and I were together until death parted us. If that's not a privilege, I don't know what is._

 _This will likely be my last message. My long years are drawing to an end– much more peaceful here than in your world, I promise. We have had more fantastic memories, laughs, and love than any crew deserves. I have had a spectacular life – so have you._

 _My other dimensional twin, don't worry! Don't be sad! Live your life with fervor! Love your friends and the crew. Life is an adventure and is best lived in the moment._

 _It's time for you to boldly go!_

 _Pavel._

Anya folded the letter, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath.

"Is everything all right?" Jim asked. Behind him, Scotty and Bones were holding their breath in anticipation of news.

"I've already got the system powered up and ready to go," Scotty exclaimed. "Let's go send a response, hurry! How many years have passed there?"

Shaking her head, Anya held the letter against her stomach. "It won't get zere in time. Decades haff passed. Pavel ees old and says zis is his last message."

"Shit. I'm sorry," Jim sighed. "That went so fast." He pursed his lips and cleared his throat to keep his emotion in check.

"No," Anya said with a small smile. "No, don't be sorry." She unfolded the letter and read it through once more. "Zis is such a gift. Who else gets to communicate with their dead brother? I was lucky to receive ze transmissions I did." Tears spilled down her cheeks, but she smiled still.

"That's a good way to look at it," Bones agreed. "Besides, there's no need to stress out the baby. At this point in the game it's best to remain calm and collected. The little tike needs to keep cooking."

"The little boy," Anya challenged him.

"Boy?" Jim exclaimed. He turned to Scotty. "A boy? A boy!"

"What makes you say that?" Bones asked over Jim's shouting.

"Pavel told me so," Anya giggled. She hugged the letter tight and sighed happily. "Zat's ze thing with twins- zey can't keep anything from each other, even with entire dimensions between zem."

* * *

 _One Month Later_

Uhura's usually stern face was set in a smile that looked like it might never fade.

Beside her, Spock was carefully cradling a human infant. "This child is remarkably serene, Captain. Are you certain he's your son?"

"Is that a joke?" Jim grinned. "Way to go, Spock." Spock and Uhura were the latest visitors to see his son. Hikaru had just left and escorted Anya back to the med bay for her one week check up. Now Jim felt his face soften as he watched his first mate hold his first child. Everyone said the boy looked like him, but Jim saw Anya in his narrow nose, large eyes, and curly brown hair.

"He's perfect," Uhura whispered.

"Not true," Spock stated, looking up from the baby for the first time. "Blue eyes are a genetic mutation among the human species. This child is technically a mutant."

"There it is," Jim sighed. "That's the Spock moment I was waiting for."

"Give him to me," Uhura said, scooping the baby into her arms. He cooed and reached up with both arms. "Does he have a name yet? For being so impulsive at the helm we thought you'd have a name the second he was born."

"I suggested one, but Anya's not having it," Jim shrugged. "She had a hell of a year being pregnant so she's got naming rights. I think we're finally decided on one, though."

"Eef eet was an easy pregnancy, vas I not going to have ze naming rights?" Anya asked in amusement as she entered the room, Hikaru at her side.

"Always," Jim quickly answered. "Everything check out well?" He ushered her into the room and helped lower her into the chair that had been her perch since giving birth.

Anya nodded. "Everything ees fine. Cat ees coming by soon, and Leo after his shift tonight." She rolled her eyes at Hikaru. "They insisted."

"To check on you? Why?" Jim touched her shoulder and stared into her face. "I thought you said you were okay?" He looked to Hikaru in anger. "Why didn't you come _get me?_ "

"To see the baby," Anya corrected him. "I'm not ze popular one here anymore."

"We're here to see you too," Uhura scoffed. "What name are you thinking? Jim said you have one in mind." she asked. She beamed down at the baby as he made a happy sound. "Whatever you pick is going to be perfect. How could it not with this perfect little face?"

"Aye, I think we haff decided." Anya replied. With Jim watching her in great interest, she decided not to stretch out the moment for drama. "Alexei P. Kirk."

Jim beamed. "Yes! I thought you didn't want that?"

"Not for a first name," Anya shrugged.

Hikaru's lip quivered briefly. "P for-?"

"Is it Pavel?" Uhura breathed, looking down at the baby with a renewed interest. "He does look a lot like him." Before tears could fall, she bit her lip and handed the boy back to Jim.

"Alexei Pavel Kirk," Jim replied gleefully. "Yes!"

* * *

 _Seventeen Years Later_

The cadet – no, he reminded himself, _ensign_ – strolled confidently through the passageways of the starship. The whir of electronics and clink of footsteps on the metal grate didn't bother him at all like it did some new crew members. On the contrary; he'd been born on a ship and often reminded his classmates about it during Academy.

All his life he'd dreamed of serving on the bridge of a Federation vessel, and it was finally happening. _At a heavy cost,_ he reminded himself. The _USS Independent'_ s pilot had been killed in a hostile encounter. When the call had come for him to report to base during the _Independent's_ bereavement leave, he eagerly video called his parents.

"It's happening. I got my orders for the _Independent!_ Did you know?" he exclaimed.

His father smirked proudly. "Yeah, I knew. And I told you brother too, but made him promise to keep a secret."

"I'm going to pilot the Federation's newest ship!" Saying it out loud didn't make it feel any less like a dream. "Can you believe it? This is the best day of my life!"

His mother took a breath and tilted her head slightly. "You will do vhell! Just remember vhat had to happen so zat you could sit in zat spot. I know ze feeling. Eet never goes away."

That doused his enthusiasm. "You're right," he answered with a frown. "I shouldn't be so excited. Someone died."

"You can be excited _and_ feel remorse. You're seventeen and piloting a ship. Be damn proud." His dad nodded. "I am. That's my boy."

If there was any advice to keep close to heart, it would come from his parents, both experienced StarFleet officers. Flying was in his blood, his bones, and even his name. So with nervous excitement and respectful restraint, he marched onto the bridge and saluted.

"Ensign Alexei P. Kirk, reporting for duty."


End file.
